Legal way for a muslim kid to have boy/girlfriend

[Paragon]

Originally posted by Northerner:

I wonder how many would turn out for a 14 year old's wedding,,,

The whole townfolk. It would be a zoo attraction

[Jacaylbaro]

Originally posted by De novo:

Why don't we let our kids to date in their teenage years? What if we let them marry each other, temporarily, with the consent of their parents with a condition that they stay married until they finish high school and sleep together only during the weekends in one of parents' homes. And that they should only do it using a condom. With this, there should be no worry of dropping-out of school because of pregnancy. And after finishing high school, they can upgrade their marriage to a full status or terminate it if they choose to. I believe this will help our kids to date each other legally and reduce to committing a sin!

hahahahaha ,,, i tought i'm in the jokes section until i realized i'm not.

 

In that case, i can provide condoms ,,,, seems a good marketting in the project.

 

Ramadan karim ,,, waxaas oo kele inaga daaya salli calee ,,,

[N.O.R.F]

Originally posted by Paragon:

quote:Originally posted by Northerner:

I wonder how many would turn out for a 14 year old's wedding,,,

The whole townfolk. It would be a zoo attraction

With a another 300 proposals by young tigers and acceptances by young foxes on the same night

[Cara.]

I didn't know there was an illegal way to have boy/girlfriends, unless we're talking Silence of The Lambs here

 

"I like to have my boyfriend parboiled please."

[Paragon]

^^Lol. It is like driving license dear. You gotta be old/handful enough to fit in the driving seat . That makes it legal or illegal. Though the juxiposition of 'kids' and 'marriage', however temporary, gives me a splitting headache. Kids should be acustomed to whipping, not quickies.

[LayZie G.]

Ngonge soo u socday wuxuu keenay inuu dhaho I am for gabadh in lagu daro wiilka yar oo saaxiibkeed, haddabana ay isla seexdaan freely?

 

Ngonge, as a parent, I will bet anything that you will not allow your son or daughter to marry their significant other on a temporary capacity , in the name of shagging.(Dont even try to convince me or anyone else otherwise)

 

I get that you are always defending for the hell of defending(because you like seing yourself in almost every topic), but defending the shia practice inorder to cover your position on this very same topic is just lame, eedo.

 

Come out and defend your position, without you looking for excuse to go off on BOB.

 

BOB made this position on this topic very clear, soo hanoo keenin marmarsiyo meeshaan.

 

If you want to cater to your child and allow him/ her to indulge in haram but yet find ways to cover the haram itself by calling it "temporary nikaax" mut'aa etc, its just ridiculous.

 

Ngonge and poster and your likes, you might want to just allow your children to just have sex with no strings attached, why waste time with bogus marriage?

 

Marrying them off for the hell of having intercourse is just another way of pimping your children.

 

PS: It says alot about once parenting skills.

[Cara.]

Originally posted by Paragon:

^^Lol. It is like driving license dear. You gotta be old/handful enough to fit in the driving seat

. That makes it legal or illegal. Though the juxiposition of 'kids' and 'marriage', however temporary, gives me a splitting headache. Kids should be acustomed to whipping, not quickies.

Hate to break it to you, but kids are a common outcome of marriage. It's marriages and quickies I find to be a funny juxtaposition. And whippings! Whoa nelly, I see what you mean about licensing

 

Layzie, I don't know how you walk around with that humongous chip on your shoulder.

[Khayr]

Originally posted by Naden:

Who cares if a teenager wants to have sex. That's what their hormones are there to do. Plenty of cold showers, full time school, part time job, community work and house chores should take care of that problem. Only an i*diot parent would open a marital home for a child, essentially, so they can bring more children into the world.

 

They can help them with education, trades training or even opening a business at some stage. Unless the parents want to have teens and their babies staying in their homes, with all the privileges of adulthood and none of the responsibilities. Most jobs require people to be at least 18 and with a high school diploma. Not to mention how expensive housing and other living costs have become.

 

Muta'a or halal designation doesn't pay any bills.

So it is a question of financial feasibility?

 

Is Pragmatism the principle that should rule our lives? i.e. if it is impractical, then shun it. Your example is pro-pragmatism.

 

• What about the benefits of strenghtening family unions;

• developing a sense of responsbility in them;
  • protecting them from zina/fornication

;

• Nurturing their healthy minds [

;

• Teaching them life skills and trades

Teenages are very employable albeit at the same time being very disposable- in the sight of employers. They can do part-time work, cash jobs and have community members provide apprenticiships to them.

[NGONGE]

Originally posted by Khalaf:

NG, i don't think google will provide me the daleel that was used from the Quran and Sunnah to arrive at those conclusions, thats why i wanted to understand the ruling. Kinda confused. From what i hear this is practiced largely in the Kingdom and Eygpt and is very popular, because getting married is very expensive, this marraige makes it easier (and both parties agree),the man doesnt have to to live with or financially support the woman, the wife forgoes either her nights or her right to expenditure, this is written in contract. Hmm did nabi scw use written contracts in marriage? What is the definition of marriage in Islamic law is the question? Quran says financial burden is on the men, but if woman agrees she needs no maintance, its okey? I even heard, Sheikh Bin Baz made marriage with intention of divorce/time specfic (like mut’ah marriage of shia's=clear zina haraam no?) halal for students. Allah knows best. but why not tackle the problems of Suadi society for example to make marriage easier, or encourage ppl to marry young? :confused: . But isn't it fair to say, that if someone hears the scholars from mecca (right or wrong in this context), and does have misyer marriage or even muata shia marriage, that they have no blame/sin themselves, but its scholars who carry the burden? That logic is used by some.

 

quote:

---

This brings us to the issue of intention. And, frankly, who is to know the intentions of anyone!

^^^u do, yourself....

It's a confusing world we live in, saaxib. What makes things even more confusing is when I have to argue with you without knowing if you understand the basics or deliberately choose to ignore them. Be that as it may, do you accept the concept of fatwa or don't you? If you do then you'll accept that these scholars have deliberated and reached this fatwa. You'll also agree that (based on their superior knowledge) this fatwa is valid. Still, if you remain unconvinced by it or uncomfortable with it, you are more than free to ignore it. Having said that, this will not change the validity of the fatwa itself. Doubt is good, suspicion is not.

 

It is NOT about what the prophet did or did not do. We are faced daily with new concepts, arguments, situations and problems that the prophet was not faced with in his time. This is where the scholars come in and issue their educated fatwas. These fatwas are legitimate, valid and acceptable in Islam. This is simple stuff, saaxib.

 

Italics girl, I would attempt to pull your hair, call you names and have an online girly fight with you but it would be pointless, my dear. You don't have the attention span to even bother reading the words before you decide to make your assumptions so what really is the point! Go make yourself a nice cup of tea, come back and read my earlier words (slowly), understand them, and then I may bother descending down to your juvenile level of debate.

 

As for others that are talking about sex, boyfriends and girlfriends, my words were clear you illiterate simpletons! This is about MARRIAGE not simple sex or living in sin. And NO, it is not about temporary marriage. As long as the ISLAMIC conditions for marriage are in place it is as valid as that of your/my grandmother and grandfather's one.

 

Maybe I should write this one off as being the result of a long day of fasting. Or maybe I should not and should go into a long lecture about reading and comprehending. Better be charitable (against my better nature) I guess…

[Kool_Kat]

***************THIS MAY OFFEND SOME PEOPLE...IF YOU ARE SENSATIVE, I SUGGEST YOU SKIP THIS POST...***************

 

Originally posted by De novo:

What if we let them marry each other, temporarily, with the consent of their parents with a condition that they stay married until they finish high school and sleep together only during the weekends in one of parents' homes. And that they should only do it using a condom.

ARE YOU K-I-D-D-I-N-G ME!!! You just can not (and I mean can NOT) be serious... Temporarily my a$$ (pardon my French)...What!!!

 

If my teenage son/daughter want to have sex, that's all up to them...All I can do as a parent is teach them right from wrong...You can not control what your teenage child does...They can tell you "I am going to dugsi" and do whatever the hell they want on the way to and back from dugsi...Karbuuno maaka daba wadanee...Hay...Kuwa la celceliyo aaba ugudaran...

 

Besides, how is this gonna work...Your teenage child is gonna come to you and say "Hooyo/Aabe waan qooqay and I want this guy/girl inuu qooqa iga jabiyo"...OR "Hooyo/Aabo aad baad u qooqday, wiilkaan/gabadhaan baan kuugu dareenaa siduu qooqa kaaga jabiyo"...

 

The way I was raised is how I would raise my children...Parenting is all about what you learned from your parents...

[allan]

oh come on Nephthys: i make one reference to sex and every related thread is my doing

 

lol at this thread, so much for keeping our thoughts clean this ramdan

 

so, let me get this st8, we're throw out the idea of marage being sacride and an act of worship and imbrace this liberal view of islam. while we're at it i think i can get some halah pork, any body interested.

 

on the flip side, i know were my next holiday is gona be, iran here i come!

[Khalaf]

Originally posted by NGONGE:

Be that as it may, do you accept the concept of fatwa or don't you?

I don't, and Allah knows best. The reason behind this fatwah’s are as ive heard and Allah knows best, is because marriage is expensive, and two many divorcees/widowed, or elderly women have difficulty in getting married in the kingdom, so this makes it easier for marriages to take place with consent of both parties, basically the wife forfeits her financial rights or other rights, but mainly financial rights. Simple and both parties are cool wit it.

 

Which brings me to your point here:

 

It is NOT about what the prophet did or did not do. We are faced daily with new concepts, arguments, situations and problems that the prophet was not faced with in his time.

I would disagree, its all about what the prophet scw did, and did not do, because he scw is an example for us to follow until the end of time. But you may tell me how in this case marriage or problems that come with getting married is different in nabi scw time and our time as your comment seems to indicate. SO the reason behind this fatwas (marriage is expensive, older women having difficulty to marry) to make misyer marriage halal. Are u saying during the prophets scw time, they didn’t face the same problem as Saudi Kingdom is today with marriages? If you do, as your comment suggests, then please enlighten me.

[roobleh]

Ngonge, as a parent, I will bet anything that you will not allow your son or daughter to marry their significant other on a

temporary capacity

, in the name of shagging.(Dont even try to convince me or anyone else otherwise)

I get that you are always defending for the hell of defending(because you like seing yourself in almost every topic), but defending the shia practice inorder to cover your position on this very same topic is just lame, eedo.

LazyGirl, you must be itching to be in the ring with NGONGE for mud wrestling! I don't like him either, but for different reasons. For one, he's more articulate and famous than me, and I do not like that. But,serously, read his previous arguments. Unlike me, he's not discussing about 'temporary marriage.' And anyone who has an issue with that must be needing badly to have a special tutoring. Because that argument has been settled long time ago.

 

However, there's a room of discussion in my 'temporary marriage' topic. So, let me hear from you now for what you've to say. And hopefully, NGONGE will later change his mind and join you in the ring for the mud smear!

[Som@li]

Guys, let us not live in denial, there are so many teenage kids committing zina and getting shagged by the minute and the parents dont know abt it till it is too late,and the your daughter is pregnant, the poster proposed a solution, which may be, under Misyar or Mut'a, permisable in Islam.

 

If you as parent is in control of your kids and know what they are doing, that is great, and congratualtons.

[Jacaylbaro]

and your point is ?/