roobleh Posted September 21, 2007 Why don't we let our kids to date in their teenage years? What if we let them marry each other, temporarily, with the consent of their parents with a condition that they stay married until they finish high school and sleep together only during the weekends in one of parents' homes. And that they should only do it using a condom. With this, there should be no worry of dropping-out of school because of pregnancy. And after finishing high school, they can upgrade their marriage to a full status or terminate it if they choose to. I believe this will help our kids to date each other legally and reduce to committing a sin! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
- Femme - Posted September 21, 2007 ^are u serious? Temporary marriage...that's not allowed in Islam. Reminds me of the 'halal' dating thread a while back. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baluug Posted September 21, 2007 I have a feeling that our friend is a Somali teenager trying to resist an arranged marriage back home. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
-Lily- Posted September 21, 2007 I can't fully express my disgust at this idea because I'm fasting. Suffice to say restraint is a good quality to have in all things, that's what makes a good Muslim. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NGONGE Posted September 21, 2007 ^^^ Yet the Islamic Fiqh Academy approves Patching up Chastity! Jameel Theyabi Al-Hayat - 19/02/07 When the Saudi media delicately tackled the issue of the Misyar marriage about ten years ago, some Muslim scholars and sheikhs stood firmly against these incoming 'Western' ideas. Some of them issued fatwas forbidding this form of marriage, while others just refused to legitimize it, without even knowing the difficult social conditions and the increasing challenges being faced by Muslim minorities. When this form of marriage became a reality and was declared legitimate by some jurisprudents, Yemeni sheikh Abdel Majid al-Zindani pronounced a fatwa in which he allowed a so-called 'friend marriage'. This sparked fierce controversy around the Arab and Muslim worlds, especially because the sheikh, who is the president of the al-Eman University, persisted with his opinions. He stressed that it was an easy way of marriage, and explained that any boy and girl can be legally married without having to live in the same house. They can temporarily commit themselves to seeing each other then returning to their parents' homes. Under different slogans, al-Zindani's fatwa was met with mixed reactions at the time. Some supported it, while others opposed it. However, the Islamic Sharia managed to beat the traditions during a meeting held by more than 60 Muslim scholars in Mecca on April 12, 2006. On that occasion, the Islamic Fiqh Academy approved mysiar and friend marriages, provided that the basic principles and conditions of marriage were fulfilled and that there were no prohibitions. It now seems that the issue will cause another very sensitive dispute this time, especially after Egypt's mufti sheikh Ali Gomaa came up with very bold opinions about hymenoplasty. Gomaa stressed that Islam dictates that we do not expose others, "which makes it legal for a girl who has lost her virginity, whatever the reason is, to have her hymen repaired, if this will help her safeguard her reputation". Despite the strong opposition to this fatwa, some people support it provided that it meets some Sharia conditions and that the issue is discussed at the jurisdictional level. This fatwa may help many girls, some of whom are repentant while others have lost their virginity because of rape or abduction. In such cases, hymenoplasty would safeguard their reputations and save their lives and futures. Last Friday, February 16, 2007, a Malaysian clergyman proposed something that would take women back to the Middle Ages. Like some European women used to do at the time, he suggested that women wear a chastity belt as a means to protect them from rape. Abu Hassan Din Al-Hafiz, a prominent Muslim cleric from the state of Terengganu, said this belt would make women feel safe and help them avoid any attempted sexual assaults. He was quoted by the "Daily Star" newspaper as saying during a religious lecture: "We have even come across a number of unusual sex cases, where even senior citizens and children were not spared." He also pointed out that "the best way to avert sex offenders is to wear protection". Malaysian women used to put chastity belts on until the mid-1960s. Al-Hafiz's words have infuriated the Malaysian women and brought them to describe what he said as "nonsense". I hope the Islamic Fiqh Academy will discuss the possibility of allowing a woman to patch up her hymen and issue a clear fatwa about this topic. I also hope that not everyone will be allowed to issue fatwas about thorny and very sensitive issues. The Muslim nation's scholars and jurisprudents have to conduct more research and studies about what women are and are not allowed to do, while taking into account the principle of their reputation if their repentance is proved or if they have been raped or abducted. Source Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Posted September 21, 2007 Two issues here,One of a temporary marriage other of teenage marriages. I believe the Shia's do practise temporary marriages which is called Mut'a,this is were there is a difference with the Sunni teachings,the Sunni authorities agree that mut'a was permitted by the Prophet at certain points during his lifetime, but they maintain that in the end he prohibited it completely. Couple of months ago I attended a friends daughter engagement party,her daughter is 16/17,her fiance was 18/19.At first I thought she was joking,but apparently in their community[Pakistani/Indian] its the norm,and has worked for her and many others in their community.The reason is to eliminate any fusuuq that young people might find them selves engaging in.The daughter is still in school,but sees her husband during the weekend untill they finish University ,when they can move in together. I believe its widely practised in Egypt too.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms DD Posted September 21, 2007 What if the girl becomes pregnant? There is something fishy about this whole temporary marriages. It doesnt feel right. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Resistance Posted September 21, 2007 'Inamal Acmaala Bi Niyah' everthing is but intentions. If a couple wanted to get Meher but choose to live in their repsective parents' homes while they persue their studies/or become financially sound Islam has no problems with and in fact is encroughed. but if the intentions of the Meher is purely to make the Zina halaal and have no intentions of remaining husband and wife for the forseeable future then they only fooling themselves as Allah is the all knower. Allah Waclum. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NGONGE Posted September 21, 2007 ^^^^ I think you'll probably find that most teenagers have the intention of staying with each other forever and ever and ever. Because they love each other so so much and they are meant for each other and they know that by the fact that when the boy lifts his right eyebrow the girls lifts her left eyebrow... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
-Lily- Posted September 21, 2007 ^LoL , only problem is when the fast, fun loving crazy 18 year old boy decides to grow into a calm, quiet, routine & comfort loving young man and his teenage bride decides she has developed causes, ambitions and wants to free and protect endangered spices wherever they may be found on the planet. The danger of getting married before knowing oneself is that these new people who emerge might not necessary get along or have similar goals, but how we love to overlook the obvious. I agree with Resistance, it shouldn't be given a special name if it's just a case of youngsters getting married. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BOB Posted September 21, 2007 If their parents are Shia...they wont have any problem with the idea as Shias have been doing it for ages and their girls normally 'marry' every guy they feel something for and as soon as the guy fails to show her the stars and the moon...off he goes and she sets her sights on the next guy who's potentially capable of showing her the stars in the light of the day...and they call it Mut'a or 'Mudhca'... Marka...Would anyone in here want his/her daughter to marry every "boyfriend" she has...because how many boyfriends does the average girl has in her life-time before she finally marries one out of desperation and not love after she realises that she's into her mid 30's? This whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing is MONKEY BUSINESS and it's not something that a Muslim person should even contemplate on...and Islam doesn't allow such corrupt marriage. Salam Aleikum W.W Peace, Love & Unity. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Posted September 21, 2007 Originally posted by *BOB: Marka...Would anyone in here want his/her daughter to marry every "boyfriend" she has...because how many boyfriends does the average girl has in her life-time before she finally marries one out of desperation and not love after she realises that she's into her mid 30's? Some assumptions you make there,the generalisation is a tad bit off putting.I am assuming your talking of a Muslim girl,then during her life time as unmarried woman she shouldnt have boyfriend in the first place.If your talking about those childish,love affair,were little notes and giggles are exchanged ,am sure thats not the kind of boyfriend/girlfriend the poster was aiming at. Second what is this about desparation? Under which constitution,it says a woman in her 30's or 40's,whom want to get married is desparate? :confused: Anyways let me not vent my hunger on you..sorry! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted September 21, 2007 ^^^I second that Khaina. BOB 30 is not old for a women, what world do you live in. In fact why would any women marry before hitting 30?? she needs to live life first Loool @ De nova. I agree it is a good idea kids these days cannot possible have ANY self control. :rolleyes: Shia's are big on this idea and some Arabs as well, If it was legal it would have been an idea (not sure good or bad- depends on how you use it and abuse it really) It would certainly get around the whole mahram idea that holds us women hostage when we want to go travelling. I'm think convenience marriage are hmmm (convenient..can't think of a better word), but again it is not allowed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nephissa Posted September 21, 2007 Lilly: Absolutely true. Personality and goals not fully shaped @ 14-18, not even 20. It may cause them later resentment or sadness, sense of loss at not having an independent life before commiting to the puppy-love marriage. Why don't we let our kids to date in their teenage years? What if we let them marry each other, temporarily, with the consent of their parents with a condition that they stay married until they finish high school and sleep together only during the weekends in one of parents' homes. And that they should only do it using a condom. With this, there should be no worry of dropping-out of school because of pregnancy. And after finishing high school, they can upgrade their marriage to a full status or terminate it if they choose to. I believe this will help our kids to date each other legally and reduce to committing a sin! Someone please tell me this is not fat boy.. . Even if it was permitted in Islam, I wouldn't allow it, not in my house anyways or the other parents house. Nope, my child is not getting screwed both literally and figuratevely by a temp or long term halal shag-mate before they're 30 [period] This is beyond disgusting. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
-Lily- Posted September 21, 2007 Originally posted by Nephthys: halal shag-mate LooooooooL That's the funniest thing I've heard in a while... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
