Dialects of the world.

[Liqaye]

*************Here is a news flash.***************

 

 

A terrible diet and room with no ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man killed by his own gas. There were no marks found on his body, but an autopsy revealed the presence of large amounts of methane dissolved in his blood.

 

His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage, just the right combination of foods to produce a severe gas attack. It appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed.

 

Had his windows been open, the flatulence wouldn't have been fatal, but the man was shut up in a nearly airtight bedroom. He was an obese man with an unlimited capacity for creating the deadly gas. Three rescuers became sick and one was hospitalized.

 

How it was reported in doen south red neck america:

 

A terrible diet an' room wif no ventilashun is bein' blamed fo' th' death of a man killed by his own gas. Thar were no marks foun' on his hide, but an autypsy revealed th' presence of large amounts of methane dissolved in his blood, cuss it all t' tarnation. His diet had cornsisted primarily of beans an' cabbage, jest th' right combinashun of grubs t'prodooce a sevahe gas attack. Shet mah mouth! It appears thet th' man died in his sleep fum breathin' th' poisonous cloud thet was hangin' on over his bed, cuss it all t' tarnation. Had his windows been open, th' flatulence'dn't haf been fatal, but th' man was shet up in a nearly airtight bedroom, dawgone it. He was an obese man wif an unlimited capacity fo' creatin' th' daidly gas. Three rexcuers became sick an' one was horspitalized, cuss it all t' tarnation.

 

This is how it was reported in cockney london:

 

A terrible diet and room wiv no ventilation are bein' blamed for the deaff of a man killed by 'is own gas. There were no marks found on 'is body, but an autopsy revealed the bleedin' presence of large amounts of methane dissolved in 'is blood. His diet 'ad consisted primarily of beans and cabbage, right, just the bleedin' right combination of foods ter produce a severe gas attack. It appears that the bloody man died in 'is sleep from breafink the poisonous cloud that were 'angin' over 'is bed. Had 'is windows been open, the bleedin' flatulence wouldn't 'ave been fatal, but the bloody man were button it in a nearly airtight bedroom. He were an obese man wiv an unlimited capacity for creatin' the deadly gas. Free rescuers became sick and one were 'ospitalized

 

 

This was how it was reported in the weekly news paper DUMB AND DUMBER of wisconsin morons helpers association (motto: Morons in need are googogaga..)

 

A tehriggle diet 'n room wid no bentilashun are beigg blamid f' the, uhhh, dead of a man killid by his own gas. Dehe webuhre no marks found on his body, but an autopsy rebealid de presess of large amounts of medane dissolbid in his blood. His diet had consistid primary of beans 'n cabbage, uh uh uh, dgust de rite combinashun of foods t' produce a sebehe gas attack. It appears dat de man diid in his sleep from breadigg de poisonous cloud dat was hangigg obeh his bed. Uhhh.... Had his winblows been open, the, uh uh uh, flatuless wuddn't habe been fatal, but de man was shut up in a near airtite bedroom. Lee me lone!He was an obese man wid an unlimitid capacity f' cratigg the, uhhh, dead gas. Duh.Dree rescuehs became sick 'n one was hospitalized