Apparently I’m going to hell?

[Chocolate and Honey]

Here is the short version of the situation. There is a relative of mine who is married to a man who is no good. She used to send him insane amount of money when he was in Africa, then she brought him and his two children (whom he snatched from his Ex) here. She has kids on her own who he physically and mentally abused. She is financially responsible for everything even though he drives a cab. He says he doesn’t make more than the couple of hundreds he sends to him mother back home. Fine! It was her bussiness! So this supposedly poor man decided to take off with another woman. His wife refused to believe her husband would do such thing and was in denial for a couple of years. Then one day she asked him and he said yes. He MARRIED another woman. Then packed his stuff and left to live with his new wife. The first wife was beside herself. He left his two children with her and no matter how many mean relatives came to her and told her to throw his children out on the street, she refused because these babies were snatched from their mother. And she is the only mother they know so she refused to send them to someone else. So a couple of years later (he was living the building right across hers all this time) she decided to seek divorce.

So she goes to the masjid and tells them. The sheikh calls the man and tells him his wife wants a divorce. The man says he has no intention of divorcing this woman and that he wants her back. So he starts calling the house yada yada. Then, the sheikhs this time turns around and says this to the woman “this is not a justifiable reason to seek divorce. Your husband has a right to marry as many as four wives. And whatever else he did he is still your husband and as long as you’re married to him you have wifely duties you need to fulfill or you’ll go to hell.Divorce is karahiyo please consider him” Then the usual iska daa, ilaahay baa kaaga aarayo aakhiro iyo asagay danbi ku tahay insues. They didn’t stop there, now they are harassing her, coming to the house unannounced all hours of the day and night for dacwa on xaqa ninka iyo naagta ka dhaxeeyo!!! There are kids in the house!

So, the other night I was picking up my mom from the house and who do I see? Yeah! They know my mom and they ask me to talk some sense into my aunt. So I tell them off! And we get into it. I ask him what makes them fit to judge this man is a good husband. Do they even know the man they're backing up? This lady works all night cleaning toilets to support her two kids and HIS two kids. WTF? :confused: Why would you use ALLAH to force a woman to be with a man? He then tells me “this is what’s wrong with dumarka Somalida today, ignoring the Sharia and following dhaqan gaalo where people decide on emotions. Ilaahay ka cabso and gurigan ha duminina. Sheydaan kaliya ayaa kala geeyo nin iyo naagtiisa! Hadii kale cadaabtaad u socotaa!!!!”

:confused: :confused:

[Maaddeey]

^Iyada lee tartiib wax ugu sheeg, nimanka dadoow maxaa gorodda kuu geliyey? iyadaa raadsatay maaha?.

 

Haddeysan rabin cid ku qasbi karta maleh! go'aan lee ha qaadato, haddii sida aad sheegaysid run tahay anaa KITAABKAAS u haayo

[Castro]

Why would you use ALLAH to force a woman to be with a man?

Standard operating procedure. There's no bigger authority to appeal to.

 

Ilaahay ka cabso and gurigan ha duminina. Sheydaan kaliya ayaa kala geeyo nin iyo naagtiisa! Hadii kale cadaabtaad u socotaa!!!!”

LOOOL. Classic.

[Abtigiis]

He, not she is going to the Cadaab. she is already in it!

[Chocolate and Honey]

Iyada lee tartiib wax ugu sheeg, nimanka dadoow maxaa gorodda kuu geliyey? iyadaa raadsatay maaha?.

 

Haddeysan rabin cid ku qasbi karta maleh! go'aan lee ha qaadato, haddii sida aad sheegaysid run tahay anaa KITAABKAAS u haayo

Aniga cidna ma raadsan, THEY talked to me like I was the one making her leave :confused: Either way it is HER decision. She is qof weyn so I never, EVER had a conversation with her about her husband. But now she is fed up and she decided to leave on her own but when you hold HELL over someone's head, it has an impact especially if the said person doesnt know the Sharia

[-Lily-]

I blame the woman and she deserves what she gets.

[Hassan_B]

Only Allah knows who is going to paradise or hell.

[Chocolate and Honey]

I blame the woman and she deserves what she gets.

Lily, it is not about blame hun. I'm just outraged that the "Culima"(people I respected oo quraanka i baray)would do such thing to a woman. Isnt this abuse of one's authority? :mad: :mad: :mad:

[-Lily-]

^^ Peace of mind, some shreds of remaining dignity. Better mental health?

 

C&H, of course it’s an outrage. EDIT: forget the imam, I believe you need two witnesses, end of story. It’s a basic human instinct to change that which is causing you difficulties.

 

Secondly, your house is your own space, wacdigooda banaka ha la joogan?

 

I don’t understand why one would wait a couple of years either, it's a sort of acceptance of the situation. This mentality that divorce is worse than death is a sickness amongst Somali women, hence why so many of them accept the unacceptable.

 

In any case, Ilahey ha u sahlo.

[Naden]

First order of business, she needs to return those 2 children to the woman from whom they were snatched. The birth mother should have her children back.

 

Now for payback, this is what happens when you shack up with a low-down, dirty b@stard. What is she doing going to a sheikh and shoving religion into this matrimonial mess? If she really wanted a divorce, she would simply make his life hell and drop off the first couple of kids at the new hag's place. He would divorce her before her child-kidnap-condoning behind sat back on the sofa.

 

Sharia can't fix this mess but a metal-covered Quran can be used to beat both of them on the head till they bleed.

 

Edit: Oh shidh, C&H, I didn't realize she was a relative May the forces be with her. About the imams, that's what some of them do, peddle rotten goods to unsuspecting people.

[Chocolate and Honey]

C&H, of course it’s an outrage. If the Imam is not doing his job, find another mosque. It’s every Muslims duty to seek knowledge, you don’t just leave it up to others who hold positions of responsibility. Even if you don’t know anything it’s a basic human instinct to change that which is causing you difficulties.

 

Secondly, your house is your own space, wacdigooda banaka ha la joogan?

 

Well it is not my place to seek Imams for her. I hinted at her to talk to different people about it. She'll have to do the digging and fight for her divorce.

Yeah, what f-ed me up was their audacity to come to the house EVERY night for dacwa! I mean, she has HIS two kids in the house. She cant even say sh!t about him infront of the kids.

I wouldnt have got involved had THEY not involved me. I mind my own bussiness.

[Khayr]

I see now, some of your insecurities are being shown in this thread.

 

Why don't you move this to the women's section since it is a thread about 'dead beat hubby's and the 'hard working somali women'.

 

emotions are high, nancy grace and oprah are on!

[Sherban Shabeel]

Seems like anyone can become a sheikh these days. Abusing children, not sustaining your wife financially, and practically deserting her to spend your life with the new wife, AREN'T grounds for divorce??? Lord preserve us!

[Paragon]

C&H: Apparently I'm going to hell?'

You are? Is it confirmed? Well, hey, safe journey.

[Maxaatiri]

We're all going to hell at this rate.

 

Her mistake was going to a 'traditional' sheikh, a real sheikh would have offered some sort of counselling for her and would have reminded the man about the rights of women in Islam, in particular that of treating co-wives equally. What a load of rubbish his advice was!

 

P-S - The kids have a dad, and islamically it is HIS duty to support those kids, malahaa thats how he 'kidnapped' them in the first place. Where is the Sheikhs advice to the man about looking after his bloody kids?