Who should be higher in education!!!!

[Charisma]

Salaam to all my bros n sisters,

first of all i would like to express my fondness of this website, thnx to everyon ewho worked n patcipated in it being here.

 

My question is to u to all the somali guys n gals, who do u want to be more educated ,u or ur spouse !

i dont mean disrespect but its a simple question, after all in marrraige compatibilty is essential in everything or almost in many things n Education is one of them.

 

am looking forward to ur answers

peace.

[Strawberry_Xu]

I know a lot of people would say that in this day and age, it is more preferable that both partners have a degree. I agree too. However, it takes an exceptionally open-minded man (and some in cases, woman) for equality in a relationship to work.

 

In my case, though I want to get a degree and a well-paying job, on principle I'd want my husband to be slightly more educated and have a higher income than me. Not because I expect my husband fund my irrationally lavish lifestyle or anything, but because I think he might want to, even if he can't. It's hard enough trying to maintain a relationship, without the man feeling threatened by his partner.

 

I think it has something to do with male pride, an attribute that has been nurtured from an early age, by films, books, society etc., that the man has to be the dominant element in a relationship. I don't think many men can cope with having a wife who's more successful and more educated. I women in general, or me in particular, aren't too fussed whether he's more or less intelligent (as long as he's adequately educated), so we tend to lean towards compromise on this matter, for the sake of peace. At least I would, I think.

 

Also, there is a part of me that likes to learn, I've always liked to be around people who were much smarter than I was. So I guess I'd want the kind of husband who could supply me with ceaseless intellectual stimulation.

 

However, just as a man might be threatened by a successful wife, a man might also be more patronising to a partner who's not as educated or well-off. I think in order to maintain a balance, the wife should be sufficiently educated and enterprising. This way she can hold her own in arguments and the decision making processes, and be an active part of the relationship.

[Charisma]

Thanx dear for ur reply Xu,

coz i think if the woman is more educated she can be either arrogant in treating her husband or she will feel guilty coz she is more educated than him, trying to be sensitive n all .

Besides wt about the children , although i know many uneducated ppl who had done alot so that their children would get better chances, but there are many ppl (husbands or wives) who would go like I DID NOT FINISH MY EDUCATION , AND AM FINE....

 

that is my opinion, with all do respect to others

[Thinkerman]

Interesting Prespective Xu.

 

On the other side of the Coin Charisma, if she is educated and trully "Intelligent" then she can only be an assest for her husband.

[Nomad_sinorita]

charisma, great topic sis!

 

xu, u said it all sis, i totally agree.

 

there is this idea that society has built in us, which is basically the guy provides 4 the family. but, on the other hand...if the woman was more educated than the man, it could still work.

 

I think it all depends on the individuals themselves. Certain people can handle such things quite well, some on the other hand might feel a little patronised...and use it against the woman.

 

Anyway, i can't speak for everyone here, but personally, i think education is really important..and as a young woman i'm already finding out how much in common i have with my fellow educated brothers...i mean even with the level of conversations and sense of understanding!

 

bck to your q charisma...wud i like my man to be more educated...Yes i would...!

[Charisma]

Well thanx again for sharing ur ideas, i appreciate them all.

 

To reply to my bro here, its true that when the woman is educated she will help her husband as well as her children.

 

but really guys think those ladies who r educated are just too much, n think too highly of themselves.....

well sue me coz i have parents who think education is importnat.

 

i had seen how education affects the thinking n how u communicate with ppl. although we have our share of educated ppl but they not enough we need more.

 

 

Again that is my opinion, tell me URS!

[Viking]

I think it has something to do with male pride, an attribute that has been nurtured from an early age...I don't think many men can cope with having a wife who's more successful and more educated.

Xu,

Pride is something only worthy of Allah SWT and any human with pride will be denied the fruits of Paradise. Our Noble Prophet SAWS was married to Kahdija daughter of Khuwaylid(may Allah bless her), who was at that time one of the richest (some say the richest) persons in Arabia. This didn't intimidate the Prophet SAWS at all, and if you take off her wealth, one cannot tell how the poor Muslims' lives would have been sustained. Her contribution to Islam (both monetary and other forms of support she gave the Prophet SAWS) is recognized by Muslims worldwide.

 

Charisma,

If a man and woman live according to the teachings of the Prophet SAWS, then it shouldn't matter who is wealthier or more learned.

[Sophist]

"Higher Education" is overrated.

[Charisma]

viking,

Its true wt u said , n islam is way of life and everything was given in Quran, but we r talking about the compatibilty and i dont think islam is against it. get me a verse that says otherwise.

 

 

Sophist

You r right higher education might not be THE thing here, but hey as far as i many somalis finished school( still true till this day) let alone university education.

So bro i know higher education means post gradute studies or PhD but in our case, basic education is higher education ( school n undergraduate)

 

peace.

[silent-sistah]

XU, u said it all for me aswell,

 

i preffer the man to be better educated than me, i mean, i think it would affect his self-esteem if i had higher education and a better paid job than he did,,,,thats like all his manhood gone out the window. (i wouldnt complain if he spoilt me rotten) and if he preffered being a house-husband, thats all good with me...but i just dont see that in a somali guy....(nor would i want to see it!)

[x_quizit]

Viking, well said bro, I wish more ppl thought that way....

 

In the time and places where we live, its vital for both to have an education, but if we look in the long run, provided the couple stays together, when kids come into the picture, for at least the first few yrs of their lives, the mother would most likely be home with them, therefore, the man needs to have a great education and job to feed his family since for a time, he will be the sole provider. If we look at the flip side, let's say the marriage doesn't work or she's widowed, and the mother is left to take care of her kids, if she didn't pursue higher education in her younger days, then she would be hard pressed to feed and clothe her kids decently, therefore, it is also vital for the woman to look to higher education as well. Moral of my diatribe, higher education benefits both and the kids as well, and is a security blanket that is there to be utilized whenever the need arises.

 

Some men are threatened by a woman with higher education than themselves, and that is solely because they feel inadequate when it comes to providing for their family, when compared to her salary, let's say its higher. Therefore, some look towards women who have attained less than them, hence, making them feel more of a man and provider since they don't have to compare salaries. I'm happy to see that many young men in our society have taken education more seriously, although in some cases, the sisters outnumber the men in university, but all the same, I'm glad they are looking towards the future and their responsibilities.

 

Personally, I think both couples should match as well as possible in their education levels, at least some post secondary, and if one has attained more than that, bravo to them, it only benefits the family as a whole in the future.

 

p.s.-i had a friend tell me he couldn't date or even think of marrying a girl he liked because she had higher education than him, and it made him feel inadequate as a husband not to be making as much as she.

 

Peace

[Sincere]

A solid education does not necessarily equate intelligence or future success. Many a successful man/woman do not have degrees, and were high school drop-outs. This affirms the premise that "education is not limited to the boundaries of a classroom" A diploma only guarantees the probability of getting a higher income/better job than someone who doesn’t have one.(and this is arguable)

 

He was so learned that he could name a horse in nine languages; so ignorant that he bought a cow to ride on.

Benjamin Franklin.

[Charisma]

To discreet

Well i agree with u that u can be educated and still be ignorant.This was mentioned in the Quran also and Allah considers ppl who are educated but r ignorant when it comes to any other aspect of life other than the area of domination.

So yes u should not be ignorant, but then u cant say that school education or diploma or even a degree is not important, cos u dont go to school just cos u want to earn more , but to improve urself everyday.

N did u know that (ilm or education is cibaada too)

 

n plz dont tell ur kids to wt u just told us, education is important whether u get a flashy job or not.

 

Peace

[Faheema.]

Originally posted by Discreet1:

"Education is not limited to the boundaries of a classroom"

Most definitely, one can be “educated†without setting a foot in a Institution of higher education, because I honesty believe self education is the most important, as you have the ability to advance in any endeavor.

 

However, as humans, we are all influenced by what we see and often this dictates how we conduct ourselves. Furthermore, the values and practices of contemporary society says that we must be "Educated" in order to succeed in life, thus making education the essential tool to survive.

 

Originally posted by Viking:

If a man and woman live according to the teachings of the Prophet SAWS, then it shouldn't matter who is wealthier or more learned.

I couldn’t agree with you more. Lakiin with the kind of mentality some of our Somali brothers have it is almost impossible because Dhaqan usually supersedes Diin when it comes to these issues. Moreover, gender refers to society's expectations about how we should think and act as men and woman. For example, women, in our culture, are expected to be obedient housewives while, the men are expected to be the breadwinners.

 

Personally, I don't mind…as long as we both understand each other. However, he must be more educated when it comes to the knowledge of Diin.

[Sincere]

Walaal Charisma, you misconstrued my post. As for my future brats, rest assured they will be engrossed in books.

 

Furthermore, the values and practices of contemporary society says that we must be "Educated" in order to succeed in life, thus making education the essential tool to survive.

I agree that mainstream society narrates that “education†is the key to success. But there is a key element that many fail to realize. Success is like a formula, and all elements are required for it to happen. Hard Work is the key element to success. The “education†opens the door for you to a plethora of opportunities, but its hard work and Allah’s will that will make you succeed. That formula minus “education†has worked for the less learned people.

 

Personally I could care less. Education when selecting a spouse, is not a factor I put much weight on. There are others that take precedence