Malika Posted August 19, 2008 They say,shiiid happen,this is definetly shiid hitting the fan for the woman left holding the baby alone and shamed.Well,never agree to marry in secret,there is a reason why one cant marry without walli,not because the man would be asked to pay for a lavish wedding or whatever its all to do with such an incident. The poor woman,she totally miscalculated the situation,the dude was looking for a xalaal affair,not a second wife and hell not another kid! A lesson learned a hard way for her now,and I hope it will be a lesson for all other women whom get lead to these kind of arrangements without thinking of the consequencies or a long term plan. Anywho,these kind of arrangement do happen,but usually when a pregnancy come along they tend to owe to being married this guy is definetly a saqajaan/nacaas aa.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted August 19, 2008 ^^How can she be suprised that she is pregnant? :confused: That is not miscalculating, that is stupi*dnimo. Somali people are so strange. If that was the case, WHY did he not insist/ and plan for NOT having children. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Posted August 19, 2008 ^LOL. It's not only Somalis that find themselves in these predicaments.What this case has highlighted is a practise done and has been done even way before.Marrying in secret and only when one gets pregnant did they used to mention they were married. She did miscalculate,she assumed by having a kid she will consumate the marriage,only too istupidh to know he wasnt looking for wife per say but a lover on the side. Allah,maxaa raag somali sugeysaa,their abuse of single mothers.. :mad: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted August 19, 2008 ^^^^I don't think she has anyone to blame but herself Malika. Iyaad aya number waaxid stupi*d ah. No one abused her, iyaad aya iis abuse garesey. :mad: she has no sense, what is she going to raise her children with if she is so naca*s. :confused: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Posted August 19, 2008 ^Ibti,we will never know her side of the story nor his,anywho she is a human being,there are moments of weakness in all of us,unfortunate for her the price she is going to pay will impact on her kids too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SayidSomal Posted August 19, 2008 ^^^i think you have been to harsh on the woman - she has part blame - not all the blame. what is worst the man denying the whole thing or the mistakes of the woman in agreeing to the whole in the first place? Edit: plus she saved a life by not agreeing to the abortion. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted August 19, 2008 Malika: I can have moments of weakness I agree, that is okay, but seems like she had months if not a full year of weakness. EVEN in your moments of weakness what ever actions you take, sadly you have to bare the consequence and only have yourself to blame. May Allah make it easy for her. I guess it is all a test. Sayid the abortion was not even a option, there is no credit for doing what she is suppose to do. :rolleyes: The guy we all already agreed waa saqajaan. Even worse he was a stupi*d saqajaan. At least he could've planned better. I just don't think her judgement was much better though. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Posted August 19, 2008 ^Amiin,indeed it is a test for her and a lesson for others. Somalidu wexee iradaan,"waax laaqariyo quruun baa kujiraa" never agree to anything secret,hear girls! It wasnt me lee nikaa kaharee,shaggy's song comes to mind..nacaas foqol nacaas. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted August 19, 2008 ^^^Why walk in the dark, when you can walk in the spot light. Then juuq juuq maa jirto. Even if you are going to run away together. Tell everyone in advance WE are running away together, and then take the main road not the luuq luuq. What the hell is all this sneaking around like a thief? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SayidSomal Posted August 19, 2008 saqajaan What? do you mean the saqajaan that was on sol? Seriously thought - i think the woman has done everthing right after the initial mistake of going along with the secrecy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nuune Posted August 19, 2008 Luuq luuq maroow laazim laamigaas ku soo dhacaa, dalaq, MMA, widaaw, sheekada dhameestir mee u baahantahay, maybe her side of story Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Posted August 19, 2008 Ibti, Thats why there are laws placed in Islam,but do we follow them,Nah!.Also there must have been witnesses to this marriage,where is the marriage certificate?..It doenst add up this story but nevertheless,she is in deep shiid! Oh,its also common knowledge men pry on vulnerable women,when she is feeling insecured,unloved,uncertain they come with their gun loaded full of bull shiid,and the poor woman just melts amidst that shiid..Heh , I am assuming he sold her some story or another.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted August 19, 2008 ^^^Well Not really. Does it really matter?? :confused: Clearly he is a waste and she should get on with her life and learn from it. She and the child are better off without him. She should bury the whole thing, forget trying to prove anything [she can only prove HE is the father with a DNA, not that he married her] move on, and re-start, alhumdulilah it was not totally wasted, she has a child out of it. P.s. Can you imagine telling that child, well first your dad tried to kill you, THEN he denied he fathered you. shiid. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Posted August 19, 2008 ^It does matter when you understand the psycology behind people's actions,it sure helps to clear the picture..Anywho,vulnerable or not she is unfortuante is left to hold the baby and humiliated in public by his denial. The poor child ,she need to move away and leave the matters to Allah,as Allah knows best! Isagaa lee marqatii kaa ahay this situation. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted August 19, 2008 ^^^You know somalis, Kitaab ka Quran ka aya gacant loo saaray, that is their DNA. I think the whether the picture is cleared or not, people will just stuck on what happened, so I don't think it will make a big difference in her life. She will always be the one who married and then laa daafirey. I really she needs a change in environment, where everyone is not up in her business. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites