Half selfish rant....

[Didi Kong]

Xalimo only you know what is more important to you. Pick that but don't jump on it thinking of it as an excuse to delay your former plans. When you have choices the most important thing is to assess them equally and not use the more viable option as an excuse to avoid the other choice. Because it might so happen that you'll discover later on down the road that, that someone/something wasn't the more important option. Basically choose in a way that you will be free of regrets later on.

 

PS Mantra it's so cute you gave 2 years of your life for your family. I hope they are worth it j/k.

[Legend of Zu]

Xaliimopatraay,

 

Well..I can assume a lot of reasons why someone would be in the situation you mentioned above... but to ask someone to make a sacrifice like that it can only come from Family or a farax - potential Mr Xaliimopatra .

 

Firstly, If I start with the assumption of Farax being the one to put you in the situation - then I will say the following:-

 

When you decide to join someone's life plan (btw you both joining each other's life plans meaning there will be sacrifices from both sides)…The concept of "I" somehow takes the back seat and "we" is your frontbencher. saying that, I would say don't do things that will sew the seeds of bitterness in your heart that is something u feel inside you shouldn't have done it but you would do it anyway because you convinced yourself it is worth it and later on every step on the way you will remember specially when you upset which of course you then remind him of your sacrifices and that would lead to you to question whether it was all worth it.

 

In a nut shell, I am saying your consideration should be about the bigger picture and understand your plans are not changing because someone desired it or it suited someone else’s life ambitions but the core reason of changing your plan is the fact that you are achieving bigger and better i.e. regardless of the setback, the change of plan should give you a better outcome otherwise it is not worth doing!

 

Secondly; if it is family that asked depending of the severity of the situation, I say you should sacrifice two years of your life for them – cause Allah knows how many sacrifices they have done from the day they got you

 

 

Cheers

 

PS: disclaimer when i wrote this I was under the influence of time pressure

[Zafir]

Yada Yada Yada, Do what feels right.

[Legend of Zu]

^^^^ then she is doomed!

[Buuxo]

xalimopatra, is it a case of Mr right coming at the wrong time ??? well best of luck sis, i hate any changes so im not one to give advice.

[Valenteenah.]

Ah, yes, Xaliimopatra, it sounds like you have been Faraxised.

 

Lovely Xaliimo, life isn't static, it's very fluid and it moves at a rate that makes your head spin. So you always have to be prepared to bend and twist your plans, targets and goals to fit in with whatever it throws at you.

 

If you are not able to take the straight path you devised for yourself, try to see if there is another route that may take you away from your preferred one but which will wind back to your original path further on. There is always a chance that you will find a different but equally successful path to your goals.

 

It's never Do or Don't. Nothing is that black or white. Like previous nomads have suggested, take a step back and try to evaluate your situation from a neutral position. Find out if there are other ways of reaching your goals, without losing too much time, if you take up the offered proposal.

 

Often, you'll be able to reach a compromise you are comfortable with. However, if after all the assessments it looks like it just won't work out to your favour or in your own interests, then you might have to put yourself first (if you don't, no one else will).

 

My input. Hope it all makes sense.

[-Lily-]

Xalimo,

 

I think this 'other' option that is delaying you must be important for you otherwise you would not have considered it. AS long as you know where you're going, slowing down isn't the end of the world, you might get some new perspective along the way and experience another things you might have not if you had followed the original route. It's a matter of which route to take not where you end up,It's not like you're changing your plan is it? Relax and be spontanious, life never works out exactly how you plan it anyways...

 

p.s. if it's a Farax he better be worth it.

[Xalimopatra]

Thanks all,Walle to all of you that had the patience to reply back I thank you all.

 

Val lol@ Faraxised.Naa I've said it once and I'll say it again....Men/Boys are ceeb

 

Kimiya sound advice walaashiis.I will pray Insha'Allah as hooyo always prays 2 rakhas before she decides on something.There is nothing stopping me walle and Allah SWT knows best.

[BOB]

Originally posted by Kimiya:

I also find praying istikhaara to be extremely effective.

Salam Aleikum W.W

 

 

Absolutely spot on there my sister Kimiya...

these days it seems we take Istikhara for granted...and worse, many Muslims don't even know about it.

 

 

Salam Aleikum W.W

 

 

Peace, Love & Unity.

[Blessed]

I’ve only discovered istikhaara a few years ago myself. But honestly, it’s the best discovery I’ve made. I’ve might have ended up marrying a jaajuus if I didn’t consult with Allah.

 

Mantras, what kind of signs were you expecting?

 

From what I’ve read, when you pray for guidance towards what is khayr for you with right attitude [i.e suppressing your own inclinations and having complete conviction that Allah will respond] then Allah will respond by making the path to the route, which brings you the most khayr easier for you or you may stumble upon information that you didn’t have before. It may not necessarily be what you were inclined towards.

 

I remember praying istikhaara when I was torn between returning to work or not. About two weeks later out of the blue a lady from an organization that I’ve never heard of called saying that they had vacancies; someone gave her my details would I be interested. I didn’t take the job because we moved but I was like – wow! Even my current job found me.

 

Xaliimopatra,

May Allah it easy for you. All the best!