Xalimopatra Posted March 2, 2007 Ok so we all have our dreams,plans and hopes.... So you spend your time trying to create what YOU want much to the approval of a great family/friend(s) support network... Then someone or something comes along and makes you reassess what looked like a seemingly straight forward plan.Sacrifices from your part are looming,a 360 degree turn happens in what seems like a split second and as much as you want to have your cake and eat it your dreams will be so much longer for YOU to achieve.Have you ever felt stuck in between a dhagax iyo meel adeyg like that....? How far do you agree with the quote "Something worth having is worth working hard for"? When you've been in a bubble of certainty your whole life uncertainty is a biij..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms DD Posted March 2, 2007 Salaam In my life, it seemed that i had work extra hard for what i acheived. It isnt much honestly, but waa la iga matajiyaa. This is good in a way cos you tend to appreciate it more and hold on to it. But if it is easy come, easy go, life will let you down somewhere down the line. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
STOIC Posted March 2, 2007 It is widely believed that we as a people accepts inner responsibilities for our behavior when we think that we have chosen to perform in the absence of outside pressure. When we feel that it is our life that we are making choice for we become more committed to our desires and goals, but when someone or something else is pressuring us to do something then the commitment factor is out of the door. I guess it all depends first if we are content with our choices without seeking social approval. If for any reasons to begin with you acted on others approval then if someone comes to sway your thoughts and goals it would be easy to let it go. Depending on your motives for your goals nothing should change your mind if you set to accomplish something. Now am not saying that you become a thick headed ,yes there will always be apart of your choice that might be viewed as a mistake by others, but the static can only affect you when you were not focused on your goal to begin with. If the validity of your goal is so convincing to you, go ahead and achieve it without listening to Xaawo and Abdi. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms DD Posted March 2, 2007 Growing up is learning curve for all of us. Opinions and thoughts tend to change as we experience life. I also tend to ask other people's (like parents, professors at school)opinions as they have had a lot more experience in life than me. No doubt they will be looking to influence your decision, but ultimately, it is your own decision to make when you measure the pros against cons. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted March 2, 2007 "Something worth having is worth working hard for"? I totally agree and thats what keeps me going when i feel like giving up. Can i just add that you will never please everyone, family or friends, no matter how hard you try, you will always just miss the mark so my best advise to you is do what you think is right at all times. If you are confused about what is right or there are a number of right things to do then go for the one that causes you the least problems and stress. Obviously life is not that simple and emotions are hard to control and their will always be an element of i want to please my mum/ dad/ husband/ friends etc, so set your self a goal, a target, something beyond all this that you can walk towards. cheers Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xalimopatra Posted March 2, 2007 STOICI agree,but first things first.IF I choose to accept the 2nd party's proposal,the commitments and plans I originally set for myself are still obtainable(always will be) albeit will be much MORE lengthy in obtaining. It's more a question of the importance in sacrificing time to cut a long story short. It's not a assessment of whether or not you want to follow through with or cut short your career plans, that has never been the case nor is it a question of Xaawo or Abdi whispering in your ear.It's a profound someone or something that in order to accept into your world you must implement your life's time to.That is if you choose to accept it.Two of the things I want most in the world are looming at the same time. Cambaro thanks for your wisdom walaashiis.Do you believe that one cannot be blessed in some areas?You said "But if it is easy come, easy go, life will let you down somewhere down the line" Does everything have to be a struggle in order to achieve?Elaborate,Give me some examples.... Ya ibti walaashiis it's not trying to please anyone alxamdulilah I am not in that situation.It's a question of pleasing yourself and not selling yourself short.Basically it's all about me and not wanting to sacrifice any time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted March 2, 2007 Time is gold and there is nothing like the present, but at the same time, sometimes we can get unexpected things on top of where we were heading for in the first place, it might make things a bit complicated or it might take you another year or two to get there, but as long as you see yourself getting there. Some people are blessed and get everything, I can't say i'm a fan of those people, just plain hating on them right now Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paragon Posted March 2, 2007 Do people really intimate to achieve things solely because only 'they' want it? It seems, for most people, the ownership of their self is one that is shared by others. Thus, whether they like it or not, they have no choice but to achieve what is expected of them. They simply can't go against the grain for that requires rigid individualistic independence. So, go on and do the things that must be done. You are less likely to avoid them- so you better get on with things before those around you call you a failure . If you truly don't give a monkey's **** what they call you, then, you can may be able to achieve great things for your own pleasure and satisfation. But then again, you are a social being and disregarding the approval or disapproval of others, is not something you can do, can you? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xalimopatra Posted March 2, 2007 Lol @ Hating. I feel you tho.Aslong as I see myself getting there (albeit taking a lengthier route) then I guess that's all that matters and I CAN make this work Insha'Allah.Thanks sis. I'm just a selfish person is all...Lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms DD Posted March 2, 2007 Xalimo I was reading a study taken when the lottery winners millionares were compared with those hard-earned millionares. The later were equiped to deal with their millions and therefore accumulated even more wealth as they managed it well. However the lottery winners were not equiped to manage their new found wealth and as a result led to losing the lot under 10yrs. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xalimopatra Posted March 2, 2007 Paragon .Again it's not a question of others niggling at me about my plans.Alxamdulilah my family have given me a good support network throughout my life,know and are happy about my future career plans and have left me to it. I know what is expected of me lakiin the way that I am/have always been is a,b,c you know? Something is looming when I did not plan it lakiin it was in Allah SWT's will and so I have to deal with it the best I can. Cambaro Lottery winners get it in a minute.My original/shorter plan was quite rigirous as it was so it's not comparable to the quick-fix lottery winner's example. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blessed Posted March 2, 2007 Salaams Xaliimo Edit Discard inta hore..(shoulda reviewed the topic) I also find praying istikhaara to be extremely effective. The companions prayed istikhaara even for the smallest decisions like buying shoes (wish I did that yesterday :mad: ) we make life altering decisions without consulting Allah. The beautiful thing about istikhaara is that you are asking Allah to make the decision with you – it immediately lifts a lot of weight of you garbo… Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Che -Guevara Posted March 2, 2007 When you've been in a bubble of certainty your whole life uncertainty is a biij It is not that bad once you force yourself to get out of the circle, and learn to accept life is ever evolving animal. What's more scary to me is the divinely introspection which leads you to find out you don't have much of faith in God (that's you believe in Him at all). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sheherazade Posted March 2, 2007 You can only do what you think is right now. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mantra Posted March 2, 2007 Salam Xalimo Looks like you're torn between pursuing your dreams now...and putting them on hold for someone...assuming that's your issue I would say if it's really important to that person (only applies for family members) then just suck it up and inshallah your time will come. I gave up two years for family....it's a huge set-back but hey that's life. Kimiya, great advice...I don't know why but I hardly get any signs after I pray istikhara... :confused: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
