Questions

[Pucca]

How many of you considered or have already moved out of your parent’s home?

 

For hundreds of teens moving out of their parent’s home is a natural step, a step they must take to prove their independence, to become responsible, to be an adult, etc. however after doing a couple of questionnaires I’ve noticed that almost all of Somali teens live with their parent’s till they get married.

 

Other teens that I’d questioned such as Jamaican, Italian, French, etc all planned on moving out as soon as they were done high school, I found that these teens were more independent and had a mind set of their own. They didn’t have a parent holding on to them, supporting them financially and therefore were totally reliant on themselves.

 

Now I asked myself, would Somali teens be more mature, had they been expected to move out and fend for themselves? Somali teens(boys) today aren’t what doing so well academically, most drop out of school and some stay in school but hardly attend any of their classes (why bother?). hmm…would this change if suddenly hoyoo said “ wara pack up and adios…get an apartment, a job, and start paying them bills�

 

Had parents back home sent their teens to work? Would sending these boys off to work/live on their own perhaps change them? Make them more independent, more responsible, and more mature?

 

After doing many workshops trying to better my Somali community I’ve noticed that the somali youth that attend and take part in these workshops listen to what I say yet don’t implement them, while the black kids who occasionally show up are well on their way to colleges or going back to high school to finish and go into post secondary.

 

I’ve come to the point where I think helping these young boys better themselves is almost impossible. How does one help one who doesn’t want help???

 

I’ve asked many questions, so if I’ve confused you all, sorry!! I just had all these questions floating around in my head and just had to write them down.

 

But …plz if you have any suggestions or comments feel free to reply…thanks!!

[Thinkerman]

Salam Calayakum sis

 

Some very interesting questions you've raised.

 

I think it would be fair to say that your first paragraph is highly accurate and not a generalization at all. Is this for better or for worse?

 

Well to be perfectly honest it really does come down to the circumstances facing the individual and the scenrio surronding the family. But as a principle i think it would greatly benefit the boy/girl and indeed the firmly were they to encourage there children to be more independant.

 

To answer your second paragraph would be difficult without making general assumtpions based on to types of potential effects of somali teens moving out of there comfort/family zone.

 

Teen type 1, could prosper greatly from the newly found freedom/responsibilites and oppotunites and make something of themselves personally academically and finacial and thus be a great asset for there family, all things else being equal.

 

Teen type2, might enjoy some of the trappings of the newly found freedoms, but without the comfort zone of the house and them negleting the responsibilities of living appropriately they may falter and become an even greater burden to there family.

 

For better or for worse eventual we all must progress on to adult hood, sadly some family's (perhaps alot/perhaps a few) dont or havent had the forsight to encourage their children to be more independant than they are.

 

I think it all boils down really to the individual's concerned sis. But collectively as a family unit and a community the more encouragment to progress and improve we give to our younger ones, then this problem need only be temporary and not a permenant compliant.

[Pucca]

How important is it for one to live on their own before marriage and is it different between both genders?

 

does a person who's lived on their own (totally alone) make better choices when choosing a "life partner"?

are they more able to understand and take on family responsibilities after marriage?

 

more questions...

[- Femme -]

I dont think its important for a woman live independenlty before she gets married. However I do believe that it would be a great learning experience and lesson for a man.

 

A man is going to be the provider and supporter of his family, therefore he has to experience paying the rent, bills, cooking his own food without Hooyo Macaan (If wife is pregnant, sick, vacation...is he gonna be ordering pizza all the time?)and all the other responsibilites that come with living without the support, food, finiancial help and comfort of Mummy and Daddy.

[Pucca]

______________________________________________

I dont think its important for a woman live independenlty before she gets married.

-----------------------------------------------

why isn't it important?

[shyhem]

I don't have anything in common with this young boys still living with mamas but i do believe a boarding school(high school) will do 'em justice.

 

It's where i learnt how to grow up and be a man at a younger age,u don't need u'r mother to act like a grown up.I mean some of the brothers i see nowadays i wonder what happened to the saying "boys will be Boys",this young boys no longer follow our footsteps.We used to be young and wild screaming; outlaw like 2pac in high school, but we neva packed a pistol on our waist like this skinny ni99az in mpls.And most important of all we neva dropped out of high school even though, once again like 2pac we used to scream at the top of our voice "Got school high diploma but neva learnt shi-t in school"

 

The teenager boys of nowadays have a huge problem,they can't differentiate tv from the reality.When will they know that there is only one 50 cent and the rest of 'em need to study hard the old fashioned way,chop 'em books page by page.We did it back in our days and i'm caustiously optimist they can, provided we ship 'em back kakuma refugees.Life was all good there,we never had problems with young boys dropping out of school unless they couldn't pay school fees and as such the principle had to kick 'em out of school.

 

As for the girls,i believe they're better off staying with dem mothers.And if that can't help 'em, well u can always hand 'em a homemade husband and they will live happly after forever.

[- Femme -]

Chocolaat: Because the skills women need to be a mother and wife..theyre gonna learn at home. Thats the best and safest place for a woman I believe. Besides girls are always from birth, more mature than guys their own age.

 

I aslo believe that all boys should be sent to a 2 year intensive boot camp when they reach 15...intiina kibirka bilaawin in laga soo saaro baa fiicaan. THen theyll really know what it is to be a "MAN".

[Pucca]

Getting Off This Subject ...

 

since its a thread for all sorts of questions... here is a couple i'd like some answers to ...plz and thank you...

 

somali magazine...:

 

1) if you were to pick up a Somali teen magazine...what sort of articles would u expect to see? What topics would u be interested in reading about? Religion? Gossip? History...etc?

 

2) Should there be a section for Somali traditional clothing? Fashion kind of thing? Or should that not be included?

 

3)any ideas on how to get the magazine to appeal to both sexes? not too girly...and not too masculine...

 

questions cant be answered with a question...(ex...why do you ask? ...whats with the somali magazine idea?...)

 

thanks again...

[Mombasa_QUEEN]

Well chocolate you are right these kind of situation do happen around our people who are somali. while i was in high school i never thought of moving out of my mom house till my senior year me, and my best friend got scholarship in these school and it was a good deal so we both decided to let our parent know about it and see if they are ok with us moving out of city just to pursue out education... well my mom walahi was happy about it and she was like hey as long as you all about education i dont care where u go to school at.while my friend mom tripped about it and she said no to her well these is my second year and iam still in uni while my friend is back at home working at these hotel while she had the best chance to find her life.

 

One thing i learned moving away from my mom house was the worst thing i did even thought iam independent but its a hard thing i got used to come home and the food is ready on the table while here i have to come home hungry and start cooking for my self and there is alot of other stuff that we learn just being away from the family.

 

So there is something that most of the parent dont fell right seding there kids to some other state or city so if there was a way you could show them they are wrong well that will be helpfull...and on the other hand i think they just to scared to send there own kid who is a female to somewhere else.