Heey, How is your English?

[Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar]

Salaan...

 

Not that bad. Good. Just relax.

 

If you thought it was that rough, well wait until you see these signs posted throughout the world.

__________________

 

A cocktail lounge, Norway:

 

LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

 

At a Budapest, Hungary, zoo:

 

PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY How kind of you.

 

A doctor's office in Rome:

 

SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES. Specifically, in WOMEN only, mind you. Talyaani shaxaari eh maxaa u dhiman.

 

A hotel's sign, Acapulco, Mexico:

 

THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE. Yeah, right. The water passed through personally on his belly.

 

Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:

 

COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF. Control, indeed.

 

Car rental brochure, Tokyo:

 

WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR. Whatever that means. I am sure that isn't a brochure from Avis or Budget.

 

Sign in men's rest room in Japan:

 

TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT. My pe-is to the right??? :confused: I don't pee while standing, dankis.

 

In a Nairobi restaurant:

 

CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER. It is a must. Or else.

 

On the grounds of a private school somewhere in U.S.:

 

NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION. How can I trespass without permission in the first place? God.

 

On a highway in U.S.:

 

TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE. Too late.

 

A poster by a literacy group:

 

ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP. How do you read that if you can't read? Maan, people are getting weird.

 

In a some city's restaurant post:

 

OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO. Now, that is NINE days to my calculation.

 

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:

 

DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS. Aaaaah, what did you say?? How in heck should I do it then?

 

In a maternity ward:

 

NO CHILDREN ALLOWED. It is like saying no elders are welkam in Retirement Homes.

 

In a Tokyo bar:

 

SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS. Am I nuts?? Kac. Oh, you mean loos?

 

Hotel lobby, Bucharest, Romania:

 

THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME, WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE. Don't you understand? We said you are unbearable, leave our hotel immediately. Or else.

 

Hotel elevator sign, Paris:

 

PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK. Aha?

 

A Hotel sign, Yugoslavia:

 

THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID. :confused:

 

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:

 

YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY. Soviets are still alive. Heey Cowboy Bush, leave Sadaam Xuseen or Cusama, the Soviet are still out there. And they are dying everyday, so get them quickly.

 

A Supermarket sign, Hong Kong

 

FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE. Really? Wow, thank you. But, who is serving whom? By me? To me?

 

In an East African {is this the Daily Nation from Nairobi?} newspaper:

 

A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS. Nice headline, Mr Editor.

 

Hotel, Vienna, Austria:

 

IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.

 

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:

 

IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE. Now, I agree with that. Nothing wrong. But, but is there any other people in this world with different sex that requires for instance men and women??

 

Hotel, Zurich, Switzerland:

 

BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE. You can't have a little in your hotel room. Noo. But, in the lobby, yeah, it is hokey.

 

A laundry in Rome:

 

LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME. Oooooh, yeah. Where are my faaraxis. Maan. :cool:

 

Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:

 

TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES. Heey, tourist, are you pregnant? If so, we guarantee there is absolutely no miscarriages in our business.

 

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:

 

WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN A*S? Aw, yeah. Is it a good a*s??? Yac.

 

The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:

 

GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE. Cajiib.

 

In a Swiss mountain inn:

 

SPECIAL TODAY--NO ICE-CREAM.

 

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen, Denmark:

 

WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS. Baliis, no. My good cali falaaxis are in those bags.

 

A sign in a mountainous road:

 

FALLING ROCKS DO NOT STOP. When are they going to stop? When they hit me?

 

A faxed letter:

 

IF YOU DO NOT RECEIVE THIS FAX, PLEASE CALL. Well, I received, what should I do now? Bini Aadanaa.

[KritiKal-Mind]

IF YOU DO NOT RECIEVE THIS FAX PLEASE CALL .....looooool Hehehehe....some people are nuts.

 

lol

[sMiLeY]

hahhahahah......... wallahi wa iga qosolsiisay thnx a lot

[Valenteenah.]

LooooL @....

 

"WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR"

 

"WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN A*S?"

[Thinkerman]

THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE. Yeah, right. The water passed through personally on his belly.

 

through his belly sahib not 'on' lol.

[QUANTUM LEAP]

Something about old topics that brings out the giggle in moi ...

 

"WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS. Baliis, no. My good cali falaaxis are in those bags."

[La-y-La]

ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP. How do you read that if you can't read? Maan, people are getting weird.

 

loooooooool

[Ibtisaam]

Originally posted by Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar:

 

ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP

. How do you read that if you can't read? Maan, people are getting weird.

And you'd think that literacy group would know that illiterate people cant read so therefore....Weird indeed .

 

MMA good to see you back, the place has been dull with out you. Ok don't start growing a big head now .