Blessed Posted August 1, 2003 Salaams sisters, this article is just amazing, in the sense that our blessings (which we ignore to follow) are being appreaciated by people other then us. It is long but woth reading! Hijabed Like Me, by Kathy Chin- A Chinese American I walked down the street in my long white dress and inch-long, black hair one afternoon, and truck drivers whistled and shouted obscenities at me. I felt defeated. I had just stepped out of a hair salon. I had cut my hair short, telling the hairdresser to trim it as she would a cut a man's hair. I sat numbly as my hairdresser skillfully sheared into my shoulder-length hair with her scissors, asking me with every inch she cut off if; I was freaking out yet. I wasn't freaking out, but I felt self-mutilated. I WAS OBLITERATING MY FEMININITY It wasn't just another haircut. It meant so much more. I was trying to appear androgynous by cutting my hair. I wanted to obliterate by femininity. Yet that did not prevent some men from treating me as a sex object. I was mistaken. It was not my femininity that was problematic, but my sexuality, or rather the sexuality that some men had ascribed to me based on my biological sex. They reacted to me as they saw me and not as I truly am. Why should it even matter how they see me, as long as I know who I am? But it does. I believe that men who see women as only sexual beings often commit violence against them, such as rape and battery. Sexual abuse and assault are not only my fears, but my reality. I was molested and raped. My experiences with men who violated me have made me angry and frustrated. How do I stop the violence? How do I prevent men from seeing me as an object rather than a female? How do I stop them from equating the two? How do I proceed with life after experiencing what others only dread? The experiences have left me with questions about my identity. Am I just another Chinese-American female? I used to think that I have to arrive at a conclusion about who I am, but now I realize that my identity is constantly evolving. MY EXPERIENCE OF BEING “HIJABED” One experience that was particularly educational was when I “dressed up” as a Muslim woman for a drive along Crenshaw Boulevard with three Muslim men as part of a newsmagazine project. I wore a white, long-sleeved cotton shirt, and a flowery silk scarf that covered my head, which I borrowed from a Muslim woman. Not only did I look the part, I believed I felt the part. Of course, I wouldn't really know what it feels like to be Hijabed-I coined this word for the lack of a better term-everyday, because I was not raised with Islamic teachings. However, people perceived me as a Muslim woman and did not treat me as a sexual being by making cruel remarks. I noticed that men's eyes did not glide over my body as has happened when I wasn't Hijabed. I was fully clothed, exposing only my face. I remembered walking into an Islamic center and an African-American gentleman inside addressed me as “sister”, and asked where I came from. I told him I was originally from China. That didn't seem to matter. He respected me and assumed I was Muslim. I didn't know how to break the news to him because I wasn't sure if I was or not. I walked into the store that sold African jewelry and furniture and another gentleman asked me as I was walking out if I was Muslim. I looked at him and smiled, not knowing how to respond. I chose not to answer. BEING HIJABED CHANGED OTHERS' PERCEPTION OF ME Outside the store, I asked one of the Muslim men I was with, “Am I Muslim?” He explained that everything that breathes and submits is. I have concluded that I may be and just don't know it. I haven't labeled myself as such yet. I don't know enough about Islam to assert that I am Muslim. HIJAB AS OPPRESSION: A SUPERFICIAL AND MISGUIDED VIEW I consciously chose to be Hijabed because I was searching for respect from men. Initially, as both a Women's Studies major and a thinking female, I bought into the Western view that the wearing of a scarf is oppressive. After this experience and much reflection, I have arrived at the conclusion that such a view is superficial and misguided. THE MOST LIBERATING EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE I covered up that day out of choice, and it was the most liberating experience of my life. I now see alternatives to being a woman. I discovered that the way I dress dictated others' reaction towards me. It saddens me that this is a reality. It is a reality that I have accepted, and chose to conquer rather than be conquered by it. It was my sexuality that I covered, not my femininity. The covering of the former allowed the liberation of the latter. by Kathy Chin This article was originally published in Al-Talib, the newsmagazine of the Muslim Students' Association of the University of California in Los Angeles (UCLA) in October 1994. At the time of its publication, Kathy Chin was a senior at UCLA majoring in Psychobiology and Women's Studies. Source: soundvision Courtesy: www.everymuslim.com -------------------- Before you criticise a person walk a mile in their shoes. You'll be a mile away and you'd have their shoes :-D Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Intuition Posted August 1, 2003 Asalaamu'Alaykum...wr..wb MASHA'ALLAH! This is one of the many proofs that Islam is not just a religon, its a way of life. It has all the answers because it was made by the one creator and who knows more about mankind then Allah, no one. that is why simple things about identity and self-respect can be found within our deen. Jazakallahu khayran sista for this inspiring piece of article. it shows us not to take the small things in our deen for granted. Wasalaamu'alaykum..wr..wb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Saalixa Posted August 1, 2003 AMENA, SIS thank u very much for sharing with us the article, its a good reminder or perhaps implications to all those SOMALI SISTAS WHO ARE ASHAMED of their hijab. they dont know the gift they have. i an idividual love and die for my hijab because i know the value it has. it wont attract guys of course but it will keep me covered from the evil eyes. girls that wear the hijab are less likely to be abused threatened in public or even raped. So why risk ur life. and thats only on earth what bout the Aakhira? most girls dont look at that or dont take it seriously, and its them that will get the punishments. they say " i will wear it when i get married, first let me enjoy my life a little while" crap!! theres no enjoyment or happiness in life. people just see u wit out the hijab everyday and ur like a piece of tomatoe, open to the public. ps. i dont want pple (girls) eating me alive after reading my comment. thats just my opinnion.i have many friends who dont wear the hijab but are good muslim and man they are better than the ones that do.on the contarery u all can think different have ur voice,providing i wont be accountable on day of jugde infront of allah for covering the truth!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Changed Posted August 1, 2003 Ameenah thanks for sharing it with us.. seriously i think its just another reminder to those who dont wear their hijaab and want to be sexual objects and those that have doubts their hijaab....masha allah Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xafsa Posted August 3, 2003 Ameenah that was really a nce article...We as muslim women have alot to be greatful for. Thanks hon for sharing that with us. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blessed Posted August 4, 2003 Fly, Intiution rayana. Your welcomes. Originally posted by MIZZ-UNIQUE: seriously i think its just another reminder to those who dont wear their hijaab and want to be sexual objects and those that have doubts their hijaab....masha allah Lol.. Cheecky I am not making excuses, but hijab is quite hard to start and keep up in this society, but I guess you'd get more ajer for it. And knowing it is for our benefit does help... !! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Captivating_SouL Posted August 4, 2003 Mashallah....if only we can manipulate that into our daily life..thanx for postin it...makes ALL of us aware n perhaps act on our inner self voice. much apprecaition hon..really Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A7LA-SHU Posted August 4, 2003 Ameenah thanks.. i like the part the guy called her "sister" that is my favorite havin ppl call u sis... how sweet.. what can i say Allah loves us and some of us don't realize dat.. Originally posted by Ameenah: I am not making excuses, but hijab is quite hard to start and keep up in this society, but I guess you'd get more ajer for it. And knowing it is for our benefit does help... !! Ameenah it isn't hard to start and sure not hard to keep up with this society.. everything can be easy if u make it easy.. my parents were not the type who are like put ur Hijab on because we said so. instead they watched to see what we will do.. my older sis used to put lil scarf and have her long hair hang out from the back.. but she fully cover herself up now. and believe me i know alot of ppl who think they can't act or be themselve if they wear Hijab. and that ain't true.. rayaana true to dat sweety.. and i don't think any ladies here gonna eat u alive after reading your comment. instead alot of us are thankful u are being honest. and stay dat way too.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
- diamond princess - Posted August 4, 2003 Thanx for that article abbayo. It makes me realize I shouldn't take things for granted. What gets me angry now a days is women/girls who wear the hijab to the back or inproper. If you gonna wear the hijab wear it the right way in the first place. Or just don't wear it at all. Because covering only the hair is not whats needed. Its also the neck. Thats my two cents!!! .:peace n luv:. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
biG mOm Posted August 5, 2003 asalaama calaykum warahmatullaahi wabarakaatu Maasha Allaah .. Ameenah JAZZAKI ALAAH KHAIR nice article walaahi much love it.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Raxmah Posted August 5, 2003 Asalamu alaikum Ameenah thanx for sharing the article, it's definitely an eye opener for those who think hijab is oppressive. I truly wish that some muslim sisters stop thinking wearing hijab was oppressive. They are sending bad image about the reason we wear hijab. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Changed Posted August 5, 2003 Originally posted by exceptional_by_nature: . What gets me angry now a days is women/girls who wear the hijab to the back or inproper. If you gonna wear the hijab wear it the right way in the first place. Or just don't wear it at all. Because covering only the hair is not whats needed. Its also the neck. Thats my two cents!!! .:peace n luv:. i would love to agree with u ,but its not the case most of the time,some of them are not used to wearing hijaab and when they start wearing hijaab they do it the comfortable way at that time u dont expect them have a perfect start do u ... ameenah i would agree with u.. ...as i kid i never wore hijaab and as soon as i became an adult i had to cuz it was a part of me .....the hardest thing i did and still do is to keep up with my hijaab and i will have to admit up until two months ago i used to have my hijaab cover my hair only ..now its totally a new story...hafsa give me my probs Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xafsa Posted August 5, 2003 ^^^^^ I'm glad you kept it on...I remember how we dedicated a whole weekend to finding you matching skirts and hijaabs. Mad love to you hon!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
- diamond princess - Posted August 5, 2003 Mizz Unique, I'm happy for you. Keep it up girl! I know what I said earlier isn't always the case. But if you live where I live and see the type of girls here, you would agree with me. These girls abuse the privillage to wear a hijab. Example, in school you would see girls who would never be caught wearing a hijab suddenly wear it and say it's my religion. But they only covering their hair because they have a bad "hair day". The next day you will see them back to their "non-hijab" ways. But to those who are training them selves keep it up. Another issue I'd like to point out to is the fact that when girls wear a hijab (which ever way they like) they still wear tight clothings like jeans, tank-tops and so on. But I'm wondering whats the point? If you're not covered else where why cover the hair? Anywayz this is from my experience, people I seen, and people I hear about. I'm not saying all girls do that. .:peace n luv:. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted August 5, 2003 Thanx darling, that was a great article. It is a shame that some of us don't or can't appreciate the hijaab for what it does for us, when even non-Muslims are aware of its significance. However, given time, I think most muslim women realise the importance of hijaab and take it up. Mizz unique, Glad u kept it on too. Flying I wish I had someone like u to help me shop for matching clothes too. I'm making the transition from hair-only to full hijaab and my clothes are frustrating me. Skirts and scarves aren't a problem, but tops are. Everything I have is either too loose or too tight, too long or completely shapeless. :rolleyes: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
