What does Islam say about having Boyfriends or Girlfriends?

[Haddad]

Originally posted by Hibo:

...she has not visited me at all..

I got that notion from a picture she has posted. It appears I got the wrong notion. I will be careful in the future, to not get such a notion, insh'Allah.

Secondly, why are u bringing the two topics together?? They have nothing to do with one another...

Well, I was afraid that if I email you my personal infos, you could reveal it here if we exchange heated arguments and you get emotional.

[Haddad]

Originally posted by Hibo:

what made you think, that I was going to tell on you if we argued or I got emotional? I may post something but that doesn't mean its my emotions... it could be that of someone else...

Hibo, please reflect on what you have written. You asked:

 

what made you think, that I was going to tell on you if we argued or I got emotional?

 

and answered:

 

I may post something but that doesn't mean its my emotions... it could be that of someone else...

 

Now, supposing you have argued with someone (not me), and got emotional, you may post something, it could be that of someone else (possibly, probably me). Abaayo, cosider taking the 5th.

[Faarax-Brawn]

Hadaad:Its Shameful that a Man should come in between sheeko Gabdho.That was plain INCITEMENT. I have a feeling your intention was to provoke a fight btw two freinds or discredit Hibo's good will. Eitherway, that didnt come very well.

 

If you seriously doubted HIBO's personality to keep a secret[WHICH BTW were valid],and have serious ethical questions about her ability to keep such secrets[The Matriminial], you could have privately told her so.

 

I hope in the future you would be more careful,as this one has already done damage.

 

I hope they get past this little commotion,but if these two freinds break up due to this,its all your fault.

 

Hibo,Walashis i think Hadaad had a point about your outbursts. If you seriously want to be taken serious,i think you should be more humble. You should control your emotions. after all you are a match maker now.

:cool: WS

[Som@li]

Subhanalaah,Who would do that? Send pms to make two friends fight.

 

OG_girl you should hve not acted they u did,condidering legal actions!!, You should understand the objective of those individuals.

[Haddad]

Originally posted by OG_Girl:

As I cleared when you asked that wasn't Hibo's picture.

I didn't ask if the room was Hibo's. It's just your statement This is Hibo's living room was fresh in my memory, while your latter comment in Arabic wasn't.

[Faarax-Brawn]

However, within a few minutes, I got 17 PMs Some simply wanted to just make more troubles between you and I. Some showed sympathy and states few advices and how to handle the situation. While others just asked me to ask the owner of this site to remove this post as is ruining my reputation as a young Muslim woman

 

 

Subxaanalah,This is the epitome of fITNO .

 

But you know what, I have a theory how ALL this MAY have started. But am not gonna dwell on that, becoz this is Sheeko Gabdho, and i hope the two of you reconcile. Sheydans are amongst us i tell ya

[Saalixa]

I never looked up to find out what islam says about having a boyfriend, because I don't care too much to find out the end result, thats just me. As long as folks aren't sharing their cake with their significant other, it will always be halal in my book.

Layzie that is just so weird. Say you are sitting for an exam the month comming and your teacher tells you the contents and what to expect. Are you going to be laid back, enjoy the next weeks and have fun?Or be in the library studying 24'7 coz you know the consequences of failing an exam. How can you think of it being halal when you have no authority or proof to do such?

This is an abstract that sums up all of what everyone is bighting each others back for

"...Islam has restricted the authority to legislate haraam and halal for Allah alone. No man, regardless of his religious or worldly status has a right to decide on this. To prohibit the halal and to permit the haram is similar to committing shirk .Allah, the Most Merciful, makes things halal or haram for a reason, with peoples' well being in view. He has neither permitted anything except what is pure nor has he prohibited only because they are impure.

..if the action is haram, although the intention is permissible, then it remains haram."

( Nadawi,AA 1999, Islamic Studies, Jamadal-Ula, Capetown.)

[Animal Farm]

I think its okay to have a relationship before you get married, that way you get to know each other. Say going to the movies, dinner, and etc. Eventually a marriage from a prior relationship will be more successful than say an arranged marriage – I know Islam does not permit this, but what are we to do --- the way to do it is to get a third party to tag along and witness everything you do --- I’d say that’s a little awkward.

[sheherazade]

Bloody hell!!How come no one sends me PMs?? LOL. Hehe.

 

Anyway, girls I'm glad to see you sorting it out.

[Saalixa]

Acuudkeeeeeee

IAm totally out of it man!I just read the last posts by OG AND HIBO after posting me little contro.....i just hope everything is resolved.

OG yes you should learn from this lesson and next time dont ever post any pics walaalo. Some ppl in here are just so bored to the extent they like to make trouble between others. Just last night i posted on the 4th page of this thread and look now it is already rolling up to the 9th!just within 24 hours yiykes :eek: ! Nomdads like drama and gossip sooooo much.

[Haddad]

Originally posted by Animal Farm:

Eventually a marriage from a prior relationship will be more successful than say an arranged marriage

I would say an arranged marriage is more successful than one with a prior relationship. I don't know what could be helpful about a prior relationship, since experiece shows even after years of a prior relationship, people discover someone totally different than the one they knew when they come under one roof.

 

Marriage is totally different than a relationship. In the latter, there's no commitment and you live with an actor/actress. In the first, there will be no movies to act in, there are legal papers, there are responsibilities, there are sacrifices to be made, there are understandings to be made, there are misunderstandings to be clarified, and etc.

 

In any case, two people who marry are two strangers. In arranged marriages, the two strangers will be enthusiastic, making new discoveries about each other, having better and more patience for each other, and thus having better chance for success. In marriages with a prior relationship, the two strangers will be less enthusiastic, discovering new shocks about each other, having little patience for each other, and thus a recipe for failure.

[Umm al_khair]

Originally posted by Animal Farm:

Eventually a marriage from a prior relationship will be more successful than say an arranged marriage – I know Islam does not permit this, but what are we to do

Allah is the one that brings the heart together and makes your marrrieg become successfull.

hence your life will only be successfull if do it accorind to the teaching of islam and you are patient.

i personaly will say that the advantage of islamic marriege is 'cutting out all the rubbish and crap of pertending, trying to be someone else, trying to please someone by living up to their expectation.

[Umm al_khair]

sorry i just read Haddad post after replying.

thanks haddad you explained it more clearly.

[Animal Farm]

Many view arranged marriages as being successful because many of them are unable to divorce. It is extremely hard for a couple to divorce because so many people, i.e. family are involved in the marriage – it is really hard to get a closure and often arranged marriages happen within families.

 

One person could be miserable and unhappy in the marriage, and there might not even be understanding, but yet they’ll continue in their unhappy existence to please their families. If you really look it, is that the way to live life.

[Umm al_khair]

Originally posted by Hibo:

I do agree with you sis. However Nabiyuna Muhammed CSW also said If something is qeyr it should be hastened and in this case marriage is qeyr. But then the background check of the man or woman your son or daughter will marry is necessary... so wat do u think the couple should do while they wait on the results of the investigations?? Stop communicating completely till further notice?? [/QB]

true hibo it is qayr and the prophet SAW said' if someone come to you and you are satisfied with his deen and character, then marry him otherwise a fitnah and great destruction will become rampant on earth' repoted by at.Tirmidhi.

so what i meant is one should not hurry until he is certain of the deen and character.

 

lol while waiting on the results of the investigation there will still be communication but as long as it is in halal way, surely simple chatting and giggling over the phone all nite which many people do will not be accepted.