What does Islam say about having Boyfriends or Girlfriends?

[Som@li]

This topic suppose to be in the islamic section.

 

Is dating halal,Is boyfriend/girl friend allowed? these are the questions coming back over and over again here!!!

 

I guess it is a very popular in the arab world, where the boy's family chose a girl 4 him,(mostly from his relatives,and in this case they know each other from childhood)and all the famliy get togeher ,and that is the only time when the boy and the girl see each other,but don't talk to each other. This is arranged marriege,and where some are getting "The chaperoning" stuff.Arranged marrieges exist among somalis,but are limited.

[Johnny B]

No matter how some try to make life impossible just becouse their version of ISLAM glorifies narrow mindedness, facts and realities SPEAK their own language.

Those of you living in 14th century who could think of marrying anything female with TWO legs please give us a break.

Even Animals pick their own partners after they´ve seen him/her, got somehow fond of him/her. why not me?

 

Since you forbid all sort of contact with the "to be spouse", what is it you suggest? Just marry a chick cause she happens to be female and claims to be Muslim?

eh..why not register with one of these "Muslim match" sites for a quick n lottery marriage

 

me marrying a chick i never met is like me going out n bringing home a TRANS. now how funny is that

[LayZie G.]

It almost sounds as if most of you are trying to convince yourselves more than anything. Hijacking topics isn't the way to avoid the real quesitons.

 

Dating is dating, having a boyfriend/girlfriend is just that, having one or the other. There is no such thing as "islamic dating, "arabic dating" "gaal dating". There is just one type of dating, and thats plain dating. Let us not get it twisted, I mean y'all might wanna call it "islamic dating" in the hopes that others wont judge you for being you. Who cares what people think. We are all adults here, we all know that at one time or another, each and everyone of us dated, except the "very few exceptions". Whether you are single, married or still dating, You dated. You know, your boyfriend/girlfriend knows and most importantly allah knows. The question we should be asking ourselves is, why we fronting on the idea of dating, yes you the reader(I'm talking to you), you know you have had ex's, you know you had or have boyfriend/girlfriend.

 

Why you gotta put an act?Who are you trying to please?(THe only thing you should be fearing is allah, not the readers of SOLers or your friends, but allah)

 

Why do SOlers have a tendency to say one thing but do totally different thing behind close doors?

 

Lets be honest here, you can't come in here with a straight face, talking about "dating is haram" but I dated the islamic way. You and I both know no one takes a third wheel into their alone time with your significant other. Having a chaperon is a joke.

 

 

Getting back to the topic @ hand, I never looked up to find out what islam says about having a boyfriend, because I don't care too much to find out the end result, thats just me. As long as folks aren't sharing their cake with their significant other, it will always be halal in my book.

[Taqwa]

^^ A man who believes coming off as perky is ilbaxnimo. Go figure!! Sample what you like no one is forcing you to do anything. The sisters are just telling you what is HARAM and what isn't.

 

 

you know you have had ex's, you know you had or have boyfriend/girlfriend.

Inanta cajistay, speak for yourself walaal.

[LayZie G.]

^^^ You already hot and bothered, I wonder why.

 

 

PS: I have already spoken for myself, can't you read?

[Taqwa]

^ Read your own post before you answer me please.

[Castro]

Originally posted by Taqwa:

The sisters are just telling you what is HARAM and what isn't.

The "sisters" should know that those who speak positively of dating are NOT interested in what the sisters have to say. Therefore, it is a waste of the sisters' time. Unless, of course, the sisters want to start trouble with the other sisters.

 

Somalis have always been moderates in Islam. This shift to fundamentalism is new and disturbing. You scream what the hell is a moderate muslim? I say someone who's not shoving things down others' throats.

[Taqwa]

Fidel,

 

I believe Islam is Islam. If the last generation of Somali's where moderate then surely you can see the consequence today. The moment you find comfort in Islam is the moment your slacking off. Who said a seat in Jannah is a piece of cake? You have someone (Shaydan) who vowed before his Lord, the very one he believes in to distract you from that very seat your eyeing yet you consider an advice from a sister to be SEEKING trouble.

[LayZie G.]

Taqwa, I don't need to read what I wrote 10/15 minutes ago. I don't write for the hell of just writing, I think before I write or speak for that matter, unlike some people.

 

You are telling me to speak for myself, yet you are speaking of behalf of the so called "sisters"?

 

 

PS:

The "sisters" should know that those who speak positively of dating are NOT interested in what the sisters have to say.

this had me laughing for few seconds.

[Salma]

Originally posted by LayZieGirl:

 

Why you gotta put an act?Who are you trying to please?(THe only thing you should be fearing is allah, not the readers of SOLers or your friends, but allah)

 

Why do SOlers have a tendency to say one thing but do totally different thing behind close doors?

 

Lets be honest here, you can't come in here with a straight face, talking about "dating is haram" but I dated the islamic way. You and I both know no one takes a third wheel into their alone time with your significant other. Having a chaperon is a joke.

 

1st - What is this plain contradiction.... If you think that 'You' are so right & sure about what you are doing; then why would u think that 'others' who disagree with you are wrong when they say "Dating is haraam" and not listed in their agenda?!.

 

2nd- If you say that Solers must fear only Allah. Then why would you think that those who believe that Dating is haraam are lying and not fearing Allah. Nobody questioned your intention about fearing Allah why to question others' intentions ?!

 

What a life!!!

[Castro]

Originally posted by Taqwa:

If the last generation of Somali's where moderate then surely you can see the consequence today.

So the demise of Somalia is punishment for our fathers' sins?. I'll buy that. In fact, I'll go as far as agree with you. Where we diverge is the definition of sin. I believe the demise of Somalia occured because of the sin of our fathers' lack of hard work and selfishness. Their reluctance to sacrifice their own lives to create a good place for their children to live. You believe it's their lack of piety and observance of Islam.

 

I don't see the whole world in terms of religion. You do. And that's where you'll find many disagreements on dating, dress code, marriage, smoking, hugging, kissing, riding a bus, having belly rings, etc...

[Taqwa]

^

I never looked up to find out what islam says about having a boyfriend, because I don't care too much to find out the end result, thats just me. As long as folks aren't sharing their cake with their significant other, it will always be halal in my book.

Do you really pay attention to what you write? If you've never looked up what Islam says about dating and if you don't care too much to find out the end result, then why are you bothering us with your opinion? Hadaad cajistaay let me show you the door to opinions because this issue is not based on personal opinions.

[Castro]

Originally posted by Taqwa:

Hadaad cajistaay let me show you the door to opinions because this issue is not based on personal opinions.

It is about personal opinions fundamentally. It's flexible and open to interpretation. Everything is. Including islam. Taqwa, you're opening a can of worms here. The stifling of conversation is a terrible thing. You alienate the very people you're trying to save by looking down on them, ridiculing them. They in turn, will look down on you and do the same. Pray on your own time for others' guidance. Don't mock them for their alleged ignorance. You may be just as ignorant, if not more.

 

I can't think of a more honest way to put things. LazyGirl said it outright. She's not looked up nor is she interested in the verdict. That's not a subliminal sign. It's 20X20 banner. Next thing I know, you'll recommend her for stonning to death.

[Taqwa]

Fidel,

 

Your a reasonable man so I will ask you a simple question. If there is a man that you would impersonate in every aspect, who would it be? Your smart enough to know where am going with this so I'll ask you another question. If perfection is what your seeking in impersonating someone, wouldn't you go the extra mile to get it done? Would you slack off and say that you will only adopt certain aspects of his traits?

 

Certainly your view of Islam and mine are different. I believe Islam should be the setting sun and the dawn of mankind. When should Islam stop being used?

[Paragon]

^^^ Nice one Taqwa. I was wondering the same thing. The topic is in essence concerned with 'what Islam says about bfriends and gfriends', and what Islam says cannot be an opinion of someone. If you don't care about what Islam says or if Islam isn't your life's view-point, then you shouldn' be here at all or be ignoring this topic. Fair and square .