What does Islam say about having Boyfriends or Girlfriends?

[J.Lee]

Well. Abaayo-yaal. It's not xaraam for two people who plan to marry (by the will of Allah, of course) to "meet" up but I've been told they'd have to be chaperoned. Atleast that is what I heard.

 

Anyway. Ladies and Gents it's in your interest to not "sample" each other before marriage (That is if you truly want to marry this person/s). I read this hadiith that if you act as if though you're already married before you truly are, then you either won't end up married, or your marriage might not be successful. (If you can afford to take the chance then do so, if not. May allah bless you.)

 

 

@Brown. If I didn't know better I would think that you were mocking me,(and my homestate) but then hey! wait a second.....I do know better.

 

BTW, I don't vent (despicable word that) maandhow I express myself. :cool:

[Nephissa]

Originally posted by Keyf:

[qb] Look at you, naa learn the religion already and stop smooching the boyfriend

You want me to whoop your a$$ before some sheikh beats me to it?

[Castro]

Originally posted by Wordette:

I read this

hadiith

that if you act as if though you're already married before you truly are, then you either won't end up married, or your marriage might not be successful.

Sample or not, up to 70% of marriages are ending in divorce nowadays. This is cross cultural, cross religious and cross just about any differences people have.

 

The last thing you'd want is to marry (buy?) a faarax without sampling, find out he doesn't work, then have to return him to his mama. Look lady, you promised he was functional but he can't do sh!t. I want my money back.

[Castro]

And by the way, while all the gestapo sheikhs are asleep, here we have all the seculars saying dating is not haram. Wait till one SS soldier wakes up firing a couple of hadiths in rapid succession and puts an end to this midnight marauding of the deen.

[Goonle]

Originally posted by Hibo:

^^^^

Dating is not haram par say. And the dating we are referring to you is not the gaal kind of dating rather the Islamic kind of dating. We are allowed to talk with the person we are intending to marry and also meet the person, ofcourse with the presence of a chaperon. The purpose of the chaperon is to eliminate the addition of sheydan. And no Islam didn't say you can't talk with the person you intend to marry. If I am wrong prove it.

 

The one

that is kind of childish to throw it in. so I won't even bother with an answer.

U hit it right on the nail baby. I need to move to UAE cuz yall seem to be more progressive than some of our people in the frozen tundra.

[Haddad]

Originally posted by Hibo:

And the dating we are referring to you is not the gaal kind of dating rather the Islamic kind of dating.

You have to be specific. If one kind of dating is totally different in another religion/culture, it must be properly identified. Why use dating and later go into laborious effort to explain it's not actually the usual dating, but a totally different one. What do they call the Islamic kind of dating in Somali or Arabic?

[Umm al_khair]

from hibo. but I do believe in Islam a man and a woman whose intention is to marry are allowed to talk and see each other given that a third person is there.

 

that is right hibo if their intension is to marry they are allowed to have a chaperoned meeting, this meeting will give them the chance to see whether they are attracted to each other and they will have the chance to discuss things and ask any questions that they may have.

but muslims are always advised not to have many meetings becouse according to islamic law the two people are still not lawful for each other and are not allowed to spend social time toghter and be alone toghter.

i personal thing the more you meet someone who you are intrested in the more you start having emotional response to the person, and this emotional feeling can have a way of painting pictures of fantasies and creating illusions. becouse the man or women you fall in love or lust with is not always the most honest, trustworthy, kind, generouse and resposible one and is not necessarily good marriege material. so by keeping the meeting to a minimum one is able to asses the person in sane and rational way and can cleary see the good point and bad point and hence can make a sensible choice.

[Goonle]

Originally posted by ukthi muslimah:

from hibo. but I do believe in Islam a man and a woman whose intention is to marry are allowed to talk and see each other given that a third person is there.

 

that is right hibo if their intension is to marry they are allowed to have a chaperoned meeting, this meeting will give them the chance to see whether they are attracted to each other and they will have the chance to discuss things and ask any questions that they may have.

but muslims are always advised not to have many meetings becouse according to islamic law the two people are still not lawful for each other and are not allowed to spend social time toghter and be alone toghter.

i personal thing the more you meet someone who you are intrested in the more you start having emotional response to the person, and this emotional feeling can have a way of painting pictures of fantasies and creating illusions. becouse the man or women you fall in love or lust with is not always the most honest, trustworthy, kind, generouse and resposible one and is not necessarily good marriege material. so by keeping the meeting to a minimum one is able to asses the person in sane and rational way and can cleary see the good point and bad point and hence can make a sensible choice.

U know when the ex-president of malaysia stated that the muslim world was behind the rest of the world, a simple countryass brother like me was like damn. But to be honest with u the countries int he world that have the most resources and are yet the poorest are muslim. We can complain about white folk like african americans do all their lives. Lets show that were number one and be more progressive. I want to know any truly democatic muslim country in africa besides Mali, and posssilby Senegal in africa. Yall do your research and get back to me

[Taqwa]

There are a lot of difficulties in our settings to do what everyone else is doing, but I plead that you reflect on the hadith of the Prophet (pbuh): "Islam began as something strange and will return to something strange. So glad tidings (salam) to the strangers!"

 

So if you are among those who are "strange" not dating while all your friends are, you are receiving the Salam of the Prophet (pbuh).

 

P.S. Non of us are great in practicing but recognizing something is HARAM assures us that we are still believers.

[Saalixa]

AssalaMu Alaikum brothers and sisters.

 

Iam shocked and despondent of what i read. Knowing especially that such has been written by ADULT, BELIEVING MUSLIMS

 

how on earth can a beliver have the courage, the need to differ, to make new opinions to make new rights and laws to his or her advantage?

How can they sit there and type AHH WELL MY OPINION IS.... or I THINK dating is HALAl?

AND since when were there such things as ISLAMIC DATING? kkkkk i was laughing and amused to hear such nonsense.

WEll like any muslim...basic practising muslim i would here ask how many of us are really basic, practising muslims???????? Or maybe MODERATE MUSLIMS?

Are we like those mentioned in the quraan who Allah calls FASIIQUUN? MUNAFIQUUN? DAALIMUUN.

Well i suggset that we go back to the two primary source of information on islamic aqeedah..AND those being THE QURAN and SUNNAH and the muslim is asked to seek facts on these and first the QURAAN.

In which sura did it say under any circumstance that dating (actually any form of meeting that will be a source of shataanic affection between that oppisite sex and needless of them touching ...isn't hearing and seeing one of our 5 general senses?aren't they going to lead to feelings of enjoyment,temptaion and atleast sinfull thoughts?)

"on the day their tongues, their hands, and their legs (or feet) will bear witness against them as to what they used to do." (NOUR)

And were we given such sort of approval by our beloved prophet? On which occasion did he approve of such meetings without a third party on the watch?

Nomads i think we have been surrounded by the one culture which has brought tragic downfall in all spheres and dimensions on earth. The culture of the west and we are getting confident enough that we can think like them, make excuses based on worthless reasoning. Just because muslims in XAmaar or Emirates make zina so are you going to join them and take that sin on your shoulders...are they going to hide you from the punishments of the grave walla cayadu Bilaah!How can that justify adultry?

how can some nomads have the reasoning

having illegimite sex or reltionship does not make you impure on the inside? And you throwing the biggest oxymoron while knowing of it?

Alaah tala says:

"Oh you who believe! Fear Alaah and keep your duty to Him. And let every person look to what he has sent forth for the morrow, and fear Allah. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what you do.

 

AND BE NOT LIKE THOSE WHO FORGOT ALLAH (i.e. BECAME DISOBEDIENT TO ALLAH), AND HE HAS CAUSED THEM TO FORGET THEIR OWN SLEVES. THOSE ARE THE FASIQUN (rebelious,disobedient to ALLAH). (al hashr)

 

" Shaitan has overpowered them. So he has made them forget the rememberance of Allah. They are the party of shaitan. Verily it is the party of shaitan that will be the losers!" (al-mujadilah)

 

"like shaitan, when he says to man:'Disbelieve in Alaah.' But when (man) disbelieves in Allah, Shaitan says: 'Iam free of you i fear Allah the lord of the Alamin (mankind, jinn and all that exists).'"(al hashr)

 

salam all.

[Haddad]

Originally posted by Hibo:

I believe in somali its called " Hasawe" ama "shukansi" inkastoo lately those words have been too closely identified as " gaal kind of dating" but back in the days it was wada hadal between the two interested parties.. and they usually taged along a friend, kind of a chaperon. The family knew that these two people were talking and usually marriage use to follow...

Hibo, I disagree it's called "shukansi", because it doesn't differ from the " gaal kind of dating", as each one is about getting together physically. Fact of matter is, back in the days, many urban Somalis used to get involved in the " gaal kind of dating". I don't even see why we bother to use the term dating, because it's not what it's in Islam. Perhaps, we could say it's getting acquainted, in the presence of a muharam. The fact is, the most successful marriages in the Islamic world is the traditional one, the kind our grand parents (also our parents, to a degree) got tied together. And the fact is, the most unsuccessful marriages in the Islamic world is the secular one, the kind many Muslims get tied together nowadays. Personally, I don't see the practicality of getting to know intimately the person you're getting married to. For me, I can know a lot about my future spouse from my/her relatives, acquiantances, friends and etc. It suffices for me that she's modest, responsible, shy and a Muslima who practices her deen. Experience has shown, knowing intimately your future spouse doesn't guarantee success; it could contribute to its demise. In fact, once you get married to a person, and come to live with under one roof, you're going to discover a new person, you will no longer recognize the person you intimately knew.

[Castro]

Originally posted by rayaana:

AssalaMu Alaikum brothers and sisters.

 

Iam shocked and despondent of what i read. Knowing especially that such has been written by

ADULT, BELIEVING MUSLIMS

That's right, it is shocking. Hibo, Bishaaro, Keyf and others, you people wanna have your cake and eat it too. You want to obey god's laws while improvising and using culture as an excuse.

 

There is no dating in Islam. The chaperoning thing is a joke. Every tried it? It's basically an interview conducted on a sofa with a stiff sitting between the two of you. There is dating in Somali culture. No chaperon required. Islam and Somalinimo are not the same and many times they're conflicting. This has nothing to do with western style dating. That's another type altogether.

 

So either come out and say no dating in Islam. And therefore, we will not date. Or say we're not really gonna follow the Islamic way but we're gonna do it the Somali way. Bada bim bada bum.

[Castro]

Originally posted by Haddad:

For me, I can know a lot about my future spouse from my/her relatives, acquiantances, friends and etc. It suffices for me that she's

modest

,

responsible

,

shy

and a Muslima who practices her

deen

.

These are all medieaval ways of marrying. They're changing everywhere. The Korniesh in Cairo was a popular destination for those dating and engaged. The held hands and god knows what else.

 

While the mullahs are preaching, the people are quietly doing what they want. And this is causing even further alienation of the mullahs and those who speak like them.

[Haddad]

Originally posted by OG_Girl:

Masha-Allah since every one and each of you here became 'al-mofti, wa Aalem fe Share'at Rabi'.

Sister, I do not claim to be a mufti or aleem, though I plan to do a degree in Islamic studies in the future, insh'Allah. Do you know about online Islamic universities where a degree in Islamic studies is offered (possibly for a nominal fee, or for free)?

[Salma]

Its too weird really what some people would do to beautify the UGLY things. But,at the end,no matter what they try: Ugly things remain ugly.

 

Halaal is Halaal and Haraam is Haraam, the Dark is Dark and the Light is Light. Just stop decorating the Haraam and beautifying the ugly things. It won't work at all.