im serious - no jokes plz

[silent-sistah]

this is me, being real, i really dont know why. but im going to pour my heart out---well half of it, not everything.

 

i just want to know, how long does it take a person to get over love?

 

see, my dilema is, i was seriously in-love with this guy, it was over a year ago, it will be 2 years in september since we broke-up. the thing is i cant cant get back with him because after we split he went somalia and got married. and ever since the second week we broke up, i been regretting breakin-up with him, i really cant get over him.

dont laugh, im serious

 

on the real, i never want to get back with him (in my head) that option is never an option, i mean i dont do married men. and he did a few bad things, so most ma family dont like him.

 

 

i can say i am not as bad as i used to be, i dont cry over him no more, and im over playing with re-bounds, <---i still cant believe i did that)

 

but sometimes, he creeps back into ma head, and the feelings all come rushing back.

 

plz tell me there is hope and that one day i can wake up and not think about him at all

[Arwa]

OMG all this comming from you my Silent_sistah? :eek:

 

Read this sis, i once came across it and it made perfect sense to me

__________________________

 

i hear people frequently wallowing in a maze of regrets because of some failure in love....

Love is a journey of choice at best it is fragile.... Looking back on numerous love losses and hurts there are regrets and

things i'll never regret....

I've learned to love beyond regrets, I'll never regret having had a chance to love a

special person who in turn loved me too...to share joy, happiess, and much more... from each love experience i've...learned that love is a chance.... and you always recover from hurts and losses...so don't let

past regrets close the doors to new love possibilities...learn to love beyond your regrets....

-------------------

 

Also macaan, Islamicly speaking (Casa an tuxibu shaian wahoha sharon lakum), sometimes the things we love may not be best for us over all.

 

You should thank Allah that it did not work out, you already stated that even your family did not approve of him for certain behaviours he had, right?

 

Have no regret macaanaay, and hope for the best Insha'Allah

 

Salaam

[nuune]

it takes time to recover from that kind of situation, but make sure you don't take much time, it is really very sad, but keep one thing in mind, ka soco, waxani waa adduunyo, ka fakkir mustaqbalka soo socdo and don't look back of what u have experienced.

[Bambina]

Salam Alaykum ,

 

Silent-Sistah , there are truly no recipes to get over someone you loved as quickly as possible. You cant know how long it will take to heal the wounded heart but you can do your best and live your life without having any regrets.

 

Though I never had a relationship with men , I had friendships with guys that had gone sour .Once ,it took me 2 years to let go off of someone who wasnt even worth it.Here's my advice , dont repress your feelings , your regrets , your memories of him . Just accept the fact that you hurt and will get over him inshallah and when you do that you will wake up one day noticing that you slept without thinking about him.It worked for me.

[HONEY-D]

I beleve you broke up with him for a reason so long as you keep reminding urself The cause of the break up you will get over him eventually. You must somewhat find the strength to cope and get him out of ur system for good for whatever he was he's gone now move on. Suppose you never broke up with him in the first place or he never got married and you somewhat managed to get him back do you honestly think you could've been happy couple if not, then i dont see why you're regretting for loosing him after all you werent match made in haven were you.

[LuCkY]

I Wish I COuLd HeLP SiLEnt-Sistah.Just Remember to Keep Ya Head Up and HopefuLLy You WiLL Find Someone Better That Deserves Ya Loving.Like Honey-D said There is a Reason You Broke Up With Him so DONt Sweat it.

[Abdinuur]

Start going out again, fall in love wit someone again. The more you go out and date other guys (may be similar to your ex...similar characteristics), you'd get over him. Isnt that what we do fellas?

 

They say that when you send out real love, true love will return to you...kinda like what goes around comes around...so go for it.

[Salafi_Online]

Innalhamdulillah...Wa salamu alaykum

 

it was over a year ago, it will be 2 years in september since we broke-up

HUh these words are foreign to me...what do you mean you broke up...You where not married to him? were You dating for two years...and your family was aware of this?

 

May Allah save us from earning the wrath of Allah...Sister this is not love what your experiencing..By allah love is only produced when people love each other for the pleasure of Allah...and how can you love each other for the sake of Allah when your doing and act with is free from Islam? ...Sis the cure lies in returning to Allah...Seeking his forgiveness..pouring out your heart to him...and He will replace your lost with something better, that which is Halal...BEWARE OF ZINA...ITS ONE OF THE GREATEST SINS IN The SIGHT OF ALLAH!

[OG_Girl]

wallalo easy on the girl if these words are foreign to u, is exist and happens plus she did not say she did "zina" a'odu bellah. All she asked was advice so please don't give things more than it deserves.

let me back to the topic , girl I will tell ayeyo who allowed u to love bal? No love before marriage or I will tell her

 

salam

[Salafi_Online]

Innalhamdulillah...Wa salamu alaykum

 

she did not say she did "zina" a'odu bellah.

Sis May Allah shower you with his blessings..I did say She did it...it was a general advice and warning to all those who read it...Indeed our beloved Messageer (SaaS),said,'the religion is advice."

 

Therefore i advice her to make tawbah(return to Allah)...

 

Allaah – the Most High – has placed in everyone that He has created, a heart which must be filled; either with submission and servitude to Allaah, or with submission and servitude to other than Allaah. Every single heart has feelings, desires and inclinations. The question is: will those feelings, desires and inclinations be directed to Allaah alone, or will they be directed to other than Allaah?

[silent-sistah]

salaam,

 

kynda : thanx for the quote sis, i really dont regret falling in love, and thats what gets me. see, i could get over him, but the love.....thats got me strung.

 

nuune:

walaahi i wish i had selective memory...then i guess i would have a problem with the ka socod! --right? (then again i might make the saem mistakes repeatedly)

 

bambina:

sis, u pu t a big rock on my heart, u just told me i got 50/50 chance to live...seriously, im waiting for some 1 to say they felt love, and moved on, i know i probably wont get it...like u said aint no recipe<---i dont want the recipe---i just want an estimated time--how long will it take me to recover...i understand u said u havent experienced love/relationship.......but thanx for your in-put it was great

 

Honey-D

well, i wrote a letter...giving me all the reasons that its best me and him are appart...and when i used to get the urge to call him i would read it, to remind me not to....however, that letter is hidden in an old shoe box ontop of ma wardrobe, and i havent looked at it for while...i know i dont want this guy...but all i wanna know is, how far behind is my heart from my head...since my head realised a year ago it was a mistake, why is my heart so far behind?

 

lucky:

:rolleyes: refer to my previous statement...please. let me know if u or anyone u know went through anything similar.

 

kaafi:

kadafi.....the thing is, i didnt fancy this guy. and i am the type of person to make a big deal about age and looks..so he wasnt my ideal person. and like i said before, i really did try re-bound, but walaahi its a waste of time, there is no point in dating guys if u dont intend to get serious...i mean, i could be in-it for the game then the guy gets serious, and im not even into him.....i know they say what goes around comes around but it aint fair! for me to hurt a guy or play him just coss some git done it to me...

 

salafi-online:

walaalo, dont judge me. i said me and the guy broke-up, i.e. ended our relationship and contact over a year ago (2 years in september) i did not say we was dating for 2yrs!,,,,and as for my family knowing,,,i aint with my parents...but all my close family knew.....therefore me and the guys intentions werent bad, we did plan on marriage...and we werent sleeping 2gether if thats what you are assuming.

 

my Aunt says : ' waxii qarsoon qudhun ba ku jiraa' = whatever is hiden has rotten content!

 

therefore i have never found reason to hide much from my family. i would only hide what is ceeb and this wasnt---its part of life.

 

OG_Girl:

 

cheers babes...

[OG_Girl]

Salafi, accept my appology wallalo, some times I am crazy not all the time ..lol.Thanx for ur du'a . Ameen

 

Salam

[OG Moti]

Silent Sista... take it from me... age counts when it comes to these kinds of advices.. i am qualified for giving the only good advice in this matter,... here it comes:

 

Love is a dream it exist ... but what you feeling for him is not love .. it is just jelousy and ego....see if he was still single you wouldnt even think about him, just because he got married .. and u still single.. it makes u feel bad about it and it makes u feel u lost the battle...think of it like this It was not A BATTLE - make your self busy.. read academic books .. they make you keep in touch with reality, dont read SHE magazine, or MSN.com and how to keep your man in 10 steps and how to steal man .. these articles will only make u live in dream world, read serious articles and in no time it will be like he never existed... peace

[Som@li]

^^^i 110% agree with u man, one of the main reason u can't forget him is that he is married.u may be feeling the reason u broke up was ur fault,,i advcie u like rest of the nomads here to move on. and everthing happens are not in our control.

 

BTw did u live in the same city,adn how often do u see him? to get over him u must not see him, hear frm him, or u can take extrreme steps and leave the area he lives for a while.

[rudy-Diiriye]

sista u look way down in your heart and say ce la vie! its life!!

i know that i went through a list! some married some not! and i happy to say that, they are still my friends!na'mean! we still call each during happy occasions like babe births n stuff! no need to be jerkish!!! life is too short 4 that!!

 

but yes! when u your x partner gets married, it does drive a deep wound through your heart!! its just a human feeling!! aigt!

 

aint nothing u can do but progress fwd! be happy for them and then move on! thats the magic word! our foolish hearts will play with us but you must belief your mind to forget about!! by doing alot of soul searching like reading the Koran and talking to friends and relative u trust who can relate to you! if u look 4 answers, u can always find them! just dont keep it inside looked up! that will really torment u!!

 

its not end but the beginning of a new dawn!! think of it that way!! and knowing u! any man, will be lucky to get your hands walaahi!! i say that from what i have seen!!lololololol...