Children: The glue that holds a somali marriage?

[Buuxo]

Children is a main factor,if it did not hold marriages together.How do you explain odayaasha marrying young fertile women? below twentys, if they didn't want to produce like rabbits ama isku yareen.Walaahi odayaasha wey is dibaan, its like they raising kids all their life.

You right, it is habit for somalis to make silly comments like that but you should ignore it.

[-Lily-]

my Habaryar had 4 daughters in a row and people pressured her husband to marry another wife that would give him sons and he did and had two other daughters! But now daughters are more productive, supportive, accomplishing than sons.

He must be the only person in the world who still has not caught on that it depends on the MAN to produce male or female, if anything it’s the woman that should have left him for being incapable of producing a son.

 

The whole idea behind having 100 children was so that they could help you out in the old nomadic days. My geography teacher said so

[MAXIMUS POWERS]

Children shouldnt be the only reason why a couple should stay together. I think there needs be companionship before anything else. If you have a strong base (mutual respect, understanding and similar interests) children become a secondary factor. Somalis are quick to have children, there needs to be family planning. I plan to travel the world, work then finally in my 30's have children. having children is a serious responsibility and for this reason they need to come into a happy and loving environment.

[Fabregas]

Back home, in the nomadic scene, plenty of Children were needed to help look after the camels, support the family and whatnot.Another important reasons was to have extend the numbers of the clan.

 

The West is slightly different. A farax can have plenty of kids, but still get them fed, clothed and free schooling;tanag you income support. A farax can spend most of his time socializing away from home (makhayada)...coming only after maghrib or Cisha!

 

Now, the above is a way to raise children, but I know some many Faraxz that live like that in the UK. Though I suspect those tendencies will change and it wouldn't be a surpise to see Somali Men doing the dishes... :eek:

[Buuxo]

^why the shocked face, only doing dishes ...they should be doing that n more. You reminded me of a mother that was making a duca 'ilaahayo wiilkeyga ha u guurin nagaa tiraahdo diaperska ka bixi caruurta' :eek:

[-Lily-]

^^Women shooting themselves in the foot :rolleyes:

[Fabregas]

Originally posted by Cabdiyo Cabdi:

^why the shocked face, only doing dishes ...they should be doing that n more. You reminded me of a mother that was making a duca 'ilaahayo wiilkeyga ha u guurin nagaa tiraahdo diaperska ka bixi caruurta' :eek:

Waa Hoyo fican and she made a good dua!

[Buuxo]

^Typical.Soo munana dhalin.

 

Lily exactly , walaahi dumarka wax ka xaasidsan majirto.

[sheherazade]

No, newbie, they don't hold jack ish together, certainly not in polygamous societies.

 

PS: Castro, had I known you'd delurked, I'd have come to watch.

[Pujah]

Well many dysfunctional families do hide behind their children. Obviously they have other reasons for sticking around mainly fear of the unknown but they always claim to be stuck with him/her for the sake of the kids :eek:

[Ms DD]

Hello Pujah Long time no see

You are right there. Most people always fear of the unknown i.e after marriage.

 

Castro

Typical male answer, your problem is ..you are too honest

 

Maryan..welcome walaalo.

 

Kids dont hold anything together (sometimes). If anything they break down relationship..from what I have seen.

[Castro]

Originally posted by Ms DD:

Castro

Typical male answer, your problem is ..you are too honest

Typical? Probably not, but I am honest. And you must be single.

 

Ciao Sheh. We gotta stop meeting like this.

[Blessed]

Considering the high divorce rate in our community, I don't know how anyone can come to such a conclusion. :confused:

 

 

Originally posted by Adam-Zayla:

Why ''Somali Marriage'' why not simply ''marriage''

 

why is it always one rule for the entire planet and another for us?

 

LOL. ...off course our own relatives are always the exception to the rule.

 

 

Originally posted by Pujah:

Well many dysfunctional families do hide behind their children. Obviously they have other reasons for sticking around mainly fear of the unknown but they always claim to be stuck with him/her for the sake of the kids :eek:

and the poor kids get abused in the process..

[SCORPION_SISTA]

Originally posted by Castro:

quote:Originally posted by SCORPION_SISTA:

Although I must say if it is sex it has to be a

variable sex

Ok, I'll bite. Tell me more.

It means that people aren't staying together just because they are having sex, they are staying together because they are having amazing, fanstastic, phenomenal, and variety filled sexual relationships...Despite man and woman marrying for different reasons, neither one can stand eating the same dish over and over and over again.

 

But by then in the marriage most of them have already had their first child if not the second one and then afterward it's just for comfort and fear of raising a child on your own.

[Castro]

^^^^ That's deep.

 

I would bet you that many people are not having "amazing, fanstastic, phenomenal, and variety filled sexual relationships". That's just the stuff of movies.

 

We're all speculating here though. Marriage is definitely the most complex endeavor I've ever engaged in. And I sure prefer it to being unmarried. Most of the time.