Children: The glue that holds a somali marriage?

[Ashkiro]

Salams Everyone,

 

First of all, I must say that this is a nice forum, more active than other forums I have encountered. Anyhow Greetings with Salams. Secondly, I feel like starting a topic, now there are thousands of topics here and this maybe repeat for some.

 

Let me introduce myself, I am a girl and I am an only child, and a Somali lol. My parents (Allah bless them) and I have a very close relationship, not only are they my parents but also close friends. Anyhow, not to bore you, whenever people ask my mother/father, after seeing me and then the manshallahs, comes the question: How many kids? Marka loo jawaabo, haltaan gabar, you would think someone died. "Hal ka liiah"? But then comes the du'a (For me-Ameen Allahyahow, waan duceeysanhay, although i would say its a pity du'a, but nonetheless du'a is always great in my book alhamdullah). Then there is also the other side, my father and I talk as ive mentioned we are very close, in which people say maxaa naagtaan iyo gaberteeda wili u aag fadhiida?" Somali waa daad cajiib ah bal max ka galeey?. To shorten this, I have come to the conclusion from my observations, as I know my father and men like my father are one in a million perhaps in a billion (I love my Abo), that it is children that holds somali marriages together, marriage is all about children without children=misery. It is nearly impossible for a somali men to stick with his wife through thick and thin, and it seems to always be the case when a couple is childless the fault is must be from the woman's side. What a lovely dhaqan eh.

[Che -Guevara]

Soo dhawoow.

 

That said my father is one in trillion. I can't say enough about him On serious note, it's foolish to blame the woman, but one shouldn't be faulted if he decides that he/she wants his own biological child. Of course, one party would be hurt in the process.

[Som@li]

It is time Aabo aad u raadin lahayd Minyaro, with Hooyo's blessing ofcourse,lol

[Castro]

Originally posted by Maryan Run:

To shorten this, I have come to the conclusion from my observations .... that it is children that holds somali marriages together, marriage is all about children without children=misery. It is nearly impossible for a somali men to stick with his wife through thick and thin, and it seems to always be the case when a couple is childless the fault is must be from the woman's side. What a lovely dhaqan eh.

Ahh, another self-hating Maryooley. Welcome, this site is chock full of people you'll identify with.

 

Atheer sex is what holds marriages together. If the sex is no good, the marriage won't last very long. Two years, tops.

 

Your dad may be special but if he weren't happy in that department, he would have bailed. Count your blessings.

 

Welcome aboard.

[Che -Guevara]

^LoooooooooooooL...That might just explain Rudy's dissatisfaction with his Xalimos. Aight ppl, you heard from the best, Castro's guide to successful marriage.

[Som@li]

^Labadiina Qawsaar oo isku nacamleeynaya, Gabadha Meesha ku cusub iska taga,

[money]

Maryan run, you are blessed and a lot of people wish they were in your position! Yours is a very inspirational! ilaah ha kuu saa'idiyo!

 

There are many thing that hold marriages togather and kids are part of those..but let me tell you one thing about the favoritism given to sons over daughters in our culture...

 

my Habaryar had 4 daughters in a row and people pressured her husband to marry another wife that would give him sons and he did and had two other daughters! But now daughters are more productive, supportive, accomplishing than sons.

 

Soomaaliya iyo Afrika waxaa looga duceeystaa ilaahow gabar dibadda ii geey! waayoo gabdhihii badankood wax beey barteen, waxeey noqdeen nurses, pharmacists, lab technologists....mana hilmaamaan eheladoodii kana naxariis badan wiilasha. wiilashii waa mid taxi waday, truck fuulay, qaad cuna, xaas noqday oo ilmahiisa ...iyo xaaskiisa ka badan waayay nolosha qurbaha oo adag darteed....iskool badankood waa ka habsaameeyn ama waa iskaaga tageen... markaa lacag badan ma sameeyaan oo garab rarato meesha gabdhuhu professionals noqdeen lacag fiican sameeya ....at least in North America

[Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar]

Let me introduce myself, I am a girl and I am an only child, and a Somali lol. My parents (Allah bless them) and I have a very close relationship, not only are they my parents but also close friends. Anyhow, not to bore you, whenever people ask my mother/father, after seeing me and then the manshallahs, comes the question: How many kids? Marka loo jawaabo, haltaan gabar, you would think someone died. "Hal ka liiah"?

Marka hore soo dhawoow.

 

And being an only child to your parents is a bit rare in Soomaali family settings. As a son from a 22-siblings family, I don't know how it feels being an only child.

 

Aabahaana waa raggeedi not listening the garbage those people spew, suggesting in uu guursado naag kale. Castro ayaana kasii daran on here. Segis iyo segsi labadaba beel.

[cynical lady]

NO. Who lied to you? Children don’t hold a Somali marriage dear it’s the illusion that it does that gets most of the Somali woman in trouble. Popping those kids like a coca cola vending machine in the hope that he will stick around and somehow those poor kids will transform the already decaying marriage bulshidh.

 

Using a child as means of insuring your men sticks around “through thick and thin” seriously come on.

 

No children = misery stuff and nonsense.

 

p.s wlc to SOL

[Malika]

^LOL..Heh,true!

 

Sometimes one wonders if men trully do like having children, do they get in the way of their pleasured plans..Lol.

 

Are children another extension of their male ego..waryahee dee ninkii hebeel wuxuu leyahay labataan ciyaal aa..bless!

 

Anywho,Maryan welcome to SOL.

[Chimera]

Why ''Somali Marriage'' why not simply ''marriage''

 

why is it always one rule for the entire planet and another for us?

 

according to some we are incapable of being romantic...but the moment we suprise you with a rose we are called tuti fruities

 

Maryan i will let you in on a secret; we Somali men are actually Androids patched together by a group of Somali female scientists

 

so it's your fault we are like this....

[cynical lady]

[NGONGE]

Subtext: I am the reason why my parents stayed together. Bow before the only child.

[SCORPION_SISTA]

Salaam and welcome Maryan,

 

My parents only have two children(both are girls) and most of people are always surprised by it and often ask if my father has another wife with other children

 

Castro, you would think that, but according to married people that doesn't seem to be it...Although I must say if it is sex it has to be a variable sex

[Castro]

Originally posted by SCORPION_SISTA:

Although I must say if it is sex it has to be a

variable

sex

Ok, I'll bite. Tell me more.