Honour killings

[Valenteenah.]

I read an article in the Evening Standard yesterday which made me sit up and take notice. It was about the disappearance and suspected 'honour' killing of a young Sikh Mother about five years ago. I couldn't find that specific article on the Newspaper's website, but I was able to find several news items about the issue.

 

I think that sometimes (well, ok...most times) we take our men for granted, and more often than not we carp, condemn and criticise them over the littlest thing, but we rarely acknowledge how good (and harmless ) they are to us when compared with other cultures.

 

Having read some of the following articles, I can't help but feel lucky to have been born Somali, because whatever other problems there maybe, there's no doubting that the Somali woman is held in the highest regard within her culture and country. As a female, I have nothing to fear from Somali men. I know no matter what I get upto, no one will want to end my life for it (however shameful)...not my father, and definitely not any of my other male relatives.

 

Some of you might think that, not being killed for a decision to leave home, marry a non-Somali or divorce your husband, should be a given, i.e. your human right, but there are millions of women across the world who don't have such basic rights or the security and peace of mind we have as Somali women wherever we may be. Maybe we should count our blessings more often.

 

Sorry if I went on too long, but it was something I was thinking about all last night.

 

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Riddle of the mother who vanished

 

Tracy McVeigh

Sunday July 22, 2001

The Observer

 

Surjit Athwal had made a life-changing decision. At 26, the British customs officer had decided to take her two young children and leave her Middlesex home and the arranged marriage that had made her so miserable.

It was a brave step but one that may have cost her life. In December 1998 she went to India for a family wedding, leaving her children at home with her husband in Hayes.

 

Surjit, then 26, never came back. The return portion of her air ticket remained unused and no one has seen her since. Her credit card was last used when she bought a bottle of perfume on the plane.

 

Her family, who live in Coventry, are facing an agonising wait as the Indian authorities try to identify several bodies thrown up by recent floods in the area, while in the UK the police are offering a £10,0000 reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of anyone responsible for Surjit's disappearance.

 

It is the second unusual step for the British police in what is still being treated as a missing-person inquiry. The first was when two officers were sent to India to interview the villagers who last saw the slim-built young mother. The overwhelming feeling is that Surjit is dead.

 

Her impending divorce and Western dress would not have made this hard-working mother popular among villagers steeped in the traditional culture of Punjab. It's a region known for so-called 'honour killings' of wives - where a friend or relative of a deserted husband will sometimes take it upon themselves to take murderous revenge.

 

Surjit's husband divorced her in her absence and is now bringing up the two children, aged three and 11, in Hayes.

 

He has denied any involvement in Surjit's disappearance and also believes she has run away. It is not a theory accepted by Jagdeesh Singh, Surjit's brother, or the rest of her family who have kept up a tireless campaign to find out what befell her. Her father, Mohinder Pal Singh, has been out to India to search for his daughter while her mother has been made ill by despair.

 

'There have been anonymous letters and phone calls from men telling us Surjit has been murdered and her body dumped in a river,' said Singh. 'The last two years have been agony, torturous, for all of us.'

 

Nor is the runaway theory accepted by Detective Sergeant Ian Mill who is in charge of the investigation into Surjit's disappearance.

 

'The family have accepted that she is dead and there is nothing we have to suggest otherwise,' he said. 'We are now awaiting the identification of the bodies which the Indian authorities apparently have but we would still appeal for anyone who has any information about what has happened to Surjit to come forward.'

 

Amnesty International may also consider taking up Surjit's case. 'It does bear some of the hallmarks of an "honour killing" of the kind that Amnesty International has been investigating and reporting for many years,' said a spokeswoman.

 

'"Honour killings" occur where a family or society's honour is seen to be closely bound up in a woman's conduct. Where a woman is perceived to have brought shame or dishonour on her family - for having an affair or for simply wishing to divorce her husband, or indeed just as a trumped-up excuse for getting rid of her - then a family member or friend may decide to put the woman to death, supposedly in "defence of their honour".

 

'Suspected "honour killings" and other human rights abuses must be fully investigated and the perpetrators brought to justice. It is vital that all UK citizens receive support from all our state institutions, in particular the Foreign Office.'

 

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[Valenteenah.]

'Honour killing' casts medieval shadow over India

 

Special report: India and Pakistan

 

Patralekha Chatterjee in New Delhi

Monday November 20, 2000

The Guardian

 

A scuffle breaks out among photographers outside the central bureau of investigation headquarters in Delhi. A rotund woman in her 50s in a flowing white robe, a dagger slung across her shoulders and her head covered as religiously ordained, steps out of a white car with tinted windows.

Flowerpots are smashed as television crews and snappers jostle for a glimpse of Bibi Jagir Kaur. But she remains unruffled, a confident half-smile flitting across her lips.

 

Ms Kaur is under pressure to quit as head of the shiromani gurdwara prabandhak committee (SGPC), which controls key Sikh shrines across India. She is the first woman to hold the post.

 

Earlier this month Ms Kaur was charged with the murder of Harpreet, her pregnant 19-year-old daughter. The SGPC chief has been freed on police bail.

 

Last year in Begowal, a village in Punjab, India's richest state, Harpreet married 21-year-old Kamaljeet Singh in secret. Ms Kaur did not approve - Mr Singh was poor and had cut his hair, against Sikh practise.

 

In April this year Harpreet died in mysterious circumstances while staying in a relative's house at her mother's behest. She had been led to believe that her family was prepared to accept Mr Singh and would formally organise a wedding ceremony.

 

Harpreet was cremated and her ashes disposed of the same day, breaking Sikh tradition. Her family claimed there had been no marriage between Mr Singh and Harpreet and that the latter had died of food poisoning.

 

Less than 24 hours after the cremation, Mr Singh contacted the police and produced photographs of the wedding ceremony, which had been attended by his parents at Begowal. He claimed Ms Kaur was using her political influence to suppress and destroy evidence. He also sought protection for himself and his family.

 

The Indian media describe the case as an "honour killing". But Ms Kaur's supporters claim that she is a victim of internal feuds within the Sikh political establishment.

 

Across the border, in Pakistan, "honour killings" are rampant. Scores of women are killed every year for allegedly bringing shame on their husband or family. Women's deaths are explained away on "the flimsiest of grounds", according to Amnesty International.

 

But Punjab on both sides of the border shares the same feudal ethos. "Prosperity has not has the slightest effect on patriarchy in Punjab," says Veena Kumari, a women's rights activist and lawyer .

 

A petition before the Punjab state human rights commission by lawyer Ranjan Lakhanpal, based in the Punjabi capital, Chandigarh, triggered the murder inquiry. He said: "This is the most famous, but certainly not the first, honour killing in Punjab.

 

"In rural Punjab, a girl wanting to marry a boy of her choice against parental wishes runs the risk of being killed especially if the boy is from another caste, religion, income bracket or community. In the last five years I have dealt with four such cases. None have led to convictions because such cases are almost impossible to prove. All traces of the dead body are spirited away."

 

For a country trying to position itself as a software superpower and a key player in the big league this century, the Harpreet murder case is a painful reminder that digital India must cope with medieval India.

 

 

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Justice with a vengeance

 

While Pakistan tries to reinvent itself as a progressive and moderate country, it is struggling to get to grips with some of its most ancient - and brutal - tribal traditions, writes Rory McCarthy

 

Friday July 26, 2002

Guardian Unlimited

 

Later today a court in the town of Dera Ghazi Khan in central Pakistan will begin to hear the extraordinary story of how a tribal council ordered four men to rape a young woman in a brutal punishment.

Local landlords, government officials and policemen stood by as the rape was carried out. It was a just decision, they said to themselves, because her 11-year-old brother was having a relationship with a woman from a higher caste.

 

The Pakistani authorities only intervened after accounts of the stunning ruling began to fill local newspapers. Human rights officials say dozens of similar tribal decisions pass unnoticed every year. Frequently the rule of law appears to count for little.

 

Yet Pakistan is not on the surface an anarchic state. It is not in the grip of rival warlords like its neighbour Afghanistan. For the past three years Pakistan has been ruled by the tightly-controlling military. Many people welcomed General Pervez Musharraf when he seized power in a coup because they believed he would at the very least enforce the law.

 

Pakistan's armed forces are the eighth largest in the world and the state lavishes millions of pounds on their upkeep every year. As a result Pakistan has a considerable nuclear armoury, a vast army which swallows up at least a quarter of the state's annual budget and a huge intelligence network based around at least seven separate spy agencies.

 

However, despite this apparent strength the official legal and judicial systems frequently lose out to brutal and bigoted tribal traditions.

 

In another case this week four convicted murderers who were sentenced to hang agreed to sell their young daughters to their victims' relatives to escape the death sentence. Two girls aged 14 and 15 were already married to men aged 55 and 77 before the authorities intervened.

 

Police broke up a third wedding in the village in which an 18-year-old girl was being married to a man aged 80. Two more girls, aged three and five, were also being lined up for marriage. Local landlords and government officials sanctioned the deal, which was to end a five-decade family feud, without a second thought.

 

Much of the problem lies with the continued poor status of women in this male-dominated culture. One of Gen Musharraf's first promises after the coup was to enforce the law that honour killing, a tribal tradition which sanctions the killing of women who are deemed to have slighted family honour, will be treated as murder. But his words have made little difference to the appalling statistics of brutality against women.

 

"Women continue to be seen as possessions of men, as something that can be just given away, like cattle or gold," said Kamila Hyat, joint director of the Human Rights Commission of Pakistan.

 

These cases and the dozens more like them that slip pass unnoticed every year also show how fragile is the rule of law in Pakistan. Jirga justice, the power of tribal councils to impose their own punishments, appears to be gathering strength while the power of the judiciary appears to be weakening.

 

"The growing uncertainty about protection of law and the failure of the justice system to deliver are clearly important factors," the respected Dawn newspaper said in an editorial today. This vacuum is being increasingly filled by traditional systems and institutions."

[Qac Qaac]

woow Barwaaqo yeah, i guess the somali women are very lucky. and yeah as a man i would never kill my reletive girls. no way. thanks for the post.

[Iffah]

^^ Lol.Qac'Qac. That's good to know.

 

Barwaaqo, thanks for sharing that with us sis. I knew all along that our men are good..lol.

But, we should be saying Alxamdulillah because Allah chose Islam for us.

 

I should finish reading the articles first before commenting...but I just had to say that. I shall finish it..

[Lefty]

what do these particular incidents got to do with Somalis' behaviour. Do you know Some Somalis already have done it and others are capable of doing more worst than these.

 

Besides these exact stories or more similar ones could happen to anyone including Somalis. The bottom line is that's their way of living and there's no surprise at all, you should concentrate yours.

[PhiL]

My friend has told me of a book that depicts honour killing as being part of Islam. I don't know if you are familiar with "Forbidden Love" by Norma Khoumeni or other, but she's this Jordanian woman who is totally spreading lies about Islam.

If u have the chance, read the book and see what U think of it yourelf!.. Personally, I don't if i should read something that's so blatantly a lie... what do u think???

[Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar]

Salaan...

 

Originally posted by BARWAAQO:

I think that sometimes (well, ok...

most times

) we take our men for granted, and more often than not we carp, condemn and criticise them over the littlest thing, but we rarely acknowledge how good (and harmless

) they are to us when compared with other cultures.

Aah, Barwaaqo, you just made my habeen. :cool: Believe me, I can sleep sound-fully tonight.

 

As an age where every movement and action by Soomaali men had been disapproved, frowned, condemned, scorned, reviled, berated and deemed out of time, it thus finally feels great to see those rejoicing words from a humble sister. It deligths us much, and we Soomaali men appreciate much.

 

And if only others were LIKE you or digged those astute words you've wrote.

________________

 

Macsalaama.

[raula]

Barwaaqo, thx for sharing the stories.

Honestly, Iam confused about the whole somali-nice notion. Even though I didn't grow up in the country, I used to hear all this nice/good deeds/values about Somali people, but after the civil war, I seriously dont know what to believe. I mean, I have heard of some horrific, mind-jittering horrandeous tales that till now, have not yet settled in my mind. All, I can say is that, when one truely believes in the Islamic teachings and guidance, they will be able to escape the temptations of evil-doings in this world. But alhamdulilahi, I haven't come across such an incident yet, and I hope not...

 

 

I once read (long time ago) a book called: Not without my daughter by Betty Mahmoudi. In USA, I think they even have an old movie that potrays the story...but this doesn't quite capture the exact true essence of the words in the book.

[hacker1]

in asia minor, its true that women face alot of abuse. for example, if women ignores a man's advances she could face things like acid thrown on her face etc.,

but i disagree with the notion that in the nomad culture that some women do not face brutal actions from thier husbands! it has happened in usa and still happening in everywhere from dc to mn. have u heard of the lady who shot her boy friend in dc and then killed herself because she was scorned! what about the mn mall incident where the brother cut his girl friends throat with a knife while she was at work. this one really caused shock waves through the nomad community all over the world. so, my bit her is this, crime knows no color, religion or ethincity! it can happen anywhere any time. so as nomads, we too are human and prone to shamefull actions. may allah protect us all.

[wind talker]

BARWAAQO -

 

Way to live up to you're nick! For once a thread that sheds a positive light in Somali gender relations.

 

HACKER, Mr or Ms -

 

You must've woken up on the wrong side of the bed! I don't see the point of inflating our minds with more negativity in the one thread that spreads a positive message.

 

Besides, "honor killings" aren't considered a "crime" to some. If they were a "crime" to the perpertrators, then the word "honor" would certainly disappear wouldn't it? I think its unfair to judge others' cultural values n heritage by the standards of you're own.

 

Anyways, BARWAAQO, good message!

[Reality Check]

What does the actions of the Indian people have to do with Somali men? Every culture has its bad side ...even ours!

 

:rolleyes:

[Gediid]

Originally posted by Opinionated:

What does the actions of the Indian people have to do with Somali men? Every culture has its bad side ...even ours!

 

:rolleyes:

Dont you think you have exhausted this line?? :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

 

Thanks Barwaaqo for the article.This practice is not only confined to India but takes place in Bangaladesh,Nepal,Pakistan,Afghanistan and is also carried out more discreetly in some of the Arab countries.In most cases honor killings are carried out on mere speculation like seeing a girl walk down the street alongside a boy,but the most tragic case I heard was when a husband killed his wife claiming she was being unfaithful.The truth was he fell for her younger sister and under their strict family laws he would not divorce her so he killed her and ended up marrying the younger one as XAAL.Ironically there are laws that would bring these killers to court but they are never enforced.

[Xafsa]

I have often said we somali women are the most fortunate women in the islamic world. Thats not to say that somali men don't have their faults.....but relatively speaking we can't really complain.

Its sad that people are using islam as an excuse to take a life!....but Allah will take care of his religion.

 

I remember watching a report on 60 minutes a few years back and they were talking to this Jordanian guy about the death of his sister. HE said he shot his sister in the head before the whole family 'cause she was raped and was not "pure" anymore. HE was asked if he felt any remorse for killing his sister...his answer was no because he saved his family the agony of knowing that their daughter wasn't a virgin anymore....he said a girl has no value if she looses her virginity before her wedding night!

 

 

1luv

[Valenteenah.]

From the replies, I can see a lot of you are confused. Having read over the posts again, I can see my comments and the articles don't mesh. My apologies. I've got a nasty bout of flu, so please bear with me while I clear a few things up.

 

First, lets look at 'honour killings' in more depth. My choice of articles (quite unintentionally) seems to imply that such killings are culturally confined to Pakistan and India only. They are not, I just didn't have time to do a more thorough search. As Gediid pointed out honour killings occur in most of the Asia, Middle East and even in Europe.

 

What I find most disturbing is that although culture is blamed, most of the countries and societies that condone and encourage these type of killings are Muslim. There lies the paradox. Individual cultures and Islam...which one is more powerful? Seems pretty obvious when you look at such cases. In my book, murder is murder, no matter which language it is said in or where it is done. It is also never acceptable...except when it comes to women. There's nothing funny about how worthless female lives are in some parts of the world. The thinking seems to be "A small problem with a woman? Simple solution...kill her".

 

Lefty and Opinionated...

 

Personally, I can't look at things and then dismiss them as the problems of 'other' cultures easily. For one, I feel for those women, be they Indian, Pakistani or Arab. They didn't choose which culture they were born into, did they? For another, most of the women affected are Muslims. We are also Muslims, but we don't have such problems. Although we have a patriachal (and quite chauvinistic) society, honour killings aren't condoned by our culture. Therefore, we are quite lucky in that way.

 

"but i disagree with the notion that in the nomad culture that some women do not face brutal actions from thier husbands! it has happened in usa and still happening in everywhere from dc to mn. have u heard of the lady who shot her boy friend in dc and then killed herself because she was scorned! what about the mn mall incident where the brother cut his girl friends throat with a knife while she was at work. this one really caused shock waves through the nomad community all over the world. so, my bit her is this, crime knows no color, religion or ethincity! it can happen anywhere any time. so as nomads, we too are human and prone to shamefull actions. may allah protect us all. "

 

Hacker,

 

I agree with you there. I wasn't implying that there isn't violence against women in our community. Crime, violence, rape and all other nasty manner of things happen. The point I was trying to make was that none of these are seen as 'justified' or 'legitimate' in our society. It's seen as quite shameful actually, which is why its always swept under the carpet.

 

Finally, the Somali men issue...

 

Well, stating the obvious here... but I do kno that there are both good and bad men in our community. However, if we look around ourselves and observe, it becomes clear that we find it much easier to point out their short-comings rather than to praise their good points. I just realised that in proportion to the rest of the world, they are not too bad. Plus they worship the ground we walk on (however much they may protest). What else do we want?

 

Raula,

 

Darling, I'll have to come back and address ur points later. Gotta get some painkillers...I have a frigging migraine.

[Thinkerman]

It is a sad reality that many of these countries inhabited by muslims have shown a culture of brutality and shere inhumanity towards there women. Like many nomads have already stated in the asian penisular particular pakistan and Bangladesh the practise is somehat of a normality. Far be it for me to try and even delve into the religous authority or not of such acts, the most disturbing thing is the willingness and speed to which these brothers (and they are disturbingly) acting on whispers and whims to either difigure maim or kill there realtives.

 

May allah easy the suffering of our sisters where ever they may be.