SLEEPING AROUND

[sheherazade]

none of u have answered the girl's question! :rolleyes:

 

Swansea is in Wales, UK.

[Rahima]

I believe girls SHOULD rightly get more heat for this!

Why is that?

 

I mean, would give your daughter more heat over such issues than your son for example?

[Diamante]

^

Ever heard of of the saying "a girl only has her reputation whereas a guy only has his balls" (or somewhere along those lines)...anyway what i'm trying to say is since beginning of time these sort of debates have always arisen, and yet there is still no change in the way people percieve a girl's actions as opposed to that of the boys.

 

A girl shouldn't feel she is equal to a guy or will get an equal status if she sleeps around. I don't believe calling her names and the like is productive of stopping other girls from doing the same thing, but having a bit of self-respect wouldn't go amiss. At the end of the day it's up to you to make choices and to deal with the concequences of those choices and actions. If you're not able to deal with them then don't do it in the first place.

 

You can argue all you want at the end that you're not a ...(fill in the blanks), but when you go and destroy the bit of self-respect and reputation you have you shouldn't cry wolf. Baxarka adiga baa lugahaada ku raad satay.

 

We shouldn't look to other people and point the finger and say things like they're doing it too, why arn't they getting any names. Concentrate on what you did and what you're going to have to do to get out of that situation.

 

Note: If this has been said before then I apologise, I didn't have the time to go and read through all the replies.

 

Ciao

[J.Lee]

Rahima, from society's standpoint, the girl should be given more heat simply, because usually it's the girl who lets the guy "get it," or not. Basically, the boy can ask, but the decision is left up to the girl. She can either refuse like a good girl, or accept like a wh!re.

 

Originally posted by HALIMA ABDUL:

WHY IS IT THAT WHEN A GIRL SLEEPS WITH MEN SHE GETS CALLED A *** BUT A MAN GETS CALLED A HERO

Because we live in a patriarchal social system in which women are treated like second class citizens abaayo.

[Rahima]

What is and what should be are two different issues.

 

We know that society gives the girls more heat, but my point is why should we then condone such ideas-I mean we all acknowledge that the sin is equal and Allah does not discriminate.

 

Are you all saying that girls should know better simply because they are girls? What about the young man?

 

My point is basically, what is the difference and why should girls supposedly know better?

[sheherazade]

^there isn't!

[J.Lee]

Rahima, both sexes should know better in my opinion, but you asked why is that ?, in regard to Femme's statement, therefore I was explaining the reason why that is the case.

 

would give your daughter more heat over such issues than your son for example?

No,I wouldn't. What I would actually do to them is considered illegal in all 50 states.

[- Femme -]

would give your daughter more heat over such issues than your son for example?

Yes I would, and I'll tell you why. Because Allah entrusted the woman with the uterus...not a man. If she has sex..she can get pregnant...she also loses her virginity (whch some people can tell). A woman, therefore, has much more to lose than a man. She loses her dignity, respect, reputation, brings shame to her family, and might bring an innocent child into the world who would be ridiculed and shunned.

 

You can never tell if a man has had sex....but it is much more difficult for a woman to hide it. Allah can judge them in the hereafter....but right now...in this dunyah...a woman is incredibly stup!d if she thinks she should be treated equally like a man when she has much more to lose. Thats just common sense. I do not want my daughter (inshallah) to feel that in order to be equal to men---she also has to copy their bad habits and expect to be treated the same.

 

THe he did it---so it must be ok for me too! crap thats going around is making me barf!

[-Serenity-]

That’s all well and good Femme. Heck, that’s exactly what I tell my sisters. But it’s not a situation that I’m happy with. It’s these boys who instigate these girls to do these things. If society laid the same responsibility on these lusful little boys, we would stand a much better chance of averting all the problems and emotional damage to the young.

[Valenteenah.]

^ Do you mean they should be castrated? Isn't that harsh? Plus, how will our nation reproduce in the future?

 

Come to think of it....

[Xoogsade]

Gabdhaha, masaakiin, dhibkooda ma yaro runtii.

[- Femme -]

It’s these boys who instigate these girls to do these things

As you and every girl in the world...I am furious that there is a double standard when it comes how boys and girls and treated and judged. However, when it comes to the subject of sex, I think the responsiblity should be mainly placed squarely on the shoulders of the girl.

 

Of course, a guy can plead, flatter, impress, charm, as much as he is humanely able to...but it takes two to tango horizontally...the girl has to agree & in most cases he isnt twisting her arm behind her back. A girl knows that the consequences on that 5 seconds of pain/pleasure are more severe on her side...that's why she should think, be careful, and not blindly jump in the bandwagon just because she "loves him" & "he loves her"... and that this is just a "test" to see how they would "click" :rolleyes: :rolleyes: .

[Good-Credit]

Originally posted by Xoogsade:

Gabdhaha, masaakiin, dhibkooda ma yaro runtii.

walee run baa sheegtay...lool

[Rahima]

Femme,

 

The point is not whether or not we sisters should be more careful, I mean after all we do make the decision. I was trying to establish the argument that it is not fair that girls receive more heat over the same sin which two thinking individuals partake. It is for this reason that I asked you as to whether or not you would give your girls more heat over this matter than your sons. It is one thing for me to warn my daughters and give them the speech of how she will be left with the burden, face the scrutiny yada yada- heck I use those lines myself, but as a deterrent not because I actually think it’s fair and would actually implement the ways of these same people (who always scrutinize the girls whilst the boys get off almost scott free).

 

We need to make a clear distinction here; girls are not the only parents for any unwanted children. That child has a father and that father is responsible. If a young man were to impregnate a young woman (even if she was more than happy to do the deed), he still has responsibilities and if god forbid were it my son, that child would still be my grandchild. I need to give my sons just as much heat as my daughters for at the end of the day irrespective of whether he impregnates or she is impregnated, the resulting offspring is my flesh and blood, and morally, ethically religiously I have the responsibility of looking out for that child. It matters not who has the uterus; the son has a penis which makes him the father and hold him accountable for the life of that child.

 

This my sister is not about girls trying to feel equal, rather we need to change our ways. Society gives girls more heat, society outcasts such young girls whilst forgiving the young men because we allow society to be that way-in fact we make up society do we not? I mean even if we (those who want the rights of women to be upheld and who believe that such thinking is unfair) are willing to scrutinize our daughters more than our sons (and believe it is right to do so), then how are things and society as a whole supposed to change? If we raise our boys right, just like we do our girls, then the problems of promiscuity would gradually become a non-issue.

[- Femme -]

I was trying to establish the argument that it is not fair that girls receive more heat over the same sin which two thinking individuals partake. It is for this reason that I asked you as to whether or not you would give your girls more heat over this matter than your sons

I probably wouldnt (I have so much in store for my boys inshallah ). But I guess I would be more dissappointed in my daughter, b/c I expect her to be smarter.