Aaliyyah Posted February 15, 2007 Femme I know sis that a man in his 70s needs to be with some one as well, giving that we are all humans, and age is nothing but a number. But, I was implying as to some one who is in his 70s and whose married and perhaps with tons of children/ grandchildren, and he suddenly decides to leave his wife for another .... :rolleyes: wa salaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
STOIC Posted February 15, 2007 Crystal Clear, I personally don’t know your grannie nor your grandpa, but I think I do have some advice to share.First do understand that your grandparents are human and that things do happen for whatever reason. Partners who are close and interdependent (typical Somali home) do suffer more after breaking up. People seek to maximize the blame game when close ones excite negative emotions. Men and Women do respond differently; men are more likely to withdraw while women are more likely to be demanding support of the family members in the equation. A tug of family war occurs. You will be pushed to take sides.My advice would be to try to not take sides in this war. You have to understand that the same factors that contributed to the marriage of your grandparents can be the same things that intensified the stress of demanding separation. Because we are social beings, factors such as one partner wanting to idealize a different partner can be the cause (as you have alluded to the gossip that is going on about the grandpa). I don’t know how close the self and the other become so blurred in your grandparents relationship, nothing can be as painful as loosing your partner.Even when the circumstance is so painful and complex, your family will demand support and help at this times. Keep your head up and try to support both of your grandparents during this difficult time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LayZie G. Posted February 15, 2007 Actually, my Grandpa(allaah u-naxariisto, aamiin) re-married to a young 20something before he died many yrs ago and she had a son for him, my abti, the youngest abti I have ever had and he is 20 going 21. Overall my grandpa had a total of four wives while he was living, including my grandmother(allax u-naxariisto, aamiin), mother of my hooyo. She was the only smart one who divorced him when he wanted to marry a 2nd wife after having 7 children for him(this was when they were both on their prime) and ofcourse she wasn't about to let another one come through, so they divorced, and shortly after he went and re-married his 2nd wive at the time, had a son again, the 8th child of my late grandpa, then he divorced and went back to my grandma, then they shortly divorced, then he married his 3rd wife and not long after divorced. Many yrs later, after suffering a long term illness, and prior to his death decided to re-marry and this time what would be his final and fourth wife.. What was different from that final marriage to the young wife, and she couldn't have been more than 17/18 at the time was that he did it with my grandma's blessing. They forgave each other for all the bad blood over the years. It was blessed marriage, agreed by most of his children. He was survived by a young beautiful wife and a young son, and we all gained something from that marriage. What I'm trying to say here Gabar yahey oo falan AKA the poster is if your grandpa wants out or wants to get a 2nd, its his progative. At this stage, time is of the essence, if he feels that physically your grandma can't deliver, let a young lady do her job and she can either let him go or be there in name as a 1st wife. Either way, you can get a young habo or abti out of the deal?(win win situation) PS:Teeda kale, A.D.D maa qabtaa? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
- Femme - Posted February 15, 2007 ^in the first two paragraphs you sounded like you were sympthasizng with her situation. I should've known better! Some things never change. Edit... if he feels that physically your grandma can't deliver, let a young lady do her job and she can either let him go or be there in name as a 1st wife. Either way, you can get a young habo or abti out of the deal?(win win situation) That is just so wrong. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted February 15, 2007 Should Grandma divorce Grandpa? Sure. She should give him her blessings and gift him with a packet of viagra. Speedy heart attack, anyone? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LayZie G. Posted February 15, 2007 HEAR HEAR, how can I be wrong when it was wrong of you to doubt my sincerity, huh? (I bet u don't have an answer for that femme) You wanted mean, I gave u mean, but honestly, I was just laying it out for her, after all she opened the thread. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baluug Posted February 16, 2007 LOL Reading about the size of Layziegirl's family just makes me think about strange it must be to have so many brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, and uncles. I don't think I would be able to deal with so much family!! In my family, I have 2 sets of grandparents(obviously, my dad's parents and my mom's parents) Both grandparents had the typical size family for post-WWII. Dad's parents had 7 kids, and mom's parents had 5 kids. Out of those 12 kids, only 6 of them had kids, and 2 of them were my parents. So I have a grand total of no brothers, no sisters, and 4 cousins. Compared to the typical Somali family, I'm all alone!! It's had it's benefits and drawbacks, I guess, but I would have it no other way. Besides, I'm making up for the small faily by having 2 kids already, and who knows insha Allah how many kids I'll have? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted February 16, 2007 crystal I really I wouldn’t understand somalis, most somali grandfathers have like two - four wives and tons of grandchildren. but, just cuz they did it doesn’t make it is right, our grandparents need to be ashamed of themselves ...How can one marry a young woman when they themselves are so darn old . As for Lazie hun it aint a win/win situation you might have got a younger abti, and yr awoowe got himself a beautiful young woman to screw around w/ (even though I still wouldnt know what she have seen in him giving that she might have been 17 lol...I bet her parents just forced her maskiinah) but what did your ayeeyo get outa of it?? … wa salaaam p.s. MC Xamar you might plan to have 2 kids,,,,but only Allah knows how many kids you gonna end up w/...you might end up with a dozen ....bt do make du'a (u might get what u wish for) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
- Femme - Posted February 16, 2007 I don't doubt ur sincerity Layzie Girl. I just disagreed with the part I bolded because your sorta implying that all women are good for is kids and if they can't deliver - then a man has the right to pursue one who can give him. Even though she devoted all her life to him! And I hope you know I'm talking general wise. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Som@li Posted February 16, 2007 It is sad to see an old couple, who sent all their lives together breaking marriege, plse, find solutions for them! I remember an old couple who held a big party for their 50 years wedding anniversity, maybe your granparents are bored, a holiday trip to Paris, Venice, Daallo, Somalia etc may revive their love again! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Crystal_Clear Posted February 16, 2007 Ayeeyo and Awoowee will not get a divorce, Looks like they kissed and makeup, now lets talk about something else, how is the weather in your city. Its nice and sunny here today!. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baluug Posted February 16, 2007 LOL The weather is good over here, too. And my grandparents are still together, too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
