Sacrificing for your family’s well being - The male perspective.

[Nur]

eNuri and associates present

 

Sacrificing for your family’s well being - The male perspective.

 

 

By Popular Demand.

 

Dear Faarax

 

So, you are interested in taking on another Xalimo? I know its tempting brother, I also know you are lonely, Family being across Atlantic and you are struggling in Kampala, do you realize how much it will cause for her to hear that you are getting laid with another Xalimo? while she is struggling to raise six kids you fathered in a far land?

 

Your Xalimo is as lonely as you are, she would not have spent a night without you if she can, and if she was not a faithful woman her options would have even increased geometrically, but, she has chosen to sacrifice her own fulfilment for YOU! how much does that weigh saaxiib?

 

You see saaxib, doubling up is an Islamic halaal principle practiced by Prophets, just like medication, its intention is to cure, not to increase sickness, by going ahead with this thought of yours, you are endangering the welbeing of an entire healthy family. Instead of thinking like a rocket engineer to devise creative ways to convince your smarter wifey, why not try to tame your desires first, by making more ibaadah, social work, Dawa work, fasting and if need be, writing to Coffe Anan to take you to your wife, it may work if Allah decrees so, ( Coffe Anan works for Allah without realizing) but trying to be smart with your wifey can backfire, like saying " Honey, its sunnah, we should follow the sunnah" for which you smarter wifey will say " How come I dont see you praying Tahajjud prayer late at night?, or isnt that Sunnah? too" or when you say " honey, my tribe is wiped out in the civil war, our Chief Cag Bakayle said that our Rer Qansax are endangered species so we have to increase our numbers to get more voting rights in the Anarchist parliament at Jawhar and Baidoa" for which your smarter wifey will say " My dear, what is your own quota they gavve you? I can volunteer to deliver them all alone, we dont need any help in this house", or when you say " Honey, My cousin was killed in the cause of Allah helping the poor, and he left behind a young wife and orphans, so they need a father, for which your wifey will say, "pumpkin, why not get the same reward like him and die in the cause of Allah"

 

 

Hassan, is a devout brother, and an entreprising businessman, after the civil war, his kids found residence in an Arabic speaking country, but his bread and butter is in Somalia, where he is taking risk to support his family , he sees his family twice a year, his wife is wearing the father, mother and teacher hats, she instills in them the love of Allah, love of their father, so the kids have grown to be ideal and brilliant, the best in their classes, and in terms of their character, their mother raised them with the best of qualitities.

 

Hassan is a very pleasant, intelligent and humorous guy who has been appproached many times by family and friends to consider remarrying again in Somalia, however, when he thinks of the shared sacrifices between him and his wife, his soul just cant accept the idea, Hassan knows that his sacrifice is little compared to what his wife is putting up with, tearful nights alone, in which she thinks of her her husband who is far away, they are all safe and well fed, in school, but their dad is living like a bachelor back home alone to run his retail business in a dangerous environment. The best thing that happened to Somalis in these times are sacrifices for their kids, and alhamdulillah, bright results are showing all around the wide world of wonders.

 

 

Xareed, is married to Beerlula who is terminally ill for many years, a very succesful professional who values his wife beyound imagination, at work, Xareed is known for being very reserved, hardworking and very loyal to his wife, he is well respected for that, Everyday, Xareed is at home after work to be on her side, consoling her pain, taking care of family needs, tutoring and running errands after work, his role is ideal, very few Somali Faaraxs can match his dedication, to him the world has stopped the day his wife was diagnosed to be terminally ill, he seldomly smiles, always pensive, even with all the wealth that can buy happiness for some Faaraxs, he is subuded, showing happiness when he is joking with wife only.

 

 

Sacrifice, is an age old principle, you forgo a valuable thing for a more valuable thing, Abraham was the first to sacrifice his happiness for Allahs sake, he sacrificed his life for Allah, and as a token of recognition, Allah SWT elevated him to the level of Khalil ul Allah ( Friend of Allah), His wife Sarah wa sjealous when he married Hajer the Egyptian, she asked he husband Abraham to get her out of her sight, which he did, Allah ordered Abraham to send Hajar to Makkah, a barren mountainous land in the middle of no where, no water and no life.

 

When Abraham brought his wife Hajer and son Ishmael to Makkah, she asked him, did allah command you to leave us alone in this place? Abraham nodded yes, and Hajer told him : go, Allah will look after us, he will not neglect us"

 

Hajer, with infant Ishmael began running between two hills known as Safa and Marwa in Makkah, seven times looking for water, after giving up the search for water, water gushes between the feet of the crying infant Ishmael, to her joy, she rushes back to make a pool to save the abundant water, saying ZAM ZAM, meaning stop, stop. thus the blessed ZamZam water.

 

That statment of sacrifice from the part of a woman who regarded a lowly servant, has elevated her to the highest level of humanity when Allah ordered all of humanitiy to run between Safa and Marwa hills as a token of the sacrifice that woman has made for the sake of Allah's pleasure. Sara was pleased by distancing Hager away from her sight, and Hager was pleased by glorifying her stand forever. Two great women, two different choices.

 

Jurhum tribe moved close to Hajer to share the water, and Ishmael was raised by the Arab tribes until he was a lad at which time, Abraham visited him, when in dream he saw that he was to sacrifice Ishmael, Abraham, again was tested, this time he had to sacrifice his own son who he loved so much, this time he asks his son, and the his son accepts the commandment of ALLAH, when they both agreed, Allah saved ishmael, and his Father Abraham, ny sending down a lamb in his place, now we have three people who all have sacrificed, a man who sacrificed his life for Allah when he was thrown in fire, a woman who sacrificed her life and that of her infant to please Allah, and a son who sacrificed his life for Allah SWT.

 

Today, Muslims in the millions are circumventing Saffah and Marwa as a token of the importance of sacrifice for the sake of Allah.

 

 

Shouldnt we all try this principle of Sacrifice?

 

 

Think about Your family, Allah SWT says: Do Not Forget The Fazl ( All The Good ) between you"

 

 

Inspired By Amelia

Seconded By Raheema

Produced by eNuri Staff

 

Nur

 

2006 eNuri Inspirationals

Its not where you start, its where you end up that counts

[Castro]

Great topic sheikh Nur. I wonder where you got the idea.

 

Sacrifice implies giving up something of value for the sake of something else of greater value. Well, that greater value is one's sanity and the well being of his wife and children. It's tempting to succumb to one's desires but to resist and fix what is broken in your own home is infinitely more satisfying than, say, getting a new family and a new home. The same disfunctional attitude many have in their first marriages, they will only carry over to a new family and risk ruining more than just one home. Those who delay gratification are the most successful in this life and the hereafter. Sticking with my minwayn (and my children) is of much greater value than finding a hot and young new minyar.

[codetalker]

So, you are interested in taking on another Xalimo?

If this is the first sentence and eNur wrote it, why would I read the whole essay? At the end of the day, it always boils down to the pro-polygamy argument.

 

Originally posted by Castro:

Sticking with my minwayn (and my children) is of much greater value than finding a hot and young new minyar.

Well said, Cuban. In the battle between quality and quantity, I'd rather stick with quality to the end.

[Khalaf]

^^^^^Its called an attention getter code, its first rule of writting an essay. Grab the attention. However you shouldn't dismiss brother without reading the rest of his post, he makes valid points, and the stories he relates do indeed happeen and should be addressed.

 

 

Brother Nur I am new to the forums and I am not familar with enuri, or your articles in the past on the forums. But heres what I think my dear brother, polygamy is complex issue, and i think many muslims (some on these forums) dont even know the basics of the deen and we could surely use your expertise/alim in other areas. Especially on dealing with the youth in the West. May Allah bless you in your works.

[Rahima]

Mashallah Nur.

 

Much, Much better .

 

Hopefully Faraxs will lend an attentive eye- they will I’A read, ponder and act.

 

Now make it a campaign Nur, spread the golden words I say !

[Baluug]

Nur, you've hit the nail right on the head, brother. Most of us are blinded by the idea that having another wife is only about pleasure for us and don't think about all the work involved in starting another family, possibly because we aren't even doing enough for the first family.

[Baashi]

There you have it - the other side of the coin. Humility, creativity, and straight-talk style dacwa is what earns eNuri sizeable cyber followers. I'm glad that eNuri bends backward as far as the backbone can take in order to minimize the misunderstanding that comes with the territory. As one can see eNuri has caved in to the "popular demand" and rightly so I might add. After all the aim is to have a constructive dailogue with nomads about contemporary Islamic issues that Somalis confront in their daily struggles. Well done.

 

As to the topic, I've always maintained that one wify and the kids she rears is enough headache (nicma yes but still) for those of us who call qurbo their home. Raising a family (the right way) in this age and time in qurbo is not your cup of tea. That alone is big enough a sacrifice. Take it from me folks...I should know.

 

Any man who can handle more than one and the sametime meet his responsibilities dutifully and diligently is a hell of a man in my book. If he can walk the talk I for one encourage him to spread his wings over more than one mundul. God knows the shade his wings provides is needed in many many homes.

[Valenteenah.]

Thank you. The road is long and complicated, but this is a great start, Nur. These issues need to be highlighted.

[Nur]

Gene That Increases Somali men's desire for polygamy Isolated

 

An Inspirational Lampoon

 

eNuri Scientists at Kurtunwaarrey Research Complex are startled to report the rare occurance of isolating a gene suspected for causing the Somali Mesozoic men's craving for another wife .

 

In a news conference, held at the Kurtunwaarrey Marriotts Cag Bakeyle Hall, a group of scientists have unfolded the results of a 10 year old reserach in which they have worked with a pair of control groups of 25 men each.

 

Researchers made sure that the control groups situations, spouses, lifestyles, professions, and all other attributes were identitical, in order to see if genetics had any role to predispose some men to marry another woman while they were perfectly happy with their current wife.

 

After the ten year period, the researchers noticed that all the men who have taken other wives had a common gene, the PINATS Gene ( Polygamy Is Not Always The Solution), Dr. Amelia, the Chief Social Scientist explained that the DNA of the affected Somali males invariably showed that those subjects with the PINATS gene where twice as likely to think of polygamy compared to those other subject without the PINATS gene.

 

When Dr. Amelia compared her findings with earlier findings by Dr. Raheema, who followed around a group of Wadaads and secularists to see if there is any merit to the notion that wadaads were more at risk with this Gene, they found that that the PINATS gene to be equally distributed although wadaads were showing the symptoms more due to their lifestyles.

 

Dr. Amelia has disclosed now that the gene has been islolated, the daunting task will be how to block its receptors without endangering other virtal functions, to which Dr. Raheema is suggesting to study a close corrolation between the PINATS affected Somali male and the size of their Bank accounts, and brains, some successful spouses found remedy by drying the Bank Account, keeping the patient busy with his kids homework , relative silatul Raxim, community and family, which when admisnistered in an Arawelo ingenuity are seen to reduce the severity of the Gene's attack, other very rewarding activities that can inhibit the Gene's effect at least in the twighlight period of Gene's activity are also in early tests at the labs.

 

 

Nur

 

2006 eNuri Social Lampoons Inc.

Dunyaa And Women ( Xalaaluhaa Xisaab, Xaraamuhaa Ciqaab)

[-Serenity-]

Bro Nur ,

 

Excellent topic. Thanks from me as well.

 

I hope the sisters take the time to reply to this topic.

 

p.s. Even Baashi has changed his tone. Nur, you're something. Kolba dhinac baad noo kaxaysaa..

[Baashi]

^

 

Look closely, he got a remote to control his robots I gotta tell ya Kuntuwaareey research lab is very advanced in the technology field and now your excellency have joined its ranks along with Rahima the place has a brighter future.

 

My tone stays the same btw - cool, measured, and even agreeable at times with lil kaftan flavor .

 

I'm the biggest fan of eNuri products and you know it. We should all support the brother for doing dacwa for the sake of Allah. SOL is lucky to have a nomad with a mission who uses its space and resources for a cause greater than his personal whims.

 

Having said that, brother is no macsuum. He has his own opinion and preferrences and sometimes these find their way into topics he shares with us. We should give him the benefit of the doubt as well as feedback in a nice and a civil manner without questioning his motives.

 

I don't know him personally but I respect him for what he does in SOL boards and the way he delivers the dacwa.

[Viking]

Excellent post Nur! Human beings are usually keen on exercising their rights but not their responsibilities.

[xiinfaniin]

Another eNuri classic, I say. As long polygamy is the talk of the day I am satisfied , yaa Nur.

[Castro]

Originally posted by xiinfaniin:

Another eNuri classic

No doubt. But only after a drought of sorts. You know, the xalimooy-polygamy-is-good-for-you era of not too long ago. Nur came back to his senses and we thank Allah for that.

[xiinfaniin]

^^^You’re half right there adeer, but don’t forget it is an old method to frame and tune issues so the masses can understand it better. Khaadibi naasa calaa qadri cuquulihim is what it is yaa Castro.