How to make your man Happy - Somali Writer

[Curly]

Originally posted by ElPunto:

Why is the first comment directed at me? It implies you have a detailed knowledge of my views on women and family. Clearly you do not.

Well you're right about one thing and I'm glad I don't...what I do know about you is based on the brief exchange we've had here.

 

Setting us back? This is the problem. She can't set

you or any other women

back

. She can only do what she feels is right for her family. This argument is exactly like those who say hijab/burqa wearers are setting women back when it's only a personal choice.

Well I think she did more than just that, considering it's a published book, I suppose with your logic someone who published a book insulting Islam would be given the same liberty.

 

 

You

are being hypocritical when you acknowledge a choice for yourself but you don't allow others a different choice than yours. Or you claim that another's choice has a negative impact on your choices going forward. Cajeeb.

Yeah, explain that one to me again, I don't think using the bold letters quite worked. I think the key thing to remember is that I have a choice they have a choice...which I surmised in nearly every post regarding that topic, but just in case you missed that let me repeat that I was merely educating the poster on the reality.

 

 

I didn't brand anyone period. And I don't know as to the something that is admirable. If you mean being a working mother - then that is a value judgment you have made rather than something that has been proven through a sound case presented here.

It's funny that a man has so many opinions on what he thinks is wrong or right for women...maybe you should go back and read some of the other comments, you'll notice that the majority of women who replied to that post were actually in agreement with me.

 

Anyhoot, I think I've wasted far too much time with our little interchange here and will not be replying here on out.

 

Toodles!

[NGONGE]

In the Arab world (particularly Egypt), men that have devoted, down trodden wives are referred to as Si AlSayd. This is a character from a novel by Noble Laureate Najib Mahfouz (Cairo Trilogy). The novel was made into a film and a very successful TV serious in the early eighties (late seventies – and repeated endlessly ever since).

 

Though the story itself talked about an Egyptian family in the 1920s, the way the average Egyptian/Arab family functions today is still the same. And, even thought he story opened many eyes to the unfairness of the traditional relationship between husband and wife, many readers sympathised with the wife in the story (the faithful Amina) and many women viewed her as a sort of a role model. The macho men, of course, viewed her husband (Sayid Abduljawad) as their own role model. This of course does not mean that both genders agreed with all the negatives and positives of each character. But the men longed to do what Sayid did when he entered his house and had the wife scurrying to prepare his hot water, present him with his dinner, keep the house clean and tidy. AND, call the children one by one to greet their father! The women on the other hand, empathised with Amina’s patience, pride in not showing her irritation and constant strive to make sure that her house and children were the best they could be. Both (modern) genders disagree with the discrimination, the weakness and the man’s double standards (in taking the high moral ground at home yet be a playboy and have a mistress outside).

 

The problem that remains to this day however is in the division of roles in the family. The concept of a househusband is a great no no (for obvious religious and traditional reasons). The idea of women working is not frowned upon and actually encouraged in most places. In fact, once outside the home, the freedom is the same as in any western country (I’m excluding Saudi Arabia here, even though women also work there). It is in the home where most of the old habits still exist (like it exists in mine, yours and almost all families with a Muslim tradition). Here, no matter how many times the man would vacuum, clean, cook or look after the kids, the woman will still do fifty times that. She will still insist on choosing the furniture, the curtains, the cutlery and will sulk if she does not have the final say on the shopping. She will feed the kids (or maybe even breastfeed them); she will dress them and do a million and one things that are only the wife’s responsibility (or god knows what reason).

 

So, to be honest, I do not think this woman has invented anything new. She is preaching to the (mostly) converted.

[cynical lady]

:rolleyes: Stuff and nonsense

[NGONGE]

^^ Not sure why you're rolling your eyes at me, CL. Lost for words, dear?

[Curly]

Ngonge, like you'd know anything about being lost for words. I'm sure its something completely foreign to you...even went it is a load of nonsense.

[ElPunto]

Curly,

 

I'm sure you misspoke when you compared a book about making a man happy and a book insulting Islam with the claim they may be similar.

 

If you really believed that you have a choice and they have a choice you wouldn't be making the following remarks:

 

"I abhor this woman who's potentially setting us back"

 

"I'm ashamed that it was a Somali woman that wrote this book and in this centry"

 

"I for one will not be humouring this sort of twaddle on SOL"

 

If you really believed her choice was as equally valid as yours - you wouldn't be heaping these derogatory remarks at her. Ergo, you are being hypocritical.

 

I don't know why you think it's funny that a man might have an opinion on what he thinks may be right or wrong for a woman. Equally - I wouldn't be bothered if you had an opinion on what is right or wrong for men. In your mind - a sacred threshold has been crossed if a man ventures to give his opinion on women and women's issues.

 

I think it's I who has wasted my time. With someone who is defensive, unreasoned and unwilling to hear let alone listen. Adios.

[NGONGE]

^^ In short, a woman?

 

Curly,

My last post annoyed you too? Now I'm lost for word.

[Curly]

Ngonge the difference is you're harmless.

 

I should really change my signature to see no evil, hear no evil.

[Eng.Cadde]

Originally posted by ElPunto:

Curly,

 

I'm sure you misspoke when you compared a book about making a man happy and a book insulting Islam with the claim they may be similar.

 

If you really believed that you have a choice and they have a choice you wouldn't be making the following remarks:

 

"I abhor this woman who's potentially setting us back"

 

"I'm ashamed that it was a Somali woman that wrote this book and in this centry"

 

"I for one will not be humouring this sort of twaddle on SOL"

 

If you

really

believed her choice was as equally valid as yours - you wouldn't be heaping these derogatory remarks at her. Ergo, you

are being hypocritical.

 

I don't know why you think it's funny that a man might have an opinion on what he thinks may be right or wrong for a woman. Equally - I wouldn't be bothered if you had an opinion on what is right or wrong for men. In your mind - a sacred threshold has been crossed if a man ventures to give his opinion on women and women's issues.

 

I think it's I who has wasted my time. With someone who is defensive, unreasoned and unwilling to hear let alone listen. Adios.

Nice sxb,She also believes that NO one should have a family since a woman is likely to be abused sometimes in her marriage life.if this doesnt shock you then you can easily get the massage that she considers those ladies who sacrified their lives to raise their children as being enslaved!

[Abaay Heylay]

I for one will not be humouring this sort of twaddle on SOL. I think we ought to have a strict zero tolerance approach because joking or not you're sending out a message.

Curly no need to get mad, you either like it or not and everyone can post whatever they feel like. Besides, i am sure evesryone sees the topic as a joke, so calm yourself down..lol.

 

Back to the topic, I am sure my grandma who grew up in Somalia would even laugh at the what nonsense this woman wrote, lol. But again if she is not married maybe this book is gonna find her a husband.

 

P.s I am planing to write a book on how to make your woman happy, so I need SOL men volunteers.

[- Femme -]

The whole book is ****** and anyone who bought it either lacks common sense or just wanted to have a good laugh.

 

1. A beautiful home and a well cooked meal makes ANYONE happy. Men & WOMEN. I remember how much I appreciated my mom's well cooked meals after a long, long day of school & work. No arguments there. That' not the point though, is it?

 

2. Ask no questions? When did man rise to the level of God? This is such a retarded statement - it makes me wonder how many of those hundreds of women interviewed for the book are in an abusive relationship, because that's one of the signs of a controlling, abusive relationship. Do your job, ask no questions, follow orders.

 

Goodness Gracious...

[Baluug]

I love seeing women get defensive when a topic like this comes up thanks for the entertainment!!

[Jacaylbaro]

Originally posted by chocolate & honey:

"Dont question him" kulahaa sheekoy ku nacay.

Su'aal badanaa inantu ,,,

[Maxaatiri]

This is a book for women who do not know their husbands, or are maybe afraid of them. How else can you explain a woman buying a book on 'How to make a man happy'...surely if you are married to him and have a good relationship with him...you would know.

[Eng.Cadde]

My Would be WIfe Needs that kind of book.me thinks.