x_quizit Posted May 7, 2002 With recent reports showing that women's fertility is declining faster than people thought originally, which they thought started in the late 30's, now science shows that fertility starts declining as early as age 27. Now the question is, with alot of us sisters pursuing education and careers, how many of you would sacrifice your careers to have kids, since as you get older, your fertility will decline? If you wouldn't sacrifice your career, do you think society regards you as selfish? peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hibo Posted May 7, 2002 woow that is one of koolest q i have seen for the night. well i wouldn't be able to speak for the rest ladies out there but yeah i personaly wanna do both i feel i don't have to chose one over the other, im 20 now so insha'allah get in to kids lovely shit around 22 lol.. but for the ones who wanna go for the career i guess they thought of it and im sure they know what they doing. but i don't think society will see them as selfish. just hard working ladies that is... well i hope that answers ur q dear. and till then take care of urself and others around ya.. 1 luv... sallam... ------------------ peace in the middle east. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
raula Posted May 7, 2002 Gal..science is really lackin' behind....everything that's being discovered is mentioned in tha Quran..science is just some kinda "false treasure" waiting to be discovered by the Jaahils of this world.... Now back 2 ur Q..no society will not view me as selfish..since it doesn't provide me w/ my daily necessities...However, I would say,if u meet the right person(@ macquul age) who can support a family, then there is no need to postponed ur "precious gift(having children)" 4 later...Allah knows if u gonna have some anywayz...Honestly, no matter wat kinda degree U got, the weight of ur account is more than xagdhaaf, U got everything U need in this world...there is no precious gift in this world than having kids..... Midwesta Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fia Posted May 7, 2002 Yeah I saw that report on the news. But, you ask a really good question. Well, I'm a college student, and I know by the time that I am 27 that should be when I'm starting to get comfortable (financially) in my career. Having children before then would slow me down. And no, I don't think society would perceive me as selfish to wait to have children, b/c it would be selfish of me to BRING children into this world and not be able to provide for them. I would like to acquire a certain level of success and financial freedom before I have children so that my children will grow up in a financially stable household. That way I will be able to provide for them WITH or WITH OUT a husband since I could end up getting divorced b/c the divorce rate is so high these days. Having children is important to me, but I wouldn't want to bring children into the world while I'm still young and not be able to give them what they want and struggle to provide for them. The whole point in advancing in my career and waiting to have children is so that I can PREPARE atleast financially and even emotionally and mentally at that, to have children. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hibo Posted May 7, 2002 I agree with Raula ... totaly! If I find the right geezer ... I would have my babies as soon as Allah allows me .... I don't wanna be mistaken for nanny at the parents evening. I don't think it is selfish, but I think it's really sad that people choose careers over babies.... thats unnatural, which explains why there are some many narotic Ally McBeal type of women arround. But, hey, who said that you can't have both ... u don't have to neccessarily sarifice the one for the other... My older sister, who is coincedentially 27 started her studies and family at the same time, she decided not work at the end of it all. But, it can happen! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Funkysista Posted May 7, 2002 x_quizit great topic gurl.. Well personally speaking i love kids and I rather keep both 2gether..as usuall society is always regarding women who choose their careers over kids selfishness but AS AMEENAH SAID who says we can't have both... We can always have maternity leave which is growing pretty well.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kamila Posted May 7, 2002 I Agree with Ruala, cozz No mater If u go to the Best Uni (Jamacad)In the world, u will end up becoming house wife and u will have childeren,so u must take care of ur childeren and ur husband too. if u take ur childeren to day care and you have a job. I think that will ruin your family and you will loss everything because you cannot take care your children, your husband and ur job at the same time. My point of view that is too mutch to handle. 2. If you have basic language skills which you can read your letters and go to the doctor without help of translater. that would be enough for you. A the same time you can help your childeren with the home work and you can also participatein parents evening at the school. If u get the Hightest Degree at the end of the day u will end up being a mom or housewife. <img src=" Bye "]http://www.somaliaonline.com/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm32.gif" alt="" /> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kruella Posted May 7, 2002 Well, I for one, never agreed that career is the sole purpose of the "successful modern" woman. I think that in pursuit of equality we lost sight of what is importants to us and the things that essentially differenciate us from men. We can have children, raise them, be housewives,career women and many more things. Some choose career over kids and end up lonely old hags. Others, end up depending financially over their spouse and are under his mercy. I don't think we should sacrifice our careers, however i do think that we have to adapt our career to suit our lifestyles once we have children. If worse comes to worse, we can be self employed and have our kids without worrying if the boss is going to fire you because you just popped another one. In overall ladies, we should resist the childless, money-hungry, power-thirsty Western workforce and remember that once we concentrate too much on work/career in the end we'll end up neglecting our most important task....which is raising our children. As for fertility, darn it it's better to grow up with your kids then have them when you can't even run after them. salam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hibo Posted May 7, 2002 I think I would say both, coz my mom is my role model, she is a doc now, she did all her undergrade n graduate school while giving birth to all of us...so it all depends on the man u wanna marry, coz if he is willing to look after the kids while u went to class, than it shouldn't be a problem, if that isnot possible, than finish school, worry about kids later...coz Alaahu waclam when u gonna have them anyways. keep ur faith in Allah! That is my attitute towards kids n education! ------------------ Each one of us is a masterpiece in progress Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hibo Posted May 7, 2002 That biological clock was never an issue. Always thought with fertility and technology it would be easy to conceive at any age - All these new studies got me thinking ie; hmm that I've to Work It! Career wise - Its never too late to study or to've a career or interests on the side other then housework/wife - Women high on the corporate ladder are finally figuring nothing would amount to quality time at home - ie; President Bush's close advisor announced recently that she'll be resigning her position at the White House to spend more time with her son and husband - Can you imagine walking away the most highly paid job in the US? Guess money's not everything!! God Bless. ------------------ "He tried to be somebody by trying to be like everybody, which makes him a nobody." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hibo Posted May 7, 2002 I dont know how many kids ya all planning to have but I'd be content with just 1 or 2. And with declining chances of conception with age, I think its managable even after you're 30. So I say, 1st get your career in perpective and than babies. I've also always fancied the idea of adoption so I guess my worries are few . [This message has been edited by Athena (edited 05-07-2002).] Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hibo Posted May 7, 2002 lol@@Athena...damn' girl only 1 or 2...shout, that'll be a haunted house kind of thing lol, na i'm be just like my mom..have close to 10 kids!!! cuz then them kids can always take care of each others when they grow up. And yep, I'll still keep my education' as much as i can'...cuz it's all about strugglin' and having the strengh that GOd gave ya~~~ Ta Ta Tiya *Sista Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hibo Posted May 7, 2002 hmmm... personally I want to have my feet planted in the ground frist so I would get started on my career as soon as possible and when I was settled in financially like say around 25 or 26 then I would start to have kids but it all depends on the scenario of the married couple Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Rocks Chick Posted May 7, 2002 I'm still a kid, so how can I raise one??????? nuh, better wait, when I can offer them something.........cool posting!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baydan Posted May 7, 2002 We also see more middle aged and some older women having kids as it is right now.. I too had heard this from the news but I gotta say things dont coincide..how would they explain the mojority of women in their "past child-bearing" age still having healthy babies? Jane Seymour (Dr. Quin medicine woman) had beautiful healthy twins in her mid 50s another celebrity whose name I cant remember is also along the same boat. Personaly I wouldnt be rushed just for the sake of having babies..right Calas then babies is my moto. In the meantime pursueing my much anticipated future career is what I would be doing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
