IL CAPO Posted November 18, 2004 I got a phone call from my old buddy Jamaal_11 telling me to come to the Somaliaonline party for the Eid night and he said everybody will be there so don't let me down and remember to come on time and i said sure, count me in. I caught a flight and after some long hours of pure bore even after the poor hostess tried her utmost best to keep me fresh and entertained through out the long flight,i have to admit it was still boring for some one like me to sit still in one bloody place for more than 6 hours! we finally touched down safely and after going through the normal airport procedures and let me tell you it was hectic and if I didn't give my word to J11, I would have returned to my beloved Africa rather than go through all this unnecessary humiliation. I finally made it to the outside of the airport safe and sound and after making sure that i got all my luggages I whistled for a taxi like the real African that I am and i could see my whistle made few people turn at my direction with pure frustration but do i really care what they think of me? anyway,after putting my entire luggage inside the boot I was finally beginning to relax and enjoy my ride to my 2 star hotel which J11 booked for me because I was the last person to confirm my arrival date and time and by that time they were already running short on budget and since I am humble, I told him not to worry about it as I am used to the 2 star hotels rather than the 5 star ones. "Where are you headed Sir?" asked the taxi driver. I showed him the address and he nodded his head and after that he stepped on the gas. "You sound like a foreigner sir, may I ask where are you from?" he asked. "Aren't we all foreigners in this land of white man my brother?" I asked. He laughed and said "Yeah, that is true but what I meant to say is, I have been living in this country for almost a decade now and I consider myself to be like them since I am qualified and hold the citizenship of this country." "Don't worry my friend, I understand what you mean, yes I am from Africa, Kenya to be exact" I said. "Oohh I am from Somalia and I have been to Kenya as well but it was a long time ago, so what brings you here if I may ask? business or pleasure Sir?" I am getting little bit agitated by now with all his questions because I thought I was done with questioning when i left the airport but since he is a Somali, I said to myself well, he is your brother so be patient with him. "I don't know whether you can call it business or pleasure but I am here to see friends that I met through the net and we are having a get together party on this weekend"I replied. "I am going to a similar party too on this weekend and I can't wait to meet all those people' he says excitingly. "No Kidding"I reply, I can see he is slowly getting animated. "Yeah, so what's the name of your site?" "It is called Camel Milk Thread but we call it SOL which stands for Somaliaonline" suddenly he hits the brakes without warning and i almost flew from my back seat all the way to the dashboard he screams with elation and says"Oh My God, waryaa I am going to that same party too, I can't believe it" "You can say that again, what a coincidence yeah?" I say feeling bit awkward. He extends his hand and says "My name is Nuune nice to meet you, and you are" "IL CAPO,that is my name,nice to meet you Nuune" "Oooh IL CAPO, come here and give me a hug, man I have always wanted to meet you so that I could ask you about where you get all your crazy and weirdoes Asian topics that you keep on posting" he is getting wild now with all the hugging and stuff going on and I admit I am some what embarrassed with all this, because let's be honest where I come from if you hug another man in public you will see your name and pic on the front page of AL FACSHIR daily newspaper. We reach at the Hotel and after getting off with all my luggage, he tells me to call him if I need anything and after that we shake hands and I tell him... "Don't worry mate, I am Ok, see you at the party Tomorrow night Insha Allah" "Are you sure you don't want me to come and pick you up tomorrow night because it is a long way off" he asks. "Naaaaah, it's Ok, but Thanks anyway and nice to meet you once again Nuune." "Nice to meet you too IL CAPO, bye then" "Bye." Stay Tuned Fro Part 2. Peace. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nafta Posted November 18, 2004 looool...that was a nice intro, can't wait for the 2nd part now...hurry along dee, my lunch break doesnt last long Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted November 18, 2004 I wake up at 8 am in the next morning and after jumping into the shower and brushing my teeth I come down for a quick breakfast and then went out for sight seeing. I remembered that I needed to sort out the presents that I brought with me and since I had no where else to go I have decided to head back to the hotel and start organizing my gifts that I brought for few people that I was friendly with here in SOL. Finally it is time for me to get going as I am already half an hour late, but the reason why I am late is simple,I didn't want to be the first guest to arrive as that is the most embarrassing situation that anybody could find him/herself in. I ring the door bell, feeling bit nervous because I am not sure what sort of people will I meet in there or what would the vibe be like but fortunately J11 opens the door and jumps on me and says loud, like a real Somali style "IL CAPO, you are 45 minutes late, come on in" and gives me that good old Garissa style hug then we proceed to the sitting room where a Somali song is playing at the background, now I am sorry but I can't exactly tell you which Somali song it was as I am not good with Somali songs. As we make our way to the sitting room I pump into a girl wearing some wild outfit with her headphone on shaking like there's no tomorrow and she almost spills her drinks over me and she walks right past me without even bothering to see the damage she's done but fortunately J11 breaks the ice and grabs me by the shoulder and says…. "IL CAPO this is MOMBASA-Queen" "Hi, MOMBASA-Queen, Mambo Vipi, hakuna salamu hata dada wangu" I say.Feeling bit embarrassed, she takes her headphones off and says in a soft tone "I am so sorry IL CAPO I didn't know it was you, wapi zawadi zangu?'she said. "Don't worry, it is Ok,nice to meet you my Sister" "Nice to meet you too IL CAPO" J11 asks me if I would like something to drink and I tell him no, I am fine now maybe later and we continue to walk and he says, "Come on I want you to meet some one" We come to the kitchen and see two guys having what seemed like an argument and J11 interrupts by saying to them..... "Hey guys look who is here" "IL CAPO, these are Libaax-Sankataabte and Rudy" "Whats up IL CAPO" says Rudy. "The Sky is Up Rudy"I reply. "No No, I meant How are you?" says Rudy. "I know, that is why I said The Sky Is Up, because in Garissa when things aren't as smooth as one would have liked is when we say that but when things are Grand we just say Grand" I replied. "Nice to meet you my brother and good to see you" says Rudy. "Yeah,like wise my brother"I say. "Glad you could make it IL CAPO" libaax says. "Me too and nice to meet you" I reply. "Nice to meet you too and sorry about the accommodation we were out our depths as we didn't think all the nomads would come" "Naaaah, don't worry about it, in fact I loved it" "By the way we appreciate your contribution to SOL and we would appreciate even more if you didn't post anything concerning BUSH again because we don't want to be targeted by FBI and CIA like the most muslim owned sites and don't take it personal" says Libaax. "I understand and it won't happen again" "Thank You Very Much"Libaax says. "No need to thank me" "Ok, Bro have fun and feel at home" "Thanks Libaax and nice to meet you" "Nice to meet you too IL CAPO" As we are about to move back to the sitting room we hear a loud bang coming from the back door of the kitchen and we stop and turn at the same time but Libaax ensures us that everything is under control by saying... "Don't pay them no mind, it is those we banned from our site and they are trying to get in through the back door" then we go to the sitting room where all the fun begins. Stay Tuned for Part 3. Peace. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OG_Girl Posted November 18, 2004 Allahay jogto ( Allah mowjood) Are you that bored dear? Salam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blessed Posted November 18, 2004 Please, carry on... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
- Femme - Posted November 18, 2004 LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL@IL Capo As we are about to move back to the sitting room we hear a loud bang coming from the back door of the kitchen and we stop and turn at the same time but Libaax ensures us that everything is under control by saying... "Don't pay them no mind, it is those we banned from our site and they are trying to get in through the back door" That is funny. COntinue Brotha!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted November 18, 2004 As we slowly make our way to the sitting room I grab a glass of my favorite juice Pineapple and say to myself "Here we go, the moment of truth has finally arrived". Just before we reach the sitting room we hear a loud noise coming from a room on my left side and J11 says let's go and find out what's causing all the excitement. He pushes the door wide open and wee see about 6 guys playing Domino and sweating and screaming at the top of their voice, some humming, some singing and some just silent with frustration. One of the guys jumps up and runs towards us..i have to admit I didn't know what to expect because come on, the brother is short,fat, very dark and had few thin lines of hair and he looked like he has been running in the Olympic marathon because he was sweating gallons but he was a social guy..he opened up his arms and gave me a warm hug and let me tell you, my feet were off the ground then he put me down. He yelled "Waryaa IL CAPO, it is me Qac Qaac, remember me, you look much younger in real life, I thought you were even older than me and in truth I was hoping that you would be because I am sick and tired of people making fun of my age, I don't like it at all you know" "it's Ok, don't worry what people say, in fact you should be grateful for your age as it is a blessing" I replied. "Especially the Girls, they always like to tease me and make fun of me, that is why I came here alone, no date" pleads Qac Qaac. "listen bro, some girls are real pain in the rear end so don’t worry about what they say, just keep your head up and I am sure there are some girls out there who would appreciate a brother like you" "Thanks Bro, so how was your flight and tell me how do you like it here?" asks Qac Qaac. "the flight was bit long but apart from that everything else is Ok, i can't see myself living here if that is what you are asking me because i prefer the hot Temperatures to the freezing cold ones"i reply. "Come and meet and the rest of the guys in there, we are playing Domino come and play with us" "it is Ok, i will come and play with you later, first i need to see everybody else" i tell him. "Ok, IL CAPO, it was nice meeting you and see you later" Qac Qaac says. "You too Bro, take it easy now alright?"i say. "Sure" replies Qac Qac. "Peace" and i move on. then we come into the sitting room and see two guys standing at the corner busy chatting one of them looks upset because the other guy wouldn't agree with him and J11 tells me they are OG_MOTI and NGONGE and he adds "i guess you can tell which one of the two is Moti and which one is Ngonge" we both smile. "Waryaa IL CAPO, come and greet your uncle" one of them says. "Salam Alaikom, gentlemen" i say. "W/Salam" they both say at the same time. "My name is Ngonge, i am a whole lot nicer and human in person than the phoney and fake monster you read in SOL" he says. I am sure you are’ I reply. "Waryaa come and greet your uncle, come here let me see your face, you really look like my cousin, so how are you and how is Garissa and how are my cousins, your Dad and Mom?" asks Moti. "They are fine, Uncle, I would appreciate if you didn't embarrass me in front of all these people, come on stop pulling my cheeks, I am not a baby" I plead with Moti. "so IL CAPO, I was looking forward to seeing you and I heard you got a present for me" Ngonge says. "yeah, I almost forgot, here is your gift, (handing over a book written by Il Capo 1 "How To Get Your Point Across Without Breaking a Single Sweat" "Oh how nice of you to remember me thank you very much" "not at all, anyway it was nice meeting you and see you around" I said. "you too sxb and once again thanks for book" "Waryaa, tell me about the Camels, I am getting married soon and I want to come and have a real talk with your Dad" Moti says. "No Problem, we would welcome you as you are part of the Family" I tell him. "so where is this girl, that you always keep on calling her name even in your sleep, Waryaa xishoo oo be strong, in my time we never used to call women all the names that you are using now, in fact women themselves would think you are retarded if you called Honey, Angel, Sweetness and some other names that I can't even bare to say because I will feel like throwing up. Moti Advices me. "Yeah, she couldn't come because she is Shy person and she doesn't want anybody to know who she is."I tell my Uncle. "just watch out, some of the girls that came to this party tonight are real mad and they have already hit me on the head with Fake DG purse few times but if they even dare to look at you call me and I will show them who they are messing with." "Ok, Uncle, I will sure do that but I don't think we will even get to that"i say. "Time to meet the Girls" says J11 and we move to the Ladies Room where the unexpected happens. Stay Tuned For Part 4. Peace. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Salma Posted November 18, 2004 ^^^ It seems u wasted the Eid's holiday writing this story Me waiting 4 da rest of the story. Salam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nafta Posted November 18, 2004 gripping, gripping....lemme refill my shaah before u continue Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
- Femme - Posted November 18, 2004 OH wow!!! Great so far IL Capo. Leans back and eagerly waits Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baashi Posted November 18, 2004 "I am going to a similar party too on this weekend and I can't wait to meet all those people' he says excitingly. "No Kidding"I reply, I can see he is slowly getting animated. "Yeah, so what's the name of your site?" "It is called Camel Milk Thread but we call it SOL which stands for Somaliaonline" suddenly he hits the brakes without warning and i almost flew from my back seat all the way to the dashboard he screams with elation and says"Oh My God, waryaa I am going to that same party too, I can't believe it" "You can say that again, what a coincidence yeah?" I say feeling bit awkward. He extends his hand and says "My name is Nuune nice to meet you, and you are" "IL CAPO,that is my name,nice to meet you Nuune" loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool kix kix kix kax ooh Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dawoco Posted November 18, 2004 lol@il capo, aren't u mr popular fake dg bag eh? i woulda stuck with good ole fashioned dacas(for multiple hitting) girls wouldn't wanna damage their cherished bags nice story bro, een better than latest eastenders story line! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nuune Posted November 18, 2004 dad badan ayaa easternders iyo coronation street iyo emerdale raaxada ka qaadey, kuwaas dhan sheekadan aa ka dartey. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
J.Lee Posted November 18, 2004 "so where is this girl, that you always keep on calling her name even in your sleep, Waryaa xishoo oo be strong, in my time we never used to call women all the names that you are using now, in fact women themselves would think you are retarded if you called Honey, Angel, Sweetness and some other names that I can't even bare to say because I will feel like throwing up. Moti Advices me. LoL. Oh lord have mercy. You're a great story teller...I fell out of my chair laughing. I'm about to bust a gut. War Balaayo...it's hilarious......Continue please. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OG Moti Posted November 18, 2004 War bal ila eega waxan qalafsan, ma aniguu ileyhay Uncle, balo ku ankaleysay, sow anigii dhoor casho kaa danbeeyey dhalashadeydii.. war suuqa waa ladilaa laakiinse sidaa looma dilo sxb.. I wish I was there in person, you wouldnt talk to a single girl, aniga ayaaba shir uqabanlahaa dumarka oodhan, naga tag...uncle beel.. Allah kariim Peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
