Would you ask your husband-to-be to sign a contract that denies him a second wife?

[umu zakaria]

I used to believe that if my future husband dared another woman, i would kill him, very very cruel kill but now that am married I CHANGED, i took a 90 degree turn

 

When i see how happy Iam alxamdulilaah with my marriage and I go and meet a sister whose only wish is to find a decent husband so she could feel loved and have kids before it is too late, i foreget my selfish masayr. I even gave my husband a hint and told him so and so is a nice girl, she wants to settle down and i dont mind sharing you with her so why dont you go and hit on her? He says I will only marry if you die before me.

 

I have to admitt sometimes when this subjects is discussed or i hear someone else marrying a second wife i get the goose pumps,I cant help

[Ameen]

It's funny how you mention you encourage your husband to marry another woman cause, I remember hearing from this guy who is a few years older than me (more like 8 years older than me) but anyways, his situation had him get married like a year ago. So the first few months were tough on the both of them for I guess good reasons and it got to the point that he realized and his wife accepted the fact that she wasn't able to satisfy his needs. She felt so bad...but to tell you the truth, the guy was a monster.

 

Anyways, his wife couldnt take it no more and she exploded and told him to find another wife cause she couldnt keep up and his needs probably resemble the needs of 5 or 6 "normal" men. The local Somali community heard about this news and some older women have joined the project to find this "poor" brother more women to spend time with...

[Nephissa]

Originally posted by Ameen:

Anyways, his wife couldnt take it no more and she exploded and told him to find another wife cause she couldnt keep up and his needs probably resemble the needs of 5 or 6 "normal" men.

L0L @ his need resembling, 5 or 6 normal men. Fanaka cuudu bilaah! Can anyone handle 6 times a day for 7 days? [42 times in a week?] subhaana laaah, How about 12 times a day for 30 days? [360 times in a month?] inaa lilaaahi wa inaaa ilaahi raajucuuun....

 

A man with that much sex drive, is no human! Najaynaaa.

[Cara.]

Ah it was only the first couple of weeks or so while he was making up for lost time

 

I'm sure he settled down after a bit.

[Chimera]

Any type of addiction can be cured, yes that includes sexual addiction, advicing him to get a second wife is foolish and will make the problem only worse to the point where the first two wives are forced to mobilize the 3rd and 4th reserves as back up and when these reserves have been depleted then what? he will need more a.k.a Defcon 5 and then literally 'HELL' will one day descend upon the miskiin

 

Let's switch the gender and this time it's the lady who's a sexual addict god forbid i marry one of those sisters cause 42+ times a week and i will die!! am i now supposed to share her with other males? of course not. Medical treatment is what she needs

[Ameen]

Cara, its been a year now and homeboy is still cruising in gear 5....

 

At the miles he's racking up on the engine, he's probably gonna break down before he reaches 32 years of age.

 

But thats not the point. Thats just an example of one man and his need to marry multiple women in order to fulfill his natural desires.

 

But why are so many women against this...?

 

Please...state your case women...For once and for all...let us know the reasons....

[Cara.]

^I'm not against polygamy in principle, as long as all parties consent.

 

I would, however, like to be a fly on the wall when he tells his prospective second wife: "I have to have sex 10 times a day. My lovely wife won't oblige, but you seem to be the kind of girl who can. Let's get hitched!"

[umu zakaria]

LOOOOOl@Ameen. a whole year and he is stil cruising. Bisinka wax waalan baad sheegaysaa. Kaas naagtiisa uur ku jirtii baaba madoobaatay walaahi aminkaan way boloshay. acuudka.

 

No muslima will be against what Allah permitted but she has the right to ask for a divorce if she cant deal with a polygamist husband.

 

Ameen you ask why woman dislike ploygamy? I ask you if your wife decided to befreind another man and you know very well when n where they canoodle togather, what would say? God forbid that is haraam but logically apart from mixing up of paternal rights, the whole issue is the same. so you see my point. Polygamy is very hard on woman, it tears their hearts and bruises their souls however, we must accept as an order from Allah and strife to gain thawab through our struggle. After all life is not an easy journey and this world is just temporary. It could be fullfiling to share with your fellow sister what you love most.

[Pucca]

your friend needs to see a doctor.

[Al-Muminah]

Originally posted by umu zakaria:

LOOOOOl@Ameen. a whole year and he is stil cruising. Bisinka wax waalan baad sheegaysaa. Kaas naagtiisa uur ku jirtii baaba madoobaatay walaahi aminkaan way boloshay. acuudka.

 

No muslima will be against what Allah permitted but she has the right to ask for a divorce if she cant deal with a polygamist husband.

 

Ameen you ask why woman dislike ploygamy? I ask you if your wife decided to befreind another man and you know very well when n where they canoodle togather, what would say? God forbid that is haraam but logically apart from mixing up of paternal rights, the whole issue is the same. so you see my point. Polygamy is very hard on woman, it tears their hearts and bruises their souls however, we must accept as an order from Allah and strife to gain thawab through our struggle. After all life is not an easy journey and this world is just temporary. It could be fullfiling to share with your fellow sister what you love most.

Salaama alaykum,

 

Perfectly said mashaAllah.

[Zafir]

Cara, its been a year now and homeboy is still cruising in gear 5....

I think I will believe in this Mythical Creature before before I entertain notions of energizer bunny. But hey, here is a thought for your guy, Porn.

[Ameen]

Zafir, joining the world of porn is actually going to cause him depression and not lead to any degree of true satisfaction. In fact, its the exact opposite of what he needs to be doing.

 

Its clear that he's got an issue and by the way, Pucca...Dont be bad talking my friend when I'm not around to monitor your words...U heard! lol

 

No seriously, he's got an issue and it looks like to me that since the son of Adam will never truly become satisfied than homie needs to redirect his focus and put a greater effort into making it to Jannah. Than and there, a woman for paradise can bring peace to his soul.

 

But can someone take a wild guess as to what the first thing that brother would do when he enters Jannah...? I'll give you a few second to think about it.... and the correct answer is______________________ (well you don’t need me to tell you how he would spend his time).

 

 

Umm Zakaria, thats not really a fair example for multiple reasons. For one, a man and a woman have been created differently. Yes, its true that both a man and woman have created to fulfill their desires through each other or in other words, everyone has been created to have a need for sex. Dont get me wrong, some have a stronger sex drive than others and living proof would be my friend. But everyone has been created with some level of drive and the Messenger of Allah (saw) advised the young men and women to get married. Plain and simple, get hitched cause if you dont, sooner than later...you WILL find yourself in a tight situation. But the point is, we've been created differently and yes, I suppose a woman wouldnt be too fond about the whole idea of sharing her man but its NOTHING and I mean NOTHING compared to a man who is forced by a law from Allah to share his woman. And one proof to support my words is the fact that Allah, the All-Wise hasn't permitted such an action. The reason perhaps why Allah hasn't given women the right o marry multiple men (other than the fact that her pregnancy and the father of her baby would be difficult to determine when a woman has sexually relations with multiple men and our society can bare witness to that...) but another reason could be for the very reason that a man has not been created to tolerate the sharing of his woman. A woman would become jealous if she shared her husband but a man would rather kill himself, the woman and the men who are lying in this bed before he would accept the reality that they’ re would be two stars trying to put up big numbers while their on the same team. It wouldn’t work and one of them would need to get traded and perhaps the only means of trading is getting rid of him once and for all. Can you imagine such a world? Wars would be rampant and homicides would increase.

 

In fact, I have written verses of poetry in my Poetic Justice that describes a world where war began when the men of that time crossed moral lines and started to fulfill their desires with other men's wives. The result became the extinction of women living in that world and since only men remained, the world they lived in became a world of war.

Here are some verses describing such a world...

 

I embark upon the road to meet my Lord entertaining new thoughts

Pondering over a world with no women, just swords and rocks

A world where the strong survive and weak souls thrown into cages and locked

A world with no women, no children, no trips to enjoy the view at the docks

A world free from pretty boys and their chucks

No pick up lines directed at women trying to fulfill a lust

 

A world where dress shirts have been exchanged for armor that covers the chest

Where the pens and papers for poets have been buried and put to rest

A world where the men are standing in straight lines

Facing each other while engaged in acts of war and crimes

A life free from the presence of men who speak lies

No women encouraging their men as they stand to the side

Just blood shed during the day and some parts of the night

 

A world where death meets a man at the price of a sword

Not at the voice of a woman who continues to nag until he becomes old

A world where fulfilling a desires doesn’t mean spending a night with your wife

But sharpening your sword and training your horse so you can fight into the night

 

A world where the fighters from the same team meet at the edge of a known lake

Where the mentality of such men is make or break

Where death is just as real as life and life is no better then death

A life where every man is a soldier

Whether that man is courageous or a known coward

[Aaliyyah]

That's terrible. The two of you should apologize.

Cadaan, she is entitled for her opinion and I do apologize if came across rude.

 

 

Why look at such a situation with negativity?

Ameen, from religious perspective it is halaal. I do not recommend that ladies stop the guy from going after what he wants ( waste of time and energy not to mention he already hurt my pride for going after another lady). Rather, let him do whatever he wants. And, if they are like have the same beliefs as I do they should kick him out, end of story. Or, as One somalia if they want to be there for him and even take it to a whole new level and find him a second wife, by all means they should do it.I guess some of us are not that strong.

[Al-Muminah]

Salaama alaykum,

 

It's hard on a woman to realize that her man is not ''her man''. It is religiously permitted, but that doesn't mean any of us have to agree with it. You raised some really good points though.

[Pucca]

Originally posted by Ameen:

by the way, Pucca...Dont be bad talking my friend when I'm not around to monitor your words...U heard! lol

im sorry, i didnt mean to bad talk your friend.