Would you ask your husband-to-be to sign a contract that denies him a second wife?

[Passion_4_Fashion]

^^^long time no c sis...wa'guan

[Warrior of Light]

Originally posted by Jomaana:

Just curious. How many women here would ask their future husband that before marriage?

I intend to Inshallah but the caption will be different.

A contract which entitles me the right to know he wants to marry a second wife(before the consummation of the marriage).

 

I would prefer to know the reasons, he would like to remarry.Than hearing that he has already married, with the what you going to do about it look. I know its his right as well as mine. So if valid I think I will agree but it will depend on the situation. It maybe time to pack my bags and move on, who know?

Allah Yaalaam

[-Serenity-]

A contract which entitles me the right to know he wants to marry a second wife (before the consummation of the marriage).

:eek: . WOL...and here I thought you knew the religion. You dont need a contract to entitle you to know what your husband is upto. If he is fraternizing behind your back, its called plain old dirty-double-crossing and there is no excuse for it. Love and trust hold a marriage and if you cant trust him to be truthful with his dealings without a contract, then the marriage is doomed from the get go.

 

What you ladies need to have in ur contract is a clause that says in the event of a second marriage or cheating, you're granted instant divorce. Hence, if he does it behind you back...and doesnt tell you...you're literally divorced and he is sinning every sec he is with you. If this is too out there for you, just say you would expect a divorce if he married another...because, he could be honest with you and tell you and go ahead and refuse you a divorce which is the situation alot of women find themselves in.

[Warrior of Light]

Dear not every woman wants an instant divorce. Instead they want a fair hearing. She maybe comfortable with the new stipulation. The choice is hers. By forcing down her throat the instant divorce, your also denying her right.

 

I know my religion, and I know Im human too. And when matters come to marriage, people tend to change.Polygamy is allowed in Islam, I cant just write it off blindly.

[-Serenity-]

^^ I did say it was a choice to want instant divorce, noh? Perhaps you should re-read my reply. I was just informing you that ‘knowing what you man is upto’ is a natural right in a marriage…. Just like support and sex. .

Polygamy is allowed in Islam, I cant just write it off blindly.

We are talking about your rights dear. Your rights to be in a polygamous marriage.

 

p.s. I wasn’t trying to mortify your diin. Really. Sorry if you took it so.

[Som@li]

No way to agree into some contracts!

[Jacaylbaro]

looooooooooooooooool ,,,,,,,, ma waxbaa la kala iibsanayaa

[Abyan]

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his book Al-Mughni:

 

“If he married her on the condition that he should not make her move from her house or her city, then this condition is valid, because it was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘The most deserving of conditions to be fulfilled are those by means of which sexual intercourse becomes permissible for you.’ If he married her on the condition that he will not marry another wife, then she has the right to leave him if he does take another wife.” In conclusion, then, the conditions of the marriage contract are divided into three types, one of which must be adhered to, which is of benefit to the wife, such as her being able to stipulate that he cannot make her move from her house or city, or travel with him, or take another wife or a concubine. He has to adhere to these conditions, and if he does not, then she has the right to annul the marriage.” (Al-Mughni by Ibn Qudaamah, part 7, Kitaab al-Nikaah).

 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked this question and he replied in Al-Fataawa al-Kubra:

 

“Question: a man married a woman and she stipulated that he should not take another wife or make her move from her house, and that she could stay with her mother, so he married her on this basis. Does he have to adhere to this, and if he goes against these conditions, does his wife have the right to annul the marriage or not?

 

Answer: yes, these conditions and similar ones are valid according to the madhhab of Imaam Ahmad and other scholars among the Sahaabah and Taabi’een, such as ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas, Shurayh al-Qaadi, al-Oozaa’i and Ishaaq. According to the madhhab of Maalik, the condition states that if he marries another wife, (the first wife) has the choice of what to do, and this is a valid condition. The woman has the right to leave him in this case. This is similar to the idea in the Madhhab of Imaam Ahmad. The basis for this is the hadeeth narrated by (al-Bukhaari and Muslim) in al-Saheehayn from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): ‘The most deserving of conditions to be fulfilled are those by means of which sexual intercourse becomes permissible for you.’ ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab said: ‘Rights are in accordance with conditions.’ The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) dictated that the conditions which make sexual intercourse permissible are more deserving of fulfilment than others. This is the ruling on conditions of this nature.”

 

 

CONCLUSION: Yes you can state in your marriage contract that he can not have any other wives but remember, he does not have to agree to it. Few men are willing to give up this right so you need to consider that. You can ask it to be a condition but he does not have to agree to it and that thus could end your marriage plans with this man.

[Aaliyyah]

^^ I fail to see the reason of this contract.

 

 

If a husband brings a second wife, it shows that he does not love his first wife anymore. So, if the first wife knows whats good for her she can just kick him out of her house, or if she wanna put up with it. That is her problem

[ONE SOMALIA]

No why siging contract my husband is allowed to marry 4 wive and that is fine with me. I will help him all the way.

[Aaliyyah]

^ lol really? I doubt that.

[Miriam1]

ONE Somalia, lady your one of a kind, why would any sane person want to be forgotten leftovers?

I wonder if by breaking the contract the first wife can add another contingency, like a payout a certain amount in addition on top of what she is entitled to with of course the right to immediately divorce

[ONE SOMALIA]

Originally posted by Hayam:

[QB] ONE Somalia, lady your one of a kind, why would any sane person want to be forgotten leftovers?

 

 

I know now days some ladies believe they cant fine good man so I'm willing to share mine.

 

 

AAliyah416

lol really? I doubt that.

 

 

I'm sure sister......

[Ameen]

Originally posted by Hayam:

ONE Somalia, lady your one of a kind, why would any sane person want to be forgotten leftovers?

Leftovers? Is that how you feel?

Why look at such a situation with negitivity?

 

Anyways, I heard of a brother who tried to convince his first wife to hang around after he took a second wife, by reminding her of a lesson she learned in her early days at school. He reminded her the importance of sharing for he said, "Baby, sharing is caring. Remember the Messenger of Allah (saw) said that you will never taste true iman unless you love for your sister what you love for yourself and you do love me right? Right."

 

Fellas, please take note of the unique usage of words from the brother. His creativity. His gental approach. And last but surely not least, his usage of a very commonly known hadeeth which happens to be basic knowledge for most Muslims therefore there shouldn't be a need for her to request the chain of narrators regarding the hadeeth.

[Baluug]

lol really? I doubt that.

ONE Somalia, lady your one of a kind, why would any sane person want to be forgotten leftovers?

This is how a person gets treated when she speaks her opinion. She is responded with disbelief and ridicule. That's terrible. The two of you should apologize.