Would you ask your husband-to-be to sign a contract that denies him a second wife?

[sheherazade]

He can marry as many as he wants so long as I don't count as the many. If he won't sign on the dotted oline, he won't be coming near me let alone crawling into bed with me.

[-Serenity-]

I'm questioning if at all, marriage should be an option with the potential pool out there.. :rolleyes:

[Castro]

^ Curling, is this what you're saying: everybody out, diaper in the pool?

[Sharmarkee]

Originally posted by Intuition:

Asalaamu'Calaykum folks,

 

she may be the jealous type there for causing it to be a fitna Diinian wise you got to listen to your man, but if you had an agreement before hand, you’re covered.

 

Wasalaam.

Salaam,

 

LOl@"you’re covered"

There is Hysteria going on here! Marriage is LOve and Mercy between the couple ... not Ka Jajabis,and broken hearts, iyo ku xumee ... so cool down girls you dont need Cover like an old cars. all what you need is be the happy Lady of the house, and read the advice of Walaasheen "Xaqa ninkaagu kugu leeyahay then you don't see [Gabadh kale InShaaAllah].if you cannot win your man's heart what you gonna win ... nothing!!!

[hodman]

I would have him sign....in blood if I could get away with it!!!!

[Katrina]

Subhanallah,

Sharmarkee

There is Hysteria going on here! Marriage is LOve and Mercy between the couple ... not Ka Jajabis,and broken hearts, iyo ku xumee ... so cool down girls you dont need Cover like an old cars. all what you need is be the happy Lady of the house, and read the advice of Walaasheen "Xaqa ninkaagu kugu leeyahay then you don't see [Gabadh kale InShaaAllah].if you cannot win your man's heart what you gonna win ... nothing!!!

Subhanallah, now men want to talk about "love and mercy" pleeezeee!! When it's convenient for u'all.

When it comes to marrying many men have no problem defending the idea even if they wouldn't/couldn't handle more than one (at a time lol). They start roaring about their Islamic rights. Then why the hell do you care if a sister exercises the Islamic rights bestowed upon her by Allah!!!

"Win your man's heart", Where's the man's love and mercy when he's hurting his wife? STOP FLIP-FLOPPING!!

 

Simply_I

I personally dont think it is a wise decision to make the contract b4 you even begin your life together, since we can not predict the future what if problems arise? for example in your fertility (God forbid). Or issues of similar nature arise(dont want to go into details).

Your right one should think hard about such a contract as we all should anytime we sign the dotted line. Yet as it was mentioned by another SOL member each woman knows her tolerance level. Yes, most women say they would never accept it but when everything’s at stake their prior stand becomes a front while others would never deter regardless of the issue (kids or no kids). Our fate is pre-determined and for sure some of us won't be able to conceive. I understand the need for men to spread their seed and a woman's need to play mommy. I think adoption is a great and honorable option. We have so many Muslim/Somali children being raised by non-believers and what is each one of doing about it? Why don't we try and help them instead? What an honorable yet often ignored issue!! I think we should respect everyone regardless of their decision...marriage contracts after all are allowed by ISLAM, right?

 

Intuition, ditto.

[Sharmarkee]

Originally posted by Katrina:

Subhanallah,

Sharmarkee

quote:

---

There is Hysteria going on here! Marriage is LOve and Mercy between the couple ... not Ka Jajabis,and broken hearts, iyo ku xumee ... so cool down girls you dont need Cover like an old cars. all what you need is be the happy Lady of the house, and read the advice of Walaasheen "Xaqa ninkaagu kugu leeyahay then you don't see [Gabadh kale InShaaAllah].if you cannot win your man's heart what you gonna win ... nothing!!!

Subhanallah, now men want to talk about "love and mercy" pleeezeee!! When it's convenient for u'all.

When it comes to marrying many men have no problem defending the idea even if they wouldn't/couldn't handle more than one (at a time lol). They start roaring about their Islamic rights. Then why the hell do you care if a sister exercises the Islamic rights bestowed upon her by Allah!!!

"Win your man's heart", Where's the man's love and mercy when he's hurting his wife? STOP FLIP-FLOPPING!!

 

Simply_I

I personally dont think it is a wise decision to make the contract b4 you even begin your life together, since we can not predict the future what if problems arise? for example in your fertility (God forbid). Or issues of similar nature arise(dont want to go into details).

Your right one should think hard about such a contract as we all should anytime we sign the dotted line. Yet as it was mentioned by another SOL member each woman knows her tolerance level. Yes, most women say they would never accept it but when everything’s at stake their prior stand becomes a front while others would never deter regardless of the issue (kids or no kids). Our fate is pre-determined and for sure some of us won't be able to conceive. I understand the need for men to spread their seed and a woman's need to play mommy. I think adoption is a great and honorable option. We have so many Muslim/Somali children being raised by non-believers and what is each one of doing about it? Why don't we try and help them instead? What an honorable yet often ignored issue!! I think we should respect everyone regardless of their decision...marriage contracts after all are allowed by ISLAM, right?

 

Intuition, ditto.

Salaam,

 

Oh Well, Not all men are same... Or You putting everthing in one basket, Dumarkan yaa ka lug baxaa! There is [majority]of men who are decent and love their soul_mate! No matter what!

hayee wareer badnaa ma kula tahay:

[NinBrown]

LOL @ northern....the small print is what matters

 

This is the way i look at it...most women have a phobia about their husband getting a second wife...and in medcine there is pyschological treatment for phobias called systematic desensitization....In this procedure, events which cause anxiety (second wife) are recalled in imagination, and then a relaxation technique is used to dissipate the anxiety. With sufficient repetition through practice, the imagined event loses its anxiety-provoking power. At the end of training, when you actually face the real event, you will find that it too, just like the imagined event, has lost its power to make you anxious....the husband getting a second wife might actually help the wifey overcome her phobia.

 

dont loose u r heads girls..it might actually work.

[Faheema.]

^^LoL and you can trust a doctor to simplify everything….after all there is a cure for almost anything these days... Here you have it ladies A tried and tested method

[Katrina]

LOL, care to expand on the above mentioned relaxing technique?

 

I ain't being defensive. If men expect women to respect their decision then it should be visa versa, no?

Honestly, it doesn't bother me if men marry more than one. After all the prophet did and it's allowed in the religion but I do have the choice to accept or reject the situation. Is that asking for much? So, what's the weather like?

[Faarax-Brawn]

I would barely have the energy & time dealing with one loud mouthed heffa,i aint feelin' to get hit by more than one . Imagine going from one house & be met with qeylo and calaal?, thats a one way ticket to heart attack I am thinking of how to get rid of one,let alone getting another one.

 

 

Yall can stay the *BeeP* away from me and my loneliness,let let me live

 

[Wiilo]

Would you ask your husband-to-be to sign a contract that denies him a second wife? No but i would probably give him a money and the permission to have another wife.....

 

 

Go figure:..........

[Nephissa]

Would you ask your husband-to-be to sign a contract

Err' would that really stop him?

[Baluug]

Originally posted by Jamelia:

quote:Originally posted by liibaan:

Although I probably would never have more than one wife, I still would not sign a contract like that.

Why not, is it because you wish to keep all your options open?

Most definitely!!

[Pucca]

:rolleyes: ladies quit this silly business of signing papers and simply do something about it; make sure he NEVER wants/need/looks for another...

 

if i was the dude signing that paper, 10 years down the road that paper wouldn't hold...probably would claim insanity at the time of signing; then perhaps read out the quranic verses then make a case 'bout how you're restricting my rights as a fellow muslim brother. :rolleyes: if i can come up with this *and i'm not even a dude*...i'm sure the men can too.

 

ps. no i wouldn't make him sign papers.