Would you ask your husband-to-be to sign a contract that denies him a second wife?

[Walk_for_Somalia]

Just curious. How many women here would ask their future husband that before marriage?

[Khayr]

Salamz,

 

You can search the SOL topics on the topic of Polygamy because it has been discussed over and...over and....over....and...(you get the point!)

 

Would you ask your husband-to-be to sign a contract that

denies

him a second wife

Denies...to deny someone means to Forbid them, to make something HARAM for them.

 

Haram means FORBIDDEN

 

But to help answer your question sis,

 

In the Deen, there is a principle called 'ISTIXLAL' which says that

 

'YOU CAN'T MAKE SOMETHING THAT IS HARAM to be HALAL and something that is HALAL to be HARAM'

 

i.e. You can't tell someone that they can't marry a bengali muslim simply because they are bengali.

[Chocolate and Honey]

But you can sign a contract that limits him to you. promise is a promise, that is what the sheikhs said

-------------------------------------

The battle to be the best has just begun

[Dhagax-Tuur]

Khayr, beautiful response, maansha Allah.

[Alle-ubaahne]

In our male's secret agenda about marrying the future wife, we say, "Naag been ayaa lagu soo xero galiyaa, runna waa lagu dhaqaa", which means in english you can only subdue a women with clever lie, (during shukaansi), but engage her with truth in marriage.

 

we mastered breaking contracts and deals to an extent of breaking every oath and signing contracts that our warlords make for Somalia! What do you expect a poor contract with gabar hadhow bacdaada qaado ku dhaheyso!

[Simply_I]

Sis i think b4 makin such a decision it would be a very good idea to read about polygamy and learn more about the issue.

 

I personally dont think it is a wise decision to make the contract b4 you even begin your life together, since we can not predict the future what if problems arise? for example in your fertility (God forbid). Or issues of similar nature arise(dont want to go into details).

 

After all polygamy is to ease and make life comfortable for both parties, now why would you want to sign a contract to create a situation that might possibly be uncomfortable or "Dhibaato" for either of you in the future?

[Reality Check]

Marriage contracts are the best way to go. Since people nowadays don't know how to keep their word. It is permissible in Islam, so why the heck not?

[Baluug]

Although I probably would never have more than one wife, I still would not sign a contract like that.

[Hayat]

a curious thought...........one that i can absolutely say i have pondered on.......................personally such contract would not be viable in islamic terms the contract between husband and wife is of different nature......its an agreement not a bidding. but having pondered on this very thought i would like to enlighten on it a bit and enforce the notion that.............she can not ask her for husband such..........but for the ladies in the room.........if you really don't want him to do so and it would kill you.............u could always state in your marriage contract that if he did want a second wife.....you could leave him

[Jamelia]

Originally posted by liibaan:

Although I probably would never have more than one wife, I still would not sign a contract like that.

Why not, is it because you wish to keep all your options open?

[Strawberry_Xu]

I always understood a marriage contract to be an agreement to which both parties subscribe to of their own free will.

 

And again, as I understood it, a woman can ask in her contract that her husband cannot marry another woman wihout her permission and if he does so anyway, she is entitled to leave him.

 

This way, you don't block the option of the second wife, only the manner in which this arrangement takes place. I think that's plenty reasonable, and if a man refuses to sign such a contract, I can only assume that he has other plans that he's not telling me about.

 

Btw, my marriage contract will be the weight of several bricks.....I'll leave nothing to chance or more importantly, his will.

[Intuition]

Asalaamu'Calaykum folks,

 

Man its been awhile since I stepped foot in this joint! I doubt I'm that well known to be missed, however, I am grateful to be back amongst my intellectually stimulating beebal . Marriage my friend’s is a tricky business, and with all business come contracts. Very in-depth contracts for the reason that just like a business, all parties involved must know what they are getting them selves in to. As for the issue of second wives, the sheikhs have spoken and it the girls right to add this in to her contract. But keep in mind the issue at hand, by the woman putting this in to the contract she is not saying I am “against†polygamy because that would go against the diin as Khayr mentioned 'YOU CAN'T MAKE SOMETHING THAT IS HARAM to be HALAL and something that is HALAL to be HARAM'. The issue is that this woman knows her self and feels that she can not handle being put in such a situation, i.e. she may be the jealous type there for causing it to be a fitna for her, lakiin at the end of the day she wants the choice to say hey if you make that decision kuma deedayo the 2nd woman, but I have the right to back out, just like she can put in her contract that her husband can not take her anywhere out of her will, ie move to Timbuktu or something. Diinian wise you got to listen to your man, but if you had an agreement before hand, you’re covered.

 

Wasalaam.

[Haneefah]

^WLC back sis

 

No one has the right to deny someone of their God given rights. So no, I wouldn't! However, I would make sure that he knows my stance on the subject beforehand.

[Valenteenah.]

Hi Intuition. Of course you have been missed. :cool:

 

 

I wouldn't shack up with a man who has not signed such a contract, preferably in blood.

 

Of course, I could go without it, but only with the explicit undertanding that I will cut his throat and slash his wrists if he were to look at another woman (let alone set up house with her) while he is married to ME.

 

 

Having said that, I have already made an agreement with my swain. Should he remain loyal and committed to me throughout our life together, I will let him marry two 17 year-old girls when he is 70.

 

This will suit us both, because it will enable me to play the magnanimous wife and he could satisfy his paedophilic instincts before hopefully dying of a speedy heart-attack/stroke soon after.

[N.O.R.F]

^^looool (shakes head)

 

Your contracts should read something along the lines of:

 

The husband should not re-marry if still in his first marriage.

 

But then the man should insert a small print which reads:

 

Subject to Husband's wish in increasing the numbers in his tribe