What Would You Say?!

[silent-sistah]

THE WORST OF SINNERS BECOME THE BEST MUSLIMS!

 

sister...wlcm to the forum

 

InshaAllah pray that Allah makes life easier for her, and since she still has a chance to repent, advice her to make changes- go to the mosque, cover up, ect

 

 

sis, if this girl is not willing to change, dont corrupt yourself.......i mean u become what your friends are, (im not talking about how ppl will judge u) sooner or later, u will end up seeing what she did as 'normal', (if she carries on) and im not saying u will but Allah knows best.

 

i pray that she finds Allah and His 4givness ===Amiin

[Jaabir]

Masha alaah.. you are one hell of a friend and I wish could have a friend like you.. ,

 

my beloved sister,,

 

I do understand how difficult it could be for you to see your best friend violating the Islamic teachings you endear.. walaal your friend needs Advice, and I know giving advice is not easy, specially not so if the person is not inclined to accept the advice. If she is indeed your “best friend”, then perhaps you need to think about how you should approach the subject of her sleeping around. For example, you might wish to discuss this topic with her on a personal level and inform her that what she is doing is not Islamically acceptable. Rather than lecturing her about the impermissibility pre-marital sex, you might want to try and reach for her as friend who is concerned about her overall welfare.

Also advice her a little more about using her time more constructively. do not be harsh with her as she may actually become frustrated with you and threaten to terminate your friendship all together.

In addition, you should strive to be patient with her. She might not be receptive to your advice in the beginning, however, over time, she may come to realize the consequences of her actions and stop having sex.

 

You must make du'a for her, asking Allah (swt) to guide her to the best of deeds and away from sin.

 

 

Originally posted by Opinionated:

Exceptional by nature, Hon, You must feel you have alot of responsibility towards her on your shoulders, but you really don't! This is between God and her, and if she has conscience then she will repent, inshallah. But don't kill yourself worrying about something she did in the past and be there for her and advice her when people turn their backs on her. That's being a true friend.

This is what I call American Individualism. Walaashiis she should worry about her simply because she is a best friend picking on a bad behavior, although she have sinned and don’t seem to care much about it, I am pretty sure she is somewhat ridden with guilt and is probably disgusted over what she is doing. She is very volunrable and in an extremely delicate situation, obviously Shytaan has taken her soul hostage, calling her names and alienating her (specially from her best friend) will not help her come back. If anything, it will make her drown deeper in sin

[- diamond princess -]

Thank You,

 

I understand the wrong in her doings. But this right now isn't the case. I have tried over and over again to tell her that because of your actions you must change your ways. Meaning not go out to clubs, chill with guys, touch them (for that leads tosex), and other small things. It doesnt seem to work as I noticed.

 

I am curious exceptional_by_nature, would you let your brother or someone you care marry this girl?

Luckly I have no older brothers, so therefore I don't have to worry bout that. But as for someone I care for, I got to let them talk to her and let them understand there differences. (Maybe there might not even be)

 

Am slightly curious....how did you find out ur friend slept with the guy? Did she tell ya herself or did you hear it thru the grapevine?

As a bestfriend I got her to spill the beans about it. At the time, it was between us. But then she let a so called "friend" know. And everyone heard it. She feels bad for telling that girl. Because now when she goes to anywhere and she see's anyone they just give her a look. Behind her back they would say "I knew she was gonna become a *** , I bet you she's gonna do it again"...That is what I'm afraid of.

 

Lastly all of this talk about 100 Lashes...ouch. I don't even think she wants to change the way she wears her cloths forget Lashes. I will try SOL to help her out. But just cause of what others say she slowly drifting away from me, no more late night phone calls, no more going out together, nothing.

 

keep your advice coming...as I am trying EVERYTHING....I hope she realizes that too!

 

.:peace n luv:.

[imperial-lady]

Well this is a personal sitiuation. I feel bad that your girl is actually parading around telling everyone about her personal business. But then again she is doing it subconsciously, because she is hurt, and she wants to express her inner thoughts, she just doens't know how. I'd suggest is that be her friend, do not judge her, because u have no right. She made a mistake to her it wasn't a mistake, and she will deal with the consequences, in her own terms. But whatever u do, please be there for her, even if things aren't right between u two, at the moment. Sex and women, plus emotions,....damn we are cursed! :mad:

[Dhimbil]

E.B.N

Keep talking to your freind, not necessary about this topic, just general stuff until she feels confident with you again, then bring it up and ask her to repent. But if you keep bringing up this subject every time you see her or remind her about this..she may distance her self from you. Take it easy on her, until she is emotionally stable again.

 

Check the following link...our sister Raxma posted in the islam forum....it maybe useful.

 

Click Here

[SomeAlien]

dont stop being her friend. she needs you now more than ever.

[AalTo]

SOMALIONLINE LADIES ARE WADAADO...GOOD WAY ACTING

LAKIN RUN MAY NIIGA TAHAY?

[Reality Check]

Originally posted by Darman:

quote:Originally posted by Opinionated:

Exceptional by nature, Hon, You must feel you have alot of responsibility towards her on your shoulders, but you really don't! This is between God and her, and if she has conscience then she will repent, inshallah. But don't kill yourself worrying about something she did in the past and be there for her and advice her when people turn their backs on her. That's being a true friend.

This is what I call American Individualism. Walaashiis she should worry about her simply because she is a best friend picking on a bad behavior, although she have sinned and don’t seem to care much about it, I am pretty sure she is somewhat ridden with guilt and is probably disgusted over what she is doing.

If making sense is american individualism....then call me a f* patriotic redneck!! I don't appreciate you labelling me like that, darman, so I suggest you take coupla steps back. Funny thing is, Many guys come on here talking about how this girl misbehaved and sinned and bla bla bla, but they go around chasing girls all day (and it sure ain't for marriage purposes). Take your individualism crap and speak to her like you would want a friend to speak to you ...geez!

 

:cool:

[Changed]

somali never cease to amaze me walaahi who ever said she would be punished is wrong like opinionated said there is no country that follow the shariah of islam so her only way out is to repent and never do it again and trust me i asked a sheikh and that was his respond ......

 

i wonder why some of y'll are being harsh .......what do u y'll want to do with all the men that are commiting zinnah almost everyday ... Saddly Zinnah is a way of life to somali teens these days and the ONLY way according to me is HELP THEM BY BEING SUPPORTIVE ....if we tell the person they did the wrong thing they are just going to retaliate and that wont help them , to be a good friend u have to try to get to the person and attacking them would only bring they deffece machanism to ACT....Walaalo be there for her and TRY to persuade her not to do it again i know that is hard but remind her of allah, tell her the punishment that given to adulters and then tell her how she escaped that harsh punish cuz there is no islamic country that follows the shariah remind her that if there is a country that follows the shariah she will have to be punished with 100 lashes (this may sound harsh but it may help in some cases u will have to decide if it will help) , tell her this is the world we are being tested on for the world we will live in for eternity and if she wants to have a good life in heaven and not hell she has to work for it ..Tell her about hell and heaven tell her about allah and how great he is ..TEll her allah is

GAFUUR RAXiim..BUT then remind THAT he is shadidul ciqaab too so she gota stop for once and for good and if she really wants to have sex that bad suggest marriage that is the only way she can escape without a sin<== all those are my opinions u can either take it or leave it .....i had to express my self

 

aalto. what kind of question was that ......u doubt the sisters now eeh :confused: :mad:

[Xafsa]

Opinionated ---I agree with you hon.

I promised myself I was gonna stay out of this but some people need to be answered.

 

nomadrebell-----you know this how? Assuming you have been given the exculsive right to label people.

 

people don't understand the fact that your job is to pull people toward the right path not chase them away. By labeling the person a dhilo you auto automatically push her towards the bad.

All the sister can do is talk to her and pray for her. I am sure we are all guilty of alot of sins that we don't want people to know about. So act like true muslims and be compassionate!!

 

What is this talk about punishment? There is only 2 ways in which she can be punished...if she actually comes forward and confesses...and if you have 4 witnesses who saw her and the guy...and i'm not talking about seeing them in the same bed naked...the prophet (SCW) said you have to see them inside each other like a needle and thread. And all this is assuming there is an islamci government that follows the shari'ah.

 

Peace and luv

[Jaabir]

Originally posted by Opinionated:

quote:Originally posted by Darman:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Opinionated:

Exceptional by nature, Hon, You must feel you have alot of responsibility towards her on your shoulders, but you really don't! This is between God and her, and if she has conscience then she will repent, inshallah. But don't kill yourself worrying about something she did in the past and be there for her and advice her when people turn their backs on her. That's being a true friend.

This is what I call American Individualism. Walaashiis she should worry about her simply because she is a best friend picking on a bad behavior, although she have sinned and don’t seem to care much about it, I am pretty sure she is somewhat ridden with guilt and is probably disgusted over what she is doing.

If making sense is american individualism....then call me a f* patriotic redneck!! I don't appreciate you labelling me like that, darman, so I suggest you take coupla steps back. Funny thing is, Many guys come on here talking about how this girl misbehaved and sinned and bla bla bla, but they go around chasing girls all day (and it sure ain't for marriage purposes). Take your individualism crap and speak to her like you would want a friend to speak to you ...geez!

 

:cool:

Walaashiis.. you have to understand that for as many girls who don’t sleep around there are guys who don’t as well, I am not trying to stereotype anybody here, I was only suggesting to Exceptional By Nature not to give up on her girlfriend and desert her just like everybody did.. you, in the contrary, said its between her and Alaah and she shouldn’t worry herself about her friend’s behavior and that is not right, our prophet SAWS said Al diin Nasiiha (our religion is about advice) meaning we have to take the initiative of calling on our neglectful brothers and sisters to come back to the right bath, what happened to that girl may as well happen to me and you. the ethical foundations of the life style in the west are based on principles that are not Islamic. Therefore we have to strive to counter those ideologies by propagating the Islamic fundamentals to each another to salvage our deen and Islamic identity. Please don’t take whatever I said as I personal attack. I have much respect and love for you and your opinions. I was only voicing mine

[SCORPION_SISTA]

First of all, exceptional_by_nature, i don't know you or know your friend, but in my dictionary a friend who post personal stuffs about their friends does not have a character of a good friend...Even if she told others it was her personal choice, but u had absoultly no right to air her personal sexual story on a website, regardless of your annonymosity and hers...Second thing, it seems people, here and your community, are throwing the stones and bringing out the whip to punish this girl, but what about the guy she committed this sin with? I mean doesn't the phantom lover join the name calling ceremony...Shouldn't his marriage prospect be questioned...Third, if this was her first time, how the hell she is a "dillo"...I mean with labels like that and the people in your community already assuming she would be doing it again, is it hard to believe she is not repenting...Maybe she thinks if people already labeling her as "h.o.e" for being in love and acting irrationally and therefore making one mistake she as might as well just continue on the path to "whoring"...When one repents a sin, in my opinion, it means that person has no intention or will put best effort not to repeat it again...I had seen people ask for forgivness and just go back to doing the same thing over and over, maybe she is honest with herself and isn't ready to repent yet...Each person to their own pace...And lastly, it isn't in your place to deal with your friend's sexual intimacy, you believe what u believe and take care of not breaking your own believes...In no way is it your job to deal or handle your friend's intimacy issues for them...You either be there for your friends when they have fallen, without judgemental mind, or join the hollier than anyone else league...To me your choice seems clear and made...That is my 1 1/2 cents on this topic...Bee bye.

[Reality Check]

Originally posted by Darman:

Walaashiis.. you have to understand that for as many girls who don’t sleep around there are guys who don’t as well, I am not trying to stereotype anybody here, I was only suggesting to Exceptional By Nature not to give up on her girlfriend and desert her just like everybody did.. you, in the contrary, said its between her and Alaah and she shouldn’t worry herself about her friend’s behavior and that is not right, our prophet SAWS said Al diin Nasiiha (our religion is about advice) meaning we have to take the initiative of calling on our neglectful brothers and sisters to come back to the right bath, what happened to that girl may as well happen to me and you. the ethical foundations of the life style in the west are based on principles that are not Islamic. Therefore we have to strive to counter those ideologies by propagating the Islamic fundamentals to each another to salvage our deen and Islamic identity. Please don’t take whatever I said as I personal attack. I have much respect and love for you and your opinions. I was only voicing mine

First of all, I respect your opinions. Second, I got offended when you labelled me as "an american individualist"... I ain't american just yet! Third of all, it is between Allah and her! and just in case you didn't finish reading my whole statement, I also said advice your friend and be there for her. Your can't force your opinions and ideals on someone else, or else they are going to run the other way, na'mean. In the end, the final decision goes to that girl...but all E.B.N could do is to talk to her and get to the root of the problem.

 

If what I just said to you sounds like a personal attack..well it is not. Just clearing the air, is all.

 

:cool: