- diamond princess - Posted July 22, 2003 What Up?! Let me start by saying I KNOW sex before marriage ain't right...we all know that but I need to ask you this what would you say when you find out your best-friend had sex with a guy she only knew a month :eek: . At first I tried to deal with it by telling her you done wrong. But its to late its been done. Now as a friend I failed to help her when everyone else puts her down as a "dhillo" or "sharmuto". No one speaks to her the way they use to. And she claims that she was presuaded. I tried believing that. But its hard to. She looks like she was happy she done it the way she walks around as if nothing happened. I dunno man. Right now I'm confused about our trust and friendship. You can find me in the Jokez Forum, tryna relieve ma stress. .:peace n luv:. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Changed Posted July 22, 2003 Just talk to her about it and tell her she did something wrong but god is forgiving and if she repents she will be forgiven :confused: :mad: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuCkY Posted July 22, 2003 GIRL ALL I CAN SAY IS BE HER FRIEND AND BE THERE FOR HER LIKE YOU ALWAYS HAVE BEEN(ASSUMING THATS WHAT FRIENDS DO)WHEN SHE IS HAVING A ROUGH TIME. THIS IS A TIME SHE NEEDS YOU THE MOST...I REALLY THINK THAT SHE IS HURTING INSIDE AND TRYING TO ACT AS IF NOTHIN HAPPENED...SOONER OR LATER SHE IS GONNA HAVE TO FACE REALITY-WHICH CAN BE A SLAP IN THE FACE. THE FRIENDSHIP AND TRUST AMONG THE TWO OF YOU SHOULD NOT BE IN JEOPARDY BECAUSE OF WHAT SHE DID. WHATS DONE IS DONE...NOW ALL YOU CAN DO IS TALK TO HER AND LEND HER A COMFORTING SHOULDER TO CRY ON. TELL HER NOT TO DO SUCH AN INANE THING LIKE THAT AGAIN. ONLY ALLAH CAN HELP HER THROUGH THIS ORDEAL. TELL HER TO SEEK REPENTANCE FROM ALLAH BECAUSE HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO WILL FORGIVE HER. AND WHAT OTHERS SAY OR THINK ABOUT HER SHOULD NOT MATTER BECAUSE THEY ARE ONLY ADDING MORE DANBI TO THEIR BOOK. HOPE THAT HELPED A LITTLE Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bachelor Posted July 22, 2003 She did something, which is immoral, unethical and not to mention unislamic It is not fair for both of you specially for your freind to be lebeled as "bad girl". Here is my 2 cent advice. Human being make a mistake and we learn from our mistake by paying a price for it. You, as a freind, have a great burden of responsibilty to let her know that she, committed an adultry. Therefore, she must be punished accordingly, which is 100 lash . By doing so, you will set your friend sinless. I am curious exceptional_by_nature, would you let your brother or someone you care marry this girl? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nomadrebell Posted July 22, 2003 LOL@exceptional_by_nature!!!YOUR FRIEND IS A DHILO INDEED..BUT YOU SEEM A NICE GIRL AND MY ADVICE TO YOU IS FIND A BETTER FRIEND THAN A DHILO. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Changed Posted July 22, 2003 Originally posted by Bachelor: I am curious exceptional_by_nature, would you let your brother or someone you care marry this girl? U ARE BEING JUDGEMENTAL :eek: JUST PRAY FOR HER TO TURN TO THE RIGHT BATH AND CALLING HER DHILO WONT HELP PEOPLE FOR ALLAH SAKE GIVE OUT ADVICES NOT DISSES Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Raxmah Posted July 22, 2003 Asalamu alaikum Sis, talk to your friend, assuming that religion isn't important to her. Let her know, she has committed a big sin, tell her to repent, and never to make the same mistake again. AS for the people, they will always judge her even if they act worse than that, tell her she should fear god, not about the ppl, and the most you can do is be her friend, even though yuo might not trust her as well as you did before, she needs someones help, and am assuming you want to help. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bachelor Posted July 22, 2003 Mizz Dear! the important thing is not to stop questioning. I said i am curious and asking a question here rather than arbitrator. By all means, i am not in a position to judge this girl. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Legend of Zu Posted July 22, 2003 Arent we all Judgemental???..We Love to judge others..arent we?...I am sure we all do Similar sins or even worse...just becoz we somalis dont see them big doesnt mean they are not....Let me break it down " xanta, beenta, Reading The Zodiac Predictions, what about those who leave their kids and eat chaad...lettin their kids fall into the hands of predators, what about those who use Ribah?...etc..etc....hmmmm..we dont see anyone being harsh on lairs?? or Backbiters!!!....do we?... Cheers Dudes n Dudettes Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reality Check Posted July 22, 2003 Exceptional by nature, Hon, You must feel you have alot of responsibility towards her on your shoulders, but you really don't! This is between God and her, and if she has conscience then she will repent, inshallah. But don't kill yourself worrying about something she did in the past and be there for her and advice her when people turn their backs on her. That's being a true friend. Originally posted by Bachelor: You, as a freind, have a great burden of responsibilty to let her know that she, committed an adultry. Therefore, she must be punished accordingly, which is 100 lash . By doing so, you will set your friend sinless. I am curious exceptional_by_nature, would you let your brother or someone you care marry this girl? Hold up..wait a minute..stop! 100 lashes? you have got to be kidding me? Even in Islam you need proof (which is not easy to come by) that she slept wit this dude, but since you think you know it all, can you tell me what kind of proof the islamic court requires? can you? I'm curious bachelor, since there are alot of bruvas who have done the deed running around, would your let one of your boys marry your sister or someone you care for? :rolleyes: :rolleyes: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted July 22, 2003 e_b_n, Am slightly curious....how did you find out ur friend slept with the guy? Did she tell ya herself or did you hear it thru the grapevine? I'm always disturbed by ppl who reveal their sins. Why for God's sake? Wuxuu Ilaahay kuu qariyay lama sheego. Opinionated, If the girl confessed to her actions, then no witnesses are needed. But you might ask how such a punishment could be implemented since we don't live in a country governed by Shariah Law? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reality Check Posted July 22, 2003 Barwaaqo, If there are no governments that practice the true shari'ah laws then I guess we leave the judgements to ALLAH (s.a.w.)! as it should be in the first place. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miriam1 Posted July 22, 2003 I would like to second Barwaqoo's question. Something else that slighty disturbs me, is when you said that she acts as if nothing has happened...is there no guilt whatsoever? U really cant do anything,pray that allah forgives her and and tell her to pray for forgivness. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blessed Posted July 22, 2003 Originally posted by Opinionated: Exceptional by nature, Hon, You must feel you have alot of responsibility towards her on your shoulders, but you really don't! This is between God and her, and if she has conscience then she will repent, inshallah. But don't kill yourself worrying about something she did in the past and be there for her and advice her when people turn their backs on her. That's being a true friend. Okay, lass.. I am about getting tired of agreeing with you. But thats honestly what I was thinking. Just wanna add, walaalo not everyone is blessed with guidance, so pray for Allah to guide your friend and a true friend never gives up on you no matter what. Put yourself, in her shoes, how would you wanted to be treated by the people you call friends? Tell her, what she did was wrong and try to find out what was going through her mind. I find it hard to believe that a sis can be persuaded into that sort of thing, unless she is doesn't think much about herself. What she does with a farax is not a reflection of your friendship, so it shouldn't affect it. My Allah forgive and guide the sister (and us all). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bachelor Posted July 22, 2003 Opinionated wrote Even in Islam you need proof (which is not easy to come by) that she slept wit this dude, but since you think you know it all, can you tell me what kind of proof the islamic court requires? can you? Absolutely, Islam require proof a beyond a reasonable doubt. Not only one or two but three witnesses who were present at the seen. In this case, it rather seems that the friend of exceptional_by_nature to be confess or tell her friend about it. Therefore; one should assume it is true. I'm curious bachelor, since there are alot of bruvas who have done the deed running around, would your let one of your boys marry your sister or someone you care for? Thanks for asking that Question. Not in a million year. Though the final decision is hers to make. I would not even recommend to someone i know let alone my sister. But if they ask me an advice only an advice. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
