SOMALIS FEAR CHILDREN WILL FALSELY CLAIM ABUSE

[Rising Phoenix]

To be honest, I am quite surprised by the amount of people that seem to think this girl is making her story up. Like someone said, there are TWO sides to each story, and it's the parents' word against the girl's in this case. And obviously, considering the fact that we're Somalis, most believe the father.

 

To all those that think fathers don't abuse their children, you are sadly mistaken. Children get abused every day by their fathers while their mothers stand by and do NOTHING. In our society, we are taught the father is right, no matter how wrong it seems. So very few Somali mothers would stand against their husbands, and even if she did, he might beat her too. I have seen this happen myself on several occasions. Let's not be disillusioned here, people. Somalians are not bereft of the common evils in this world, so to say Somali fathers wouldn't do it is sadly IGNORANT.

 

And it seems highly unlikely to me that a Somali girl would kiss a boy in public, knowing how people talk. It's ingraved into us that there shouldn't be any physical contact or interaction with someone of the opposite sex. She was most likely just hanging out with him, as most kids do with eachother. And we all know how Somali fathers would react :rolleyes: . And when the rage comes over you, you frankly don't know what you're doing. It's very possible that you might kill your child without realising, and plus, this father might have been under influence (a.k.a KHAT).

 

When she became sick in a Kenyan refugee camp, her father regularly carried her on his back for miles to the nearest hospital, he testified.

So? Is this not a father's job, to care for his children? If she was sick, then it is his DUTY to look after her. He shouldn't make it sound as if he is doing her a FAVOUR , after all, he brought her into this world, no?

 

Mizz-Unique, sis, I know you mentioned you don't have brothers, but I do, and they certainly are treated differently. Somali boys get away with murder (so to speak) while Somali girls will get murdered. Also, I cannot believe that a mother is allowed to kill her children. No one is allowed to take a life apart from the all-mighty Allah. Parents were GIVEN children, they weren't permitted to TAKE them away from this world.

[Changed]

And it seems highly unlikely to me that a Somali girl would kiss a boy in public, knowing how people talk. It's ingraved into us that there shouldn't be any physical contact or interaction with someone of the opposite sex. . And when the rage comes over you, you frankly don't know what you're doing. It's very possible that you might kill your child without realising, and plus, this father might have been under influence (a.k.a KHAT).

khad does not do what u think it does(its not alcohol or coc...its more like something that lossen them up) :rolleyes: yes we cant have a physical contact with men cuz its anti islam :rolleyes:

hon did u read what she said she said he threatened her only threatned her and he slaped her ..i get threatend to be slap up to this day and am 19 (i know my mom wont hit me ever again but i still remember the pain and get scared with the mention of the word even though i know at the back of my head it wont happen).....how many times did we(somalis) get threatned by our MOMs.....GOD BLESS MY DAD AND HIS SOUL HE NEVER HIT ANY OF US ALXAMDULILAH (allah u naxaristo)...

 

am not justifiying other parents that beat the living crab out of girls and want them to be the slaves to their sons and if the mother talks she probably be beat that is a totally different case hon but this case has no base, the girl used to wear hijaab and when she gets to school she would change :eek: ..she and the white people she lived with lied about her keeping her religion while a friend of hers cought her in jeans and pink shirt after she left her family..obviously he was mesmarized with the american culture and she the word harrasment is new to her no wonder she took the drastic measure...

 

hon u said they were given the right to take care of us who said that to u walaalo......mother can ask their husband to pay for breast feeding her kids ...they way we have rights on them how about the rights they have on us ......remember jannar lies on the parents feet .......how come if they curse (INKAAR) u are bound not to go to heaven.....

 

girl if u take ur mom on ur back and walk from here usa to makkah u wont even pay back (the pain she went through) the night she nearly dropped u ...the parents have more right on us ........first its good and then parents they are number two and there is no smell of heaven without parents .......and i think the doocil was an adult cuz girls age min 9 and more.......and why are competing with men .......god made us of a bone from adam remember .....i dont think parents should favor one sex over another ......but when i asked my mom she said ...parents love the person that shows more compasion to them ...so if its ur brother well he earned it and if its ur sister she earned it ......

She was most likely just hanging out with him, as most kids do with eachother. And we all know how Somali fathers would react

well that is true but dont u think she over reacted by complaining against him?

 

would u do what she did to ur parents if they did what she said they did ? :confused:

i know i would never

[SomeAlien]

he alledgedly threathened her with a knife, to be fair, thats not just any parental threat of discipline.

[shyhem]

What two sides of the story are u guys talking about.There is no two sides to this story.In this case, and under any circumstances i believe the parent or the father is,was and will be right.The girl has not only made up stories;she actually deserves to be shipped back to Somalia, where she will discover the stress her parents under go daily just to make sure she, indeed is safe and well taken care of in this damn nation.

 

Foster home is not a place any somali should be seen hanging around.She will not only lose her faith and culture she will be physically and psychologically be abused by this strangers claiming to be helping her today.

 

From what i have seen in my city,two months in foster care, is basically the begining of self destruction of this individual,i won't be surprised if she seen in public drunk and hanging out with other corrupt somalis.

 

The best among us are those who obey their parents, and the best parents are those who discpline their children regardless of where they reside.

[Changed]

if every threat a somali parent made was to be taken seriously, all of our parents would be in jail by now .......they bluff 80% of the time and as somalis i think :rolleyes: ...we call it booto.... u find it at www.booto.com

like he said he made sure her mom dealt with her and i bet she made up the knife part....all this time i was just taking her word and thinking he said it but denied the alligation :rolleyes:

[imperial-lady]

he harrased the girl.why would a 12 yrd old lie. :rolleyes:

 

mizz-unique i cant believe u with the crazy father.girl u need me to enlighten u with my ideas

 

cia

[LuCkY]

Very interesting.I kind of agree with some of your points-the fathers side and the girLs side.

 

The way i see it the parents have every right to discipLine their chiLdren. As SomaLis we aLways tend to exaggerate-its part of who we are as peopLe.

 

I cant take sides because onLy the ALLah, the father and the girL know who is teLLing the truth and who is not.

 

I have to say i have seen many SomaLi fathers that get out of Line and sometimes endanger the chiLds weLL being-im not saying they shouLdnt discipLine their kids but their is a fine Line between discipLining a chiLd and endangering them. And the mother doesnt do a thing about it...why?because some of them are scared for themseLves so they dont say a thing, whiLe others dont say a thing because they cant stand up to their husbands.

 

If he threatened her with a knife :eek: and its the truth he shouLdnt have-that is beyond discipLine.He in the first pLace shouLdnt have jumped to concLusions about the boy and his daughter-they obvisiouLy werent doing anything. Even if she was he shouLd have taLked to her about it-that way she wouLd have at Least seen where he is coming from and maybe Listen to her father.

 

But Lets not act Like some(maybe a few)SomaLis dont abuse their kids-yes they do. And i reaLLy feeL sorry for those kids because they are the ones in danger-not the so-caLLed-freedom seekers.

UnfortunateLy our society Like any other does the doubLe standard-its a shame but what can we reaLLy do about that?

 

From the Likes of it the girL Looks Like she is teLLing a Lie-dressing up in the court and wearing jeans and smaLL shirt to schooL-typicaL of some freedom seekers. And i dont doubt what the father did couLd be true because i have seen it happen. What he shouLd have done is taLk to his daughter and be aware of what she does in and out of the house and i beLieve this matter wouLd not have come to this end today.

 

We(somaLis)need to Learn to taLk TO our kids and not AT them. We have to remember that COMMUNICATION is the key.

[Ayaan8321]

Originally posted by MIZZ-UNIQUE:

oh my god what do u guys call abuse ......if my mom or dad killed me they have the right to do so cuz they besides ALLAH they bought me to this earth(being a little extreme) and walahi if u look at it religiously if a mother kills her kids she wont be punished for it in the life hereafter cuz she is permitted to if she want to......i dont feel bad for the doocil that kissed or hanged out with the white guy :mad: ...the dad took a different route he should not have threatened her but he did it just so she had something to fear :rolleyes: ..he was not gona kill his own child :eek: (he went walked from the camp they lived in to i dont know where just to make sure she had a doctor now tell me why would this oday want to kill his daughter)...we have tradition and some we must keep and that tradition of teaching ur kids how to behave is one of them

..when a child in jr high is interested in a man what would u expect from her when she is 14 or fifteen :rolleyes: ...i hated boys when i was her age :eek: .....well am glad the father is out and safe........

 

i think parents have every right to decipline their kids ...even if it includes wooping their *** ......i got dacas slapped zillion of times while i was here in usa and i dont remember dialing 911 and the thought of complaining never entering my mind.....i thought about apologising to my parent....paremts just want us to be perfect children and that is it.......they want us to have good reputation and good diin ..if it takes beating to get that to our heads they will do it even thought it hurts them to beat us more than it hurts us :rolleyes: ..i wish y'll should see what a mom or a dad goes through for their child ..i see that all time with my sisters and their kids....man they get up in the middle of the night to feed a child....and have u seen the look on a mother face when her child falls down..or when a kid has nightmares,they get up even thought they dont want to get up and they read quran on them and hold them until they sleep. they(parents) went through alot more than i said to get us where we are today and we thank them by calling them harrasers :confused: fanaka cowdi billah..

walaahi it is quite sad

Macaanto,you took the words out of my mouth.....

[Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar]

Salaan...

 

Meel inta eh tarbiyadii iyo edbintii aaba waxaa laga dhigay abiyuus. :eek: Cajiib iyo nus.

 

Wuuba u naxariistay aabaheed, feer iyo faralaab haduu ku bilaabi lahaa waxaan maba dhici laheen.

 

If some people are defining and comparing "abuse" with edbin, then I am sure almost 90% of us had been "abused" in one way or other, including the "abuse" by macaliimintii Quraanka nasoo baray.

 

We came wadamada Galbeedka, all of sudden our tongue got a catch phrase: abuse, abuse, abuse, abuse. Dalkeena waa daganeen iyo Carabtana waa dagi jirnay, waligeenana "abuse" wax la dhaho ma aanan maqal, hadii hada soo baxday wax cusub dheh.

 

Hadii dharbaaxo iyo babis laguugu soo canaantay ay noqotay "abuse," cajiib ahaa hee walaahi.

 

Ilaahey haka samad bixiyo aabahaas maskiinka eh, gabadhiisna Ilaahey ha usoo hanuuniyo wax kale aan dhahno malahee.

 

Some of you cannot even distinguish between what exactly 'abuse' is and the parents right to disciple his/her offspring. Ileen sometimes rubbish Western ideas waala iska qaataa iyadoo la su'aalin. We don't even have the equivalent Soomaali word of 'abuse' let alone to practice it.

 

And whatever happened to Caasi Waalidiin..

_________________

 

Macsalaama.

[SomeAlien]

^^^^please dont blame the west. its a real pet peeve of mine, its like were giving waaay too much credit to them. more than they deserve even. what somalis are so weak now they cant make up their minds? to me, this story looks like a case of teen rebellion that somehow found a way to abuse the american justice system (justice? ha) in their favor, which is unfortunate because people (somalis) wont take it seriously when a kid is accually put in a dangerous situation by their parents. it really boggles my mind how we can say that we are above certain societal problems, when within the past ten years somalia, and somalis have been victims of WAR, which included pillaging, rape, murdering of children ... i mean, it happened not too long ago in history, shouldnt that be an indicator of how imperfect we are, as humans? maybe its cause this particualr story is rubbing you guys the wrong way, but lets not forget behind this ridiculous story lies a real issue.

[LuCkY]

^^^^^TotaLLy agree with ya!!!

[Rising Phoenix]

Originally by somealien:

please dont blame the west. its a real pet peeve of mine, its like were giving waaay too much credit to them. more than they deserve even. what somalis are so weak now they cant make up their minds? to me, this story looks like a case of teen rebellion that somehow found a way to abuse the american justice system (justice? ha) in their favor, which is unfortunate because people (somalis) wont take it seriously when a kid is accually put in a dangerous situation by their parents. it really boggles my mind how we can say that we are above certain societal problems, when within the past ten years somalia, and somalis have been victims of WAR, which included pillaging, rape, murdering of children ... i mean, it happened not too long ago in history, shouldnt that be an indicator of how imperfect we are, as humans? maybe its cause this particualr story is rubbing you guys the wrong way, but lets not forget behind this ridiculous story lies a real issue.

I could not have said this any better, you took the words right out of my mouth, sis. Like I said before, each Somalian makes up his/her mind about what they want to do. We are all responsible for our own actions. You cannot say "The West made me do it!" can you? This is plain ridiculious. As a race, Somalians should definately WAKE UP and realise that it's not the West that makes certain things happen, it is our own characters!

 

Originally by Mizz-Unique:

the girl used to wear hijaab and when she gets to school she would change ..she and the white people she lived with lied about her keeping her religion while a friend of hers cought her in jeans and pink shirt after she left her family..obviously he was mesmarized with the american culture and she the word harrasment is new to her no wonder she took the drastic measure...

I dont understand why you are so surprised about this. This happens a lot more than some of you think. Quite a few young girls (I am not saying all, but quite a few) simply do not understand WHY Muslims dress the way we do, and decide to dress differently (such as short skirts, etc). Have we forgotten what it feels like to be a teenager? Being part of the crowd is everything to a teen and I suppose that this is what this girl was doing. However, this does not excuse her change of dress, but I'm not sure the blame lies entirely with this girl. I have found that Somali parents never talk TO their children, and never explain why some things happen. Several girls I know PERSONALLY do the same thing: wear a headscarf in front of parents and OFF it comes when the parents are out of sight. Personally I believe this is because parents never tell their children the reason, never show them the Quran and explain to the WHY's and HOW's of our religion. Somali parents only start talking when something goes wrong, and then they come down so hard on the child, he/she often does not want to ask for explanations.

 

And until we actually decide to take responsibility for our own actions and stop blaming the West for every other thing, we will sadly continue to see such cases.

[Reality Check]

Oh my god...my jaws dropped when I read some of your comments..

 

As of this point, I am EMBARRASED to be Somali!!!

 

I am so speechless....I can't even type the things that I wanted to say..but let me condense it for you all...I think 90% of you here (excluding MaLikaH, Harmonyangel and Somealien) are as backwards as your parents.

 

Mz Unique, hon, your mother can't kill because it is haram to murder someone much less your children. she is going straight to hell!! dont believe other wise.

 

MMA, you are mislead if you think macalinka duugsiga can abuse you..it is crime, if not haram (because you can not beat people and leave a bruise like MaL stated)

 

Let me leave a final note: I really feel sorry for the girl to be going through this without support from her community (since they have a friggin retard for a community leader, can't say much about the people). THIS IS A 12 YEAR OLD GIRL....you guys don't seem to comprehend how young of an age that is...no child wants to be put in a foster care..no matter how much you want to believe so.

 

I say get over yourselves and the frigging dhaqaan, and start raising your kids properly, the right way, without a belt or a friggin stick.

 

 

And if the U.S. culture and their laws are so bad.....WHY ARE YOU HERE????

 

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[Nin-Yaaban]

Originally posted by Opinionated:

 

I am so speechless....I can't even type the things that I wanted to say..but let me condense it for you all...I think 90% of you here (excluding MaLikaH, Harmonyangel and Somealien) are as backwards as your parents.

 

 

What can i say Opp, we are all backward Soomalis, who can only beat up their children. I think we need to get on with the Amerikaan culture, and stop living like REER-BAADIYIIN. I like that. We also need to approve of sex before marriage, and our daughters can have all the b/friends they want in the world. They are also allowed to wear that thing they see on TV, because its so hip to do and its part of the new culture. What else am i missing? I am very sure there are more i haven't said. Oh, and parents who beat up their children, they all deserve to be in JAIL.

[-Serenity-]

I dont blv the girl is lying entirely and sure as hell, she got it bad from the father but there are far better solutions to such a problem than foster care.