SOMALIS FEAR CHILDREN WILL FALSELY CLAIM ABUSE

[silent-sistah]

^^^ please separate religion and dagaan, alot of times they go hand in hand...but there alot of traditional somali ways, that our religion condemns...this does included the battering of young children

 

walaahi, you dagaan freaks are sick to the bone,

 

a clear fact that the somali dhagaan beatings is not working is that fact that so many somali children are turning to the kufaars for help, im sure they cant all be retarded, some of them must be genuine and have retarded parents.

 

if they aint running to the kufaar, they turn to violence, sex and drugs.

 

nin yaaban, you like to twists peoples words and make daft sarcastic remarks... i wouldnt wish a bad parent on you,,,,,but i wish Allah gives you an insight, so you could be a little more empathetic- (incase you little brain confuses sympathy and empathy...sympathy = feeling sorry for some one. empathy = being able to put your self in a persons shoes to understand the suffering that they are going through)

sympathy is very easy for people to do, empathy is a lot harder.and many somali's lack it.

 

when hitting a child for discipline,,,i sugest that somali's first tell the child that what they are doing is wrong, and if they do it again they will get smacked. if the child repeats the bad act, then they should get a smack, when getting the discplinary smack, the child should never be hit on the face,head, or chest.....infact the only areas that a parent is permited to hit are the hands (arms), feet(legs) and bottom, the parent should not over power and make the child feel helpless and weak, they should not use full force, and should not leave any blood, bruises or marks.

 

im not against disciplin...but it must bdone right.

 

when a somali parents hits a child, (from many sources including mine) they hit everywhere and anywhere, they dont explain what the child did wrong-they just grap you and beat the shiit out of you.

 

they are barberic and out-dated....

 

i think that we have to move forward.....

 

4get the calling those of us that dont agree with the somali dagaan, gaalo lovers.... we love our religion...and Islam does not permit the beatings that somali parents dish out!

[Thinkerman]

I think we shouldnt be jumping @ each others replies like this its quite embarrasing gents and ladies.

 

The issue is quite simple and i doubt that in reality we would disagree to any significant point. Fact is when u grow up as a child you dont know what is right from wrong and what is acceptible behaviour and what isnt. So to prevent ill disipline and bad mannors from taking hold most parents, along with correcting their children behaviour verbal, usual reinfornce this with some physical punishment.

 

Now i dont think there is much in this debate and am suppirsed that it has goten this far. It is general knowledge, indeed universally accpeted that when a child misbehaves the get phyiscal disiplining of some sort or the other. I would fnd it quite suppirisng if any nomad Gent or ladet would disagree.

[silent-sistah]

shijui....im with you on the discipline part....

 

but whats eating me up...is how somany here, without knowing the full story (they were not witness) they are soo wuick to say that the girl is in the wrong, the father is right...and he had every right to beat her,,,

 

i dont see how that can be said,

 

maybe the girl is telling the truth ,

maybe he put a knife to her throat and she ran to the neighbours,,,

maybe the somali community wanna give her a bad name, becuase like many here they support the father,,,

 

i dont know walaalo....but it pisses me off, that people could be so judgemental and small minded, and how they like to hide behind dagaan and what they went through in somalia.

 

this isnt somali, back there u had your gradmother house to run to,,,here you dont have no1 but the gaalo.

[Bambina]

I dont know who's tellin the truth maybe the girl or maybe the father,but one thing is for sure only Allah knows the truth,so lets all agree wit dis first.

Second of all I believe dat claims of false abuses happen in our community but sumtimes how can u tell wat is false and wat is true?And third,abuses have alwayz existed in the world and I believe we somalis as humans r not immuned against dat.

 

Its is true dat when we come to the west ,our values change it might be in a slight or drastic way but again it depends on ppl's personnalities.Sum girls might change the hijaab or the long dress for sexy tops and skirts and sum dont,lets not forget guyz too wit their loose pants.But let's not blame the west for every problem dat the somali community has.For example a lot of somalis alwayz drank alcohool and believe me sum of dem didnt start learnin dat when comin in the west.

My point is the cultural gap between the west and our country might cause sum frictions but das not an excuse to claim false abuses or either ignore dat abuses were alwayz there since the creation of mankind.C'mon lets be realistic,I'm sure sum somali children were raped by their relatives or by their Quran teachers (it happens guyz).Thank God I was neva raped but I do remember dat when I was young my Quran teacher was alwayz starin at me in a weird way ,though I was young I felt unconfortable but neva thought dat pedophiles existed.Im not even sure if he was one , only Allah knows.

 

The girl mentionned in dis forum was wat ?12 or 13 years old? she's still young and needs to be educated because adolescence is the time when u must really pay attention to dem.If the parents dont want her to act like a whity they have to explain to her calmly why r the reasons and wat could be the consequences.Believe me explanations r better than slappin a child sumtimes.But again Im not judgin either the gal or the dad since I dont know wat really happened.

But let's all agree dat we somalis sumtimes ignore abuses in our own homes but when it comes to blame the west dats becomes an easy way to handle things.If ur sumtimes helpless and know dat ur community can turn their back on u ?wat ru supposed to do ?

[Gabbal]

Silent-Sistah

 

Abaayo macaanto I don't want to cause you any hurt or anything, but your case was unique. It is not the average discipline that one goes through in Somali society.

 

If your life was as the way you allege, then I would be the last person in the world to deny that you were abused.

 

But sis the majority of Somali parents discipline their children, not abuse them.

 

And another thing that puzzles me is why you and some other nomads are thrashing our daqan?

 

Do you think that there is no abuse in western culture? In American culture? Do you think the U.S or the Western world is a happy-go-lucky lalaland for children?

 

The U.S and Somalia (because it did not have a recognized government to ratify it) are the only nations in the world to not have ratified the Convention on the rights of the Child, and the U.S is the only nation in the world to sentence minors to state prisons and penitentiaries and the only nation in the world to sentence minors (therefore children) to death.

 

From Amnesty International

 

The U.N. Convention on the Rights of the Child is the most widely accepted human rights treaty in the world. Yet of of all the United Nations member states, only the U.S. and the collapsed state of Somalia have not ratified it.

The Somali daqan does not propagate hitting children into senselessness, despite what you've been told. If you hate the Somali daqan, because of other reasons, then they are your own, but please don't say because it calls for abuse.

[Nin-Yaaban]

Just recently in my city, a father was sentenced to 5yrs in prison, for molesting his two sons.

[wind talker]

2 sides to every story. The girl is an actor and she put on an act for the American legal system. Its nothing new.

 

Besides man, what's wit the "I'm embarrassed of being a Somali" comment? If you are, quit reading posts written by Somalis. Simple as that!

 

Goodness, its funny how far some people will go to get attention and some compassion, evidently things their missing from their real life.

 

VIRTUAL REALITY isn't going to get you a better lifestyle. Live in reality, quit preaching on the Net!

[silent-sistah]

^^^^ wild stalker ,,,,,wether i do it for attention or not...only Allah knows....its not your place to judge me..since you dont even know the first thing about me...so i suggest you quite with you bull.

 

you guys, can either defend, the people that abuse you, you can hide it under the carpet, because you claim it to be a shamefull thing to talk about,,,,but there are some people that want and need to talk about it, im not ashamed to say tell my experiences, if it will help another think twice before they commit abuse.

 

it does leave scares.

 

nin yaaban ,,,,,walaahi that is sad...that a somali father would sexually assult his own sons..Subahan Allah....Allah ha u gargaaro,,,

 

 

thats what im talking about...if them little boys,. were aware of there rights, and if there is a somali place they could go for help....Allah knows how different things could have been.

[Zakariye]

s/alaykum

War baryahan waan maqanaa meesha waxaad moodaa in ay soo wada baxeyn dadkii aflagaadeyn jiray , waalidkooda iyo walaalahooda, in saying so, i do blv at some point what the lady is claiming to be true, also i do blv that the lady also was not getting attention from her family when she was young, so in fairness to both, i wish that young lady "when you get married "inshallah in the future that you do not see every relative to be a child abuser otherwise your house will become Hell House, intaas ayaan kuugu waanin, adigana waxaan kuu rajeyn in aad cafis iyo masaamix siisid hadii waxii kuugu dhacey ay run yihiin, hadey aysan run aheyna walaal waqtigii baad iga qasaarisay.

 

c/salaam

[SomeAlien]

no parent should be scared of disciplining their kids in fear of being called on the authorities, but than again no child should lay victim of an abusive parent (whether physical or sexual) because nobody believes them. of course it doesnt touch only somalis, but since we are somali (a dying race if we dont do something), we need a somali solution, in which troubled kids can get the help they need without running to the american/ western system. there are a number of studies that show the psychological affects that can have on a kid, (what hope or trust can you have in humanity if the people who were supposed to love and care for you treat you like a dog)... again, this isnt the norm, of course, but it happens more than wed like to think if we consider all the shame and guilt involved. studies show that women whove been molested and/or raped as children begin active sexual lives at a much earlier age (and if you think about it, youll see why), and are much more promiscuous than women who werent, kids who are physically abused suffer from a number of mental ailments such as depression, anti-socialness etc. they are more susceptible to participating in criminal behaviour ... and the list goes on <these are all stuff that touch us too, look around in your community. again, nobody is saying that violence and abuse is a part of our culture, it isnt, its a problem that touches us as people.

[SomeAlien]

Originally posted by Nin-Yaaban:

Just recently in my city, a father was sentenced to 5yrs in prison, for molesting his two sons.

he should get life. what? 5 years and hell never do it again? filthy *******s!

[Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar]

Salaan...

 

Originally posted by Opinionated:

I think 90% of you here...are as backwards as your parents.

Nacaay hadaa rabtid anaga, na dharbaax hadaa rabtid, "abuse" us hadaa rabtid, but our waalid did NOT deserve to be called backwards, and baliis waalidkeena ha u gafin.

________________

 

Macsalaama.

[imperial-lady]

MMA....EHEHEHHEHE PREACH TELL HER BRO

 

LOL.....I CANT BELIEVE THIS TOPIC IS STILL A MATTER OF DEBATE...... :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: TO ALL Y'LL.......ESP(*************)

[Nin-Yaaban]

Originally posted by silent-sistah:

nin yaaban ,,,,,walaahi that is sad...that a somali father would sexually assult his own sons..Subahan Allah....Allah ha u gargaaro,,,

It wasn't a Soomali father, but an Amerikaan father. That was just to show, how these Amerikaans treat their children, and you people somehow think Soomali parents are evil compared to these GAALO.

 

In the 30yrs i have lived, i have never heard of any Soomali father/mother that has done anything like that.

[Nin-Yaaban]

Brother Zakariye. Its good to see you again. Sxb, waa sidaa tiri, meeshan wixii xumaa ayaa soo wada baxay.