No boifriend somali debate...

[MAXIMUS POWERS]

I wouldn't go as far as calling it Neutrality syndrome Adam. What you are describing sounds like all the hallmarks of self-hating Somali syndrome. To say this process is Neutral implies that the people in question have made some evaluation of dating a non-Somali and have decided that its better than dating a Somali person. In actually fact, most Somalis who date non Somali haven't even considered the thought of dating one of their own. They want to date others because they associate Somalis with failure. For them dating non-Somali equates to moving up the ladder.

 

I am sure when you use to date Dutch girls you made no evaluation of the benefits of dating a Somali chick, but since you had all the traits of a self-hating Somali, dating Dutch girls was an 'escapism' for you.

[Chimera]

Marx your lack of rationale thinking will be the reason why instead of becoming a professional spokesperson for the Somali community in the future, your words will simply be ignored, see things from different sides!

 

My opinion of Somali girls has always been positive, i would smile at them, have conversations with them, but for some reason at highschool i never saw them as dating material(the fact that they all have 17 brothers that you grew up with is also a repellent), one time i saw a Somali girl fighting a Serbian girl whose brother also joined in the fight and then suddenly a whole group of Somali guys jumped on him

 

Neither I or my friends knew the Somali girl or why she was in a fight with those Serbians but a sense of loyalty pursuaded us to manhandle the guy who was kicking that sister

 

I wasn't a Self-Hating Somali and neither were my friends, it had more to do with the fact that i was less involved with my Somali side in my day to day life, why escape something that is already on the periphery of your life?.

[Faarax-Brawn]

My opinion of Somali girls has always been positive, i would smile at them, have conversations with them, but for some reason at highschool i never saw them as dating material(the fact that they all have 17 brothers that you grew up with is also a repellent), one time i saw a Somali girl fighting a Serbian girl whose brother also joined in the fight and then suddenly a whole group of Somali guys jumped on him

"Dating Material", i like that. You're a good man. You date the non somali girls. Seems to me you are protecting your sisters. Very Somali if you ask me.

 

*What was the topic about*?

[Ibtisam]

Originally posted by Adam-Zayla:

Neutrality syndrome

is a dangerous mindset i have noticed amongst some Somali teenagers, myself included in the past. Let's say a Somali guy encounters a beautiful Somali girl who is drooled over by his Ajanabi friends but he himself sees her as nothing other than his

Somali sister

and tells his friends to be quite, then this brother has the

Neutrality syndrome

. If a Somali girl sees her ajanabi friends giggling and checking out a good looking Somali guy and she herself can't figure out why they are so into him, then she my friend is also suffering from the

neutrality syndrome

 

We all naturally have this syndrome with regards to our blood siblings, but when a person lives and grows up in a foreign country he/she absorbs the host country's culture, and usually the original culture is pushed to the periphery of that person's life and they in extreme cases become A-sexual to members of their own ethnic community, while those who are really into their culture are more inclined to feel attracted to a compatriot

 

I've seen this amongst Indians, Pakistanis, Moroccans, Turks, Poles and of course Somalis.

I could not agree more with this, often you would think, ooh waa Somali eh, "You mean the Somali brother" end of convo. Till you get to university and all your none Somali friends suggest you meet their other Somali, it took me a while to realise they were trying to hook us up.

 

Kids have no business dating, I agree with the mothers on this. The Somali lady is confused about Somali traditions, it is NOT the same as the current culture.

 

To the boys; I think it is disgusting that the Somali male these days find it acceptable to date 4/5 young Somali sisters with no serious intentions about them. I remember when I went to school, the Somali brothers never use to speak to me but duusha aye iga iilalin jirrin. Once in year 8 I got kicked by this huge Jamaican boy while playing football, and then he pushed me to the floor and swore at me, some how few of Somali guys heard about it, and I don’t know what they did to the dude, but for the next three years if I dropped a pencil/ note book he will jump up and pick it up for me. Strange thing, they never ever spoke to me, but I always knew they were around keeping an eye out, I use to boast that I am going to get my brothers on you. Lovely extended family. I also remember that they roughed up a Bengali boy in my class who brought me a rose on Valentines Day. I was too embarrassed to ask them about it. They were all with white/mixed race girls, I'm sure they upgraded to a Somali one once they wanted to get married.

[MAXIMUS POWERS]

Originally posted by *Ibtisam:

Once in year 8 I got kicked by this huge Jamaican boy while playing football, and then he pushed me to the floor and swore at me....

You were an early developer IBZ! Kicking football with the boys in only year 8.

[Ibtisam]

^^^ You mean late I played football and run long distance right up till I was year 11, only then did I leave my perfect environment and everyone kept saying maa nine baad tahey, acting super shock.

 

By the way focus yeah, the rest of the message is for the likes of you.

[Ms DD]

lool @focus yeah!

 

Somali culture should remain as it is when it comes to this subject. Having said this, it never stopped youths having girlfriend or boyfriend. But it wasnt in our parent's face either. We had xishood.

[Lt-Qalbi-Adeyg]

As for somali's back in the day, they were really no different than somali youth of today especially in hamar, you would see men and women dressed in western clothing, afro's and pants, socialising. Just look at some old somali pictures. Somali's were actually more secular back in the day than today.

 

And in the rural area's, they had what was called masafo, which is basically marriage without the consent of parents, this was mainly done by the poor who couldn't afford to pay large maher. I would not be suprised if many you are a product of masafo marriage.

 

The point is, you cannot regulate people's behavior especially teenagers, no matter what. Live and let live, i say.

[Aaliyyah]

^Qalbi adeyg when that teenager is your child am sure you wouldn't say live and let live? that person is your child and you want the best for them. You don't have to necessary regulate the person's life you need to trust them to some extent. But, raising them the right is all you can do. Cuz, honestly its all about how you raise them that reflect on the choices they make later on.

 

 

I don’t know what they did to the dude, but for the next three years if I dropped a pencil/ note book he will jump up and pick it up for me

ibti isn't that so sweet and lovely. I attended middle school and high school that had not tht many somalis. So I missed out on that part where somalis look out for you But, yeah you should hear abt the high schools in the west end where its populated with somalis, they do stick out for one another.

 

salaam

[RedSea]

I never thought about dating when I was growing up. Just my dugsi, and my indian after noon movie. That is it.

[Chimera]

Originally posted by *Ibtisam:

quote:Originally posted by Adam-Zayla:

[qb]

Neutrality syndrome is a dangerous mindset i have noticed amongst some Somali teenagers, myself included in the past. Let's say a Somali guy encounters a beautiful Somali girl who is drooled over by his Ajanabi friends but he himself sees her as nothing other than his

Somali sister

and tells his friends to be quite, then this brother has the

Neutrality syndrome

. If a Somali girl sees her ajanabi friends giggling and checking out a good looking Somali guy and she herself can't figure out why they are so into him, then she my friend is also suffering from the

neutrality syndrome

 

We all naturally have this syndrome with regards to our blood siblings, but when a person lives and grows up in a foreign country he/she absorbs the host country's culture, and usually the original culture is pushed to the periphery of that person's life and they in extreme cases become A-sexual to members of their own ethnic community, while those who are really into their culture are more inclined to feel attracted to a compatriot

 

I've seen this amongst Indians, Pakistanis, Moroccans, Turks, Poles and of course Somalis.

I could not agree more with this, often you would think, ooh waa Somali eh, "You mean the Somali brother" end of convo. Till you get to university and all your none Somali friends suggest you meet their other Somali, it took me a while to realise they were trying to hook us up.

 

Kids have no business dating, I agree with the mothers on this. The Somali lady is confused about Somali traditions, it is NOT the same as the current culture.

Ibti aren't you married to an Indian brother? You poke a big hole into MARX's theory; that Somali brothers or sisters that marry outside their race are self-hating individuals, cause we all know you are not.