Aaliyyah Posted June 22, 2009 interesting discussion.... The lady wearing the orange dress was saying that she wanted her daughter at home all the time? But you know allowing your high school girl to hang out with her friends who happen to be girls is not a problem as long as you give her a curfew. Life is about trust, and you have to learn to trust your kids. As for her point against the boyfriend, I agree with her am on the same boat as her. Whats the definition of boyfriend, on the western definition it basically means you have a husband without the vows aint it? And am glad she did not take it lightly…as for the other lady who was saying how parents went out and stuff at night and did “dhaanto” that’s also haraam and its like clubbing. Even though, she forgets that Somali culture was a little bit more conserved and most of Somali girls were cultured and there was some sort of boundaries that they did not cross. Still am not justifying it dhaanto or whatever you call it and mixing men and women and dancing in the middle of the night is still haraam. If hypothetically speaking I make a mistake would I want my kids to make the same mistake?ofcourse not. So both ladies were at the two different extremes ….one has to be in the middle and understand what religion allows and what it doesn’t. A young girl needs to have fun and hang out with her friends. And, if you teach your child the deen you should be able to trust them for three hours or so to hang out with their friends at somewhere you know..they should be able to tell you that today in the evening me and my girls we are hanging out there so and so’s place. Just my 2 cents.. The rest of you solers can share ur thoughts… salaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
STOIC Posted June 22, 2009 Love the Somali mom...No bull shitting...the high priest of the church of the painful truth...She made my day..."a girl is like a cooked meat".....Loool Waa Ceeb gabaar boyfriend leeh..Yeah I said it..there goes my hypocrisy of the day! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chimera Posted June 22, 2009 I have noticed in the west there are many unmarried Somali couples living together, finishing their studies etc before they marry. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms DD Posted June 22, 2009 Adam I havent come accros that. Where does this happen? Maybe in London, it is all undercover? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
STOIC Posted June 22, 2009 Hmm…I haven’t seen that type of relationship either (as it is Haram in Islam) but I would not be surprised to see them being boyfriend and girlfriend, which it is still haraam, for awhile until they become financially secure or one is done with his/her studies. When I met my girlfriend (soon-to-be-wifey)sh e was doing her undergraduate studies at the time. There is no way we could both afford to get married at the time with my meager stipend.We just prioritized what is important without stepping out of the cultural norm by doing our relationship undercover until we knew for sure we were secure both financially.I personally think the boyfriend/girlfriend think should only be pursued if you think something is coming out of it….Somali waxeey tirrii cirriit aan arkayoow illig kamasoo socdoo….if you know nothing is coming out of it abandon the ship early!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chimera Posted June 22, 2009 Ms DD who? what? where? ....maybe in London, maybe not all i have to say is; i prefer this undercover drama to the Natalie's and the Ukowebe's nonsense i personally have seen a couple getting caught by the family who then fell in love with the mystery Farah and now the couple are formally engaged. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted June 22, 2009 I guess if one is pursuing a relationship with the intention of marriage...you can get to know the person while still maintaining your deen and staying away from things allah swt prohibited. mostly in this video they are talking abt kids in highschool.Its that time when kids are most prone to western influence and deviating frm the right path when they are all looking to just fit in. perhaps one good solution would be taking your kids to islamic schools or private schools. Honestly, public schools is what promotes such things as bfs and filth. I was just walking the other day besides the local high school and honestly you wonder if theres some law that goes "hey you kids you cant walk alone make sure you walk with ur bf/gf to look cool LOL" salaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NGONGE Posted June 22, 2009 ^^ Western influence my beard. More like human urges, dear. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chimera Posted June 22, 2009 I used to date alot of Dutch girls when i was younger, we did the usual corny stuff like Cinema/bowling and acting cool in the mall, but at the end of the day their fathers would always pick us up lol. Then i entered an age category where everything became more serious and the temptations were brutal but luckily i began hanging out with my Somali brothers and sisters who swayed me from the dark side I think sticking with your own is the way to go. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted June 22, 2009 Ngonge walaal am sure the same kid in high school in saudi arabia wouldn't walk around clinging to his bf/gf and think its normal? ..... Never underestimate one's environment.... American/canadian or western public schools promote certain life style. And, that life style comes against our beliefs/deen. Not to mention the media makes things even worse. I have 8 yrs old sister and when I watch her shows with her, you would think they are cartoons and you know so innocent. But, stay put for half an hour and here pops out the theme of dating? do you see where am getting at? am talking abt the community that we live with and the life style they are teaching our kids? But, given that we have no choice. As somali we fled our country and most arab countries are not even immigrant friendly. We have to do the most with what we have....and deal with it the best possible. A related video... The boifriend and girlfriends issue-- Baba Ali.. salaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NGONGE Posted June 22, 2009 ^^ It's not the holding hands that is the problem though. It's not the 'life style' being promoted. It's not the bf/gf thing. It's the SEX, dear. All young kids think about it and attempt to try it (from Mexico to Mecca). Don't blame the west, blame the urges and those responsible for teaching kids to control such urges. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted June 22, 2009 Ng in the west kids are encouraged where in the muslim countries kids are discouraged from such things...do you see the difference...we are not talking abt hormones or whatever..but just that kids are raised differently and how environment plays an important role in how a child turns out. and what good did it do anyways? in the west kids have abortions in huge numbers?.... alhmadulilah the deen tells you either get married or just stay away from such things. if a 15 yrs old kid wants to have a bf/gf.There's no room in our deen for such lifestyle. so they would have to get married and live with their decision. Even though personally I think a 15 yrs old kid who was raised in the west wouldn't be ready both mentally and physically to have a family. Not to mention financially... salaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nuune Posted June 22, 2009 in the west kids have abortions in huge numbers?.... lol Nice debate! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Goodir Posted June 22, 2009 ^What is so funny about teen abortion? This a real problem confronting many religious parents. Allow amuuraha sahal. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
