The Phenomena of the Somali Euro-trash

[Jamster]

I just got this through my email anonymously. It is hilarious; about some event that happened in London the weekend just passed.

 

 

The Phenomena of the Somali Euro-trash

 

Saturday the 14th was the day I became well acquainted with this new phenomena—Somali Euro-Trash!. The event was the launch of this group’s Bible (actually this was the second issue of Sheeko Magazine so I think “the launch” was PR stunt and good on them I say). As you approached the venue; the high priest dressed with his trademark white shirt and tiny tie was welcoming the guests as he stood on a vapid red carpet. With him were characters only to be imagined but not to be seen in public; especially on an ethnic gathering event. There was a man of tall height dressed with hideous yellow top with skinny jeans (the skinny jeans being the groups trademark) sporting what looked like cheap bowler hat; what a combination. I heard some girls hissing with disgust how gay (for the benefit of older chaps; this of course does not mean happy but indeed it’s modern meaning is what they meant judging from the distorted gestures they were making) cried one adding quickly adding “ala anigaa iska ba’ay”. I politely smiled as I walked passed the ladies who themselves felt out of the place. As we came in (I was with a cousin and a friend of moi) the high priest and I exchanged pleasantries and were quickly ushered in before photos of us were taken. This made the photographer a bit distressed and called after us. I made sure that we walked fast to pass such a golden opportunity to be published in the Magazine so my mother will die with a pleaure—such a feat her son has made into the “Bible” ; a possibility I care not to toy with. Inside, the venue was prosaic. It was decorated with terrible mild colours; it oozed with platitudinous ad absurdum considering the colourfulness of Mag not to mention the cheap colourful red carpet welcoming most guests who gleefully posed for the camera as though their were at the Oscars.

 

Inside, it was the mecca of Somali Euro-trash (SET). Young men trying their hardest to out do one another— competing who can fit into more skinner jeans. Ladies of course were not fairing better at all. Most seemed as though they shop in the same place; dressed painfully similar: skinny jeans with fading colours and glittering tops that seemed as though it was gotten from some down trodden charity shop. My cousin made rather harsh remark not to be repeated of course in print; he then asked me to offer a fashion advice to these poor souls. I kept my silence recovering from the shock. He then uttered something in Latin; I think it was Aegrescit Madendo!. I gave him strange look as though he said something out of this world. We then decided to hit the bar. They ordered coke and orange where I settled for Lemonade with of Mint. The atmosphere was thick with anticipation. People looking around hoping they will be dazzled with something profound—in these trivial social gathering what constitutes profound is interesting to note: I too was hoping to be surprised; surprised I was indeed.

 

I saw couple people I was related to somewhat whom I haven’t seen for donkey of years; they too embraced this SET phenomena though they were not themselves from mainland Europe—“freshies” trying too hard was a comment a darling mate made in regards to this sub-group.

 

 

Music

 

The music was blend of classic tunes and reggae with hint of Somali and Ethiopian. As usual though, the chaps were standing still why ladies were rocking the dance floor. The boys were ever warming the walls as they stood their backs against it. I suggest to my chum to dance. As he made his first step towards a dashing lass rocking away the boat as shaun paul ordered everyone in the dance floor "rock the boat" to she turned away and he sheepishly returned to his spot. What is up with this? These boys fail to understand that females likes to be chased; it is a evolution playing its course in Somali way. Chaps don’t be afraid to be persistent (be aware though you might cross the line of being endearingly persistent to Mr idiotic chaser); ladies love that. But one must always be judicious in courting. A lot of guys lose their cool in the dance floor---- I know it is hard to remain focused on your game when you have in front of you a booty shaking Somali princess almost asking for you take her hand; though I am sure her face is twisted with frowning as you go closer to her. My advice is take ……………

 

 

Verdict

 

“The place was hot; couldn’t they afford a A.C. How Ghetto: this is what a mate said about the temperature of the place. A thought I concur with. Anyone with modest clothing would have left in haste. Overcrowded and full of S.E.Ts; it was dull and was not worth of £15 quid we paid.

 

And in the last words of the great emperor: Acta est fabula, plaudite

[Intuition]

LoL

[Crystal_Clear]

Laa'laabo..iyo fish!

[Valenteenah.]

Sounds overly harsh and biased to me.

[Jamster]

Were you there Val? how was the place?

[Paragon]

Yes, their taste is not conservative, and yes they are doing a collabo with Ethiopians/Eritreans but still, its what they have produced with their own efforts, right? Its not nice to judge too soon . Give'em few more years and I am sure they'll outgrow some of the things you despise about them. Grow a bigger heart, will you .

 

PS: I must admit, their magazine's design is good. The content? Not going to comment on it. Will I buy it? Nope.

[Caano Geel]

the 'chap' is experiencing the anti climax of visiting any club night after the age of about 25.. .. as such most of the people were prolly a good deal younger and certainly firmer (hence the skinny jeans), what's new? ...

 

the 'chap' is being a 'tad mean since he prolly cant fit into a pair of skinnies no- more

[xiinfaniin]

Dawaco socodkeediina ka tagtay kii libaaxana ma gaarin...

[Faarax-Brawn]

I think you are extremely negative & overyly judgmental.

 

To be fair,you should point out some of the high moments of the night at least.

 

I have on my office wall, apicture of one of the models,who i thought was stunningly beautiful. Thank you Sheeko

[Caano Geel]

^heheh, xiin do you pocket an appropriate somali phrase book or something, if so please share it

[Zafir]

^ Xaajigu waa qaamuus socda dee.

[xiinfaniin]

Zafir, Caano yuuna ku sirin. In the words of JLee, inommo caadhi maoho inanku! Caano Geel that is.

[-Lily-]

What was the 'chap' doing there?

 

As for Somali Euro Trash, it takes one to know one. I agree with Cano Geel, it sounds like the 'chap' was too old for the event, (and most likely didn't get any of the skinny-jeans & glittery tops clad Halimos to look his way).

 

I was under the impression it was going to be a rave party.

 

Young men trying their hardest to out do one another— competing who can fit into more skinner jeans

LoL.

[Caano Geel]

lol@Z & lil

 

war xiino'w maxaa maanta igu soo kaa jeediyey?

[xiinfaniin]

^^I am a bit shorthanded in the politics section saaxiib. Both the old landers and tfgers are at it again.

 

come and help...