How to keep your marriage strong and avoid seperation

[Fanisha]

^^^ Which part of she does not want to discuss anything with you don't you get, Muqalidyahow? :rolleyes:

[RedSea]

Mr.Northerner and Dabshid as well as those of you who probably already have gone through marriage or currently involved in relationship,please feel free to fill us in what you think is the best way for couples to have good,long lasting relationship God willingly, with minimum uh and aahs offcourse.

 

thanks in advace,

[N.O.R.F]

Ridwaan,

 

Knowing your rights and responsibilities and not shunning them is a good start. One's mind should go from the 'dalinyaro' mode to that of a married man/woman. The late nights with the boys/girls and 'chillin' no longer takes up your time (playing football is an exception ). Your primary focus is your family and everything (literally) becomes associated with that. Your work (you gotta make ends meet), your relationship with your new family, your kids, etc.

 

It will be difficult for some to adjust and thats where the danger lies. The husband is to spend most of his time with his family and have an away time with his freinds (limited) but some people get that twisted and this can lead to problems. I have seen this happen on more than one occasion.

 

So to our 'guurdoon' SOLers, note that marriage is a process of compromise in terms of your usual routine/actions/attitude. The rewards heavily outweigh what you have compromised and you grow into the father/mother/husband/wife role (cant expect to know it all on the first day).

[Urban]

Is marriage during your studies (uni) a big no no?

[Som@li]

Masha Allah, Thanks Northerner, will keep that in mind in 2007

[PlayMaker]

Ten yrs for me alhamdulillahi..I think the most important thing is be honest and if you truely love your wife just let her know the way you feel about her.. Let go your egos and compromise for your family that should be your first priority anyway, use kind words towards each other...Sometimes if you feel things are boiling up just walk away and leave for few minutes (trust me it works all the time).

 

I think all that counselling talk is garbage just be yourself and say baby you mean everything to me and mean it..

 

I like Northener's version and i totally agree with you about the sports side of it..that should be our get away thing or stress relief as you may call it.

[Captain Xalane]

Ten years is a long period of time.Bachelorhood is another version of torture sxb,u might want to cut the ten years in to something like two years.

[Ibtisam]

loool. This thread made me laugh.

[Sacdiya]

Originally posted by Lieutenant Xalane:

quote:Originally posted by Sacdiya:

Xalane, I thought Khalaf was a female. Forgive me if Iam wrong.

Safiya,If Khalaf is female then i am either aging or my server needs to be updated or something.In either case,what do u advice?

 

Back to the topic,Naden sheikh waalan halagu daro,she will be fine.

Xalane- I guess you are server does not need to be updated, but you know how some names could be so confusing when it comes to categorizing it’s gender. I think you are kind of aging though cos my alias is Sacdiya not Safiya...

 

Khalaf- Iam sorry about that walaalkiis, I used to know a chick name Khalaf, you know how Somalida they give their kids a name that can female or male.

[N.O.R.F]

playmaker 10 years, mashallah and many more insha allah

 

Dabshid, 2007? that only next month saxib!

[Xalimopatra]

What about telling ruunta+communication ?

Too many times have I seen husbands who introduce their wife to wifey no. 2 unannounced or wife 3 and so forth.In alot of cases the wife finds out from someone else.In all honesty when a woman marries a man she aspires to make him happy and be all that she can be for him.What kinda cr@p is that when the man who has taken you from your fam&you've given yourself to secretly marries another woman without telling you?Most of the time it's 'cause he felt obliged to via Uncle Hebel or Aunt Heblayo?It must be the biggest slap+spit in the face I tell ya....

 

Weak,weak men those are I swear down....

 

All people need to do (like someone said earlier) is always go by sunnah.If whatever your doing feels wrong ,then dont do it always try to refer back to Nabi Mohamed{pbuh}'s life.

 

If you've lost your job then tell your spouse.If your dealing with financial difficulties then tell your spouse.If the doc has given you bad news then tell your spouse.If you are having any problems of any sort then just tell your spouse.If you hide stuff it aint gonna go away,in fact it will come back at the most emotionally heightened time and bite you in the dabo!

 

That's what your husband/wife is there for.Like someone said earlier they are there to aid your journey in this life and be there in times of goodness and bad.

 

Also alot of people just talk,talk and never wlak the walk when the time comes.Marriage is a big step lakiin dont make promises you cant keep.Not all women want a luxury lifestyle and most certainly dont want a hopeless/broke brother who talks of his 'supposed' wealth and bla bla.Think of the rewards you will both have in the afterlife if you aspire to be the most humble and beneficial muslim partner.

Meet in the middle,dont hide secrets,make the most of what you have and most importantly TREASURE one another!

 

*Exhales*....

I'm off to get a chai latte,Macsalaama folks.

[Wiilo]

All y'all out there who are married or want to be married please read this book, wrote by Dr. Ekram and M. Rida Beshir.

 

The name of the Book:

Blissful Marriage

A Practical Islamic Guide

 

"The Ingredients of a sucessful marriage are a combination of good qualities and attributes, mixed with certain positive skills, accompanied by a deep sense of responsibility and dedication toward the sucess of the marriage. Both spouses have to practice these qualities and insill them into their own habits and behaviors". (P.78)

 

 

Go figure:..............

[RedSea]

Another thing that can destroy marriage and to avoid is.

 

1. Age gap: no more or less than 5 years.

2. Cultural differences: one is from tuulo or miyi and the other grew up in the city. Misunderstandings will surface each time.

[Aaliyyah]

Urban, my best friend recently got engaged, few weeks back to be percise. Even though, we are both still in university. So, I think it is a matter of choice.

 

I for one don't think I can handle marriage while am still studying. While others can handle it. With out a question it will be a challenge, but as the prophet csw said it is better if one gets married young.

 

All the best.

 

wa salaamu alaikum

[Fabregas]

Originally posted by ibtisam:

loool. This thread made me laugh.

LOL, it was another one of those threads were Naden single handedly taking on the young mullahs of SOL!