How to keep your marriage strong and avoid seperation

[Naden]

^ Nonsense. Titillating details about showers are nothing but gossip and you know it. Referring to a chain of old gossipers does not excuse this violation of his home's privacy. This islam coverest the smallest detail is a parroted, brain-dead phrase to justify the bottom-half indulgence in affairs that have nothing do with the faith.

 

You're defending the indefencible and not giving a second's thought to the admonishes in the Quran. Instead of gossiping, refer to the Quran and see what's allowed and not in a marital/sexual relation. Give the man the deference and respect that the people of his home deserve and don't repeat rubbish that guides nothing. That's the only learning that is in order.

[Khalaf]

istagfurallah..yaa Rab ya Rab......Naden religion is advice walaalshiis.....marka let me give u advice....can u for one moment, just one moment think n consider your opinion could be wrong, and maybe fear Allah for that before making such claims.....in the light of the fact that what Red said is supported... has been related n agreed by the ulma of Islam. whats up :confused:

[RedSea]

Naden,before we can proceed,can I respectably bring to your attention to not refer the Prophet Peace be upon him as 'man',insert 'the Prophet' before you refer to him as a 'man'please.

 

The Quran and the Sunnah are two sides of the same coin,they are insepaprable,the Quran states things in fold,the Hadith explains it in details that we (average person) could understand and apply it to their daily affair.

 

 

thanks in advace.

[Captain Xalane]

Originally posted by Khalaf:

istagfurallah..yaa Rab ya Rab......Naden religion is advice walaalshiis.....marka let me give u advice....can u for one moment, just one moment think n consider your opinion could be wrong, and maybe fear Allah for that before making such claims.....in the light of the fact that what Red said is supported... has been related n agreed by the ulma of Islam. whats up :confused:

Khalaf,Marry her sxb.

[Sacdiya]

Xalane, I thought Khalaf was a female. Forgive me if Iam wrong.

[Khayr]

If people want advice on showering with a spouse, they can consult any sex advice column or better yet, ring Dr. Sue. Her gap-toothed smile of the absurd will surely solve all problems.

 

Is this the same prophet whom God admonished people not to linger and talk in his home because he is too shy to tell them himself despite the harm he feels (33:53)? Is this the same wife of the prophet believers were told to speak to from behind a curtain? Is this the same man whom God describes as possessing great morals/manners (68:4)? Why so many instructions to guard the sanctity of his home if tales of his relations with his wife will become fodder for everyone. He was sent to guide people morally not instruct them in the kama sutra. People had sex before and after the message.

 

You don’t know what his wife said or if she said anything at all. You’re obligated to respect the man and his home. No man or woman would have private details of their married life talked about but you and others see it fit for Mohammed (csw). It is pure rubbish what Bukhari and others put in their books about the sexual details of his life and everyone since then who speaks of it is violating his sanctity. Disgusting lot.

 

Can I ask you a question-how did Islamic Jurispendance (FIQH) develop if it weren't for the various sunnans of the rasul (salallahu cailyhe waslim)?

 

How would we know if it is permissable to take a shower with your spouse, if there was no hadith about it?

 

How would we know about Ghusl and impurities if it wasn't for hadith narrations of various sunnans (prophet's actions)?

 

I think that some muslims are secularizing the deen and making it puritanical. Intimacy and sexual relations can be a source of a Barakha/Divine grace-provided they are done in a HALAL MANNER.

[Pi]

If people want advice on showering with a spouse, they can consult any sex advice column or better yet, ring Dr. Sue. Her gap-toothed smile of the absurd will surely solve all problems.

Can you, if possible, post the text of the hadith about the shower. Do you have any other grounds other than appealing to your raw emotion for rejecting a hadith in which wife mentions that she had showers with her husband. Oh boy, what a erotically offensive this to say. The prophet's wife can never say this, eh? It just doesn't sound right to me? Flawless logic.

 

Is this the same prophet whom God admonished people not to linger and talk in his home because he is too shy to tell them himself despite the harm he feels (33:53)?

Yes. This is also the same prophet who conquered Mecca 630 AD (8 AH). But what has the verse you cited or conquering mecca have to do with the hadith in question? Nothing. The verse does not mention that it is unseemly that the prophet should have a shower with his own wife, or that it is impossible that his wife should mention it.

 

Is this the same wife of the prophet believers were told to speak to from behind a curtain? Is this the same man whom God describes as possessing great morals/manners (68:4)?

I don't see how either verse is germane to the hadith in question. I wonder if I should flip my mushaf open and throw out some random verses. On second thought, I'll resist the temptation. Maybe you are asking the rhetorical question that, if the prophet ordered his wives to speak behind a curtain out of a sense of decency and propreity (or protecting the sanctity of his home, as you put it), would he not also ask them not to disclose details such as having a shower? The answer: not necessarily. The prophet also talked about topics like Ghusl, Janabah, Istinja' supplications to read when one is having intercourse, and other things that you might find improper or indecent. Maybe you believe the prophet never talked about such things because it just doesnt sound right to you. But, obviously, your personal feelings (or mine, or anyone else's feelings) were never the measure of decency.

 

He was sent to guide people morally not instruct them in the kama sutra.

Lemme guess, as soon as RedSea mentioned the hadith about the shower, you had images of the Kama Sutra popping up in your head. LOL Consequently, this made you feel all goose-bumpy, and uncomfortable. Maybe you shouldnt have read that book. If you had'nt, you wouldnt find a narration about a wife mentioning that she had a shower with her husband so offensively erotic.

 

You don’t know what his wife said or if she said anything at all.

Of course I do. I have the hadith to prove it. And the experts in the feild (scholars) agree with me. What do you think the hadith is. Oh yes, Bukhari was fond of collecting the sayings of sexual perverts. I hope the sarcasm isnt lost upon you.

 

No man or woman would have private details of their married life talked about but you and others see it fit for Mohammed (csw).

Again, you're reading between the lines to much. I think it's the effect of the Kama Sutra book you alluded to, and probably read one time too many. No man or woman would like his or her spouse to be publicly admnonished and threatened . But in the Quran, Allah publicly admonishes and threatens the prophet's wives that they will recieve severe/double punishments if they act in certain ways. Do you want references? The point being that the comparison between profane ppl and sacred people (prophets) is misplaced.

[Captain Xalane]

Originally posted by Sacdiya:

Xalane, I thought Khalaf was a female. Forgive me if Iam wrong.

Safiya,If Khalaf is female then i am either aging or my server needs to be updated or something.In either case,what do u advice?

 

Back to the topic,Naden sheikh waalan halagu daro,she will be fine.

[Jacpher]

I have a feeling you’re trying to convince someone with ahadeeth who doesn’t follow the Sunnah. She does not mind learning new tricks from Sue Johnson but calls Bukhari ahadeeths rubbish.

 

You’re wasting your energy for citing sources of hadith. Start with the basics. Islam is not really Islam without the Sunnah of the prophet. Shahada is not really shahada without the inclusion of the messenger. The prophet’s message was not only to bring the book of Islam to mankind. Unlike some prophets, Muhammed was a rasuul, messenger and his message was above and beyond bringing the Qur’aan. The Sunnah is part of the message he came with. It would have been easier to just drop it from the sky and leave it to the people to figure out, if an instructor were needed. It’s very simple but important to understand.

[Khalaf]

Sadiya walaalshiis um a brother....... .....istagfruallah ya Allah for all my dumb jokes......when u listen to Quran u dont feel like joking walaahi.......LX be cool my brother. :cool:

 

salaamulah

[Naden]

Pi,

How unfortunate but not unexpected. I'm sorry but I'm not having that type of discussion.

 

Red Sea and Khalaf,

Think for a moment about the difference between the prophet (csw) providing guidance within the parameters of allowed marital practices (remember the forbidden is few but clear) in the laws/sunnah of God and his private matters. There is a stark difference. Within his short life, he could not have possibly touched upon every facet of the matter but the forbidden he made clear from the message and no doubt adhered to it himself.

 

If inclined, you would find a hadith where he strongly advises women to guard the secrets of their home. Did his own wife miss that lesson? I think not. When God advices people of his time not to talk too much and linger about in his home, it is to protect the decency and sanctity of his home.

[Khayr]

If inclined, you would find a hadith where he strongly advises women to guard the secrets of their home. Did his own wife miss that lesson? I think not. When God advices people of his time not to talk too much and linger about in his home, it is to protect the decency and sanctity of his home.

 

Might there be confusion as to where the line is drawn. I don't think that in Fiqh, that explicit and methodoligical details i.e. how many nights a week couples should have sex, how to touch your spouse etc.

 

What is outlined in Fiqh and the deen in general, is general anecodotal accounts from the Seerah (life of the Rasul salallahu caliyhe wasilm). No explicit and overrally detailed accounts of the prophet's spousal relations. We don't discuss EXPLICIT DETAILS but Generalists. Shariah rulings are derived from these generlists and delineated through the Ulama's qiyas/analysis.

 

In anycase, I can understand the good intentions of the Sister Naden, albeit misexpressed (new word for 2007's webseter )

 

Fi Amanillah

[N.O.R.F]

A question to all the yet to be married folks on this thread. After all the nonesnse talk, do you know your rights and responsibilities as a Husband/Wife in marriage? Do you know the parametres of choosing a spouse? This is a good time to look into,,,,,

 

The main reason for divorce among Somalis is that they simply did not do their homework before hand and did not act upon any of their responsibilities during the marriage.

[Som@li]

I guess any mature person would be wise enought to knwo that there is more into marriege,More reponsillity,More hardwork, less freedom,More commitment, that is way many of us, are NOt eager to take that path.

[Pi]

I'm sorry but I'm not having that type of discussion.

Yo, when you recklessly call something that our prophet did rubbish, be sure that your rubbishness won't be tolerated. Next time you insult the sunnah of our prophet pbuh, you will be disparaged in kind. Simple calculus. Don't let that escape you.

 

******Back to the equations******