Can you marry someone your heart doesn't want??

[Ismahaan]

Qalanjo sis honesty, you shouldn’t marry to someone if you are not in love. Don't waste your life and energy on someone you don't love, It is not worth it. Plus it’s not fair to him to promise to love and cherish him for the rest of your lives when you know you won’t. It’s not fair to yourself either to marry someone you are not really in love with. Sis find someone you love that is everything you want and don't settle for anything less. Some people may tell you things like there are people who gotten married and eventually develop love for each other bala bala but can you take the risk>? Ask your self sis?? Anyways it sounds to me like you’ve got a great friendship. Keep it that way I will suggest.

 

Remember “happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.”

 

I wish you all the best with big smile

[Ismahaan]

LIBaax ST excellent comment bro, very well said indeed :cool:

[rudy-Diiriye]

so whats love got to do with it?? its only a second hand emotions.

 

if is shes mac and i am pc..aint no way we gonna get along. its all about compatibility.

[Kulmiye]

"It's like your Favorite Food, only you don't have the appetite to eat it"lol i've never came across with such a dilemma,but the thing is enable to see eye to eye both party's have to be on the same avenue- Unfortunately thats not the case in this matter. one door is open- but the other is close.

 

much love and many blessing.

[Abyan]

I hope she married the guy, jaceeylku dhabta wuxuu imaadaa after marriage (by living with the person)

Dating someone and saying "Abaay waan ku jeclahay, maya anaa kaa daran, masoconeeyso."

[Yaabka-Yaabkiis]

It's like your Favorite Food, only you don't have the appetite to eat it

marka qaar waxaa jira wax la dhaho...."Rabid adan ogeen oo gadaal kaso bixi doonta" ama naceeb Qayaali ah ....my advice abaayo, naftaada si fiican ula tasho..xisaabi waxyaalaha ad ku necebtahay ama kasbi wayay in aad jeclaatO? ...somalida badana inta eynaan is guursan wey is jecelyihiin kadibna wey is nacaan....

[Kool_Kat]

Originally posted by Libaax-Sankataabte:

(passion only) ... well, just having sex with a daamn looking guy.

 

(intimacy only) ...Best senario is friendship. He is your best friend.

 

(commitment only) ... Best senario is being married to an old geezer your dad hooked you up with. You don't understand him and you are not attaracted to him.

So put all these three together, it is : Having sex with damnnnn good looking old geezer your dad hooked you up with, who at the end of the day is your best friend... People don't mind me, I am just messing with the poster...lol

 

Ina adeerkiis, waa yaabay ani...QATAR!!!

[Ismahaan]

I hope she married the guy, jaceeylku dhabta wuxuu imaadaa after marriage (by living with the person)

Dating someone and saying "Abaay waan ku jeclahay, maya anaa kaa daran, masoconeeyso."

 

do you really think in qofku iska jeceylaanayo qof uusan ka helin for the first place ...?/

I don.t think so in aay jeceylaanayso if there is no ka helitaan or chemical attraction which is a special quality in a person that inspires fascination in others. thus without attraction noo jeceyl

peace out folks

[Aaliyyah]

Real love does come after marriage, but as Ismahan said there must be some sort of attraction to begin the relationship.

 

If you don't have any feelings for the brother, don't expect miracles to happen after you get married, make sure you at least like him.

 

I think this advice is a bit too late, since she posted five years ago. For all we know she could be married with three kids. Allah yaclam

[-Lily-]

why are ppl giving advice 5 years later? LoL, she probably got it on with some other dude and forgot there once was a place called SOL.

[Aaliyyah]

Thanks for the cup of tea sis. But, I do believe in what I just said that real love does come after marriage. Since, realistically speaking life won’t just be dandy, there will be some hardships. By being together, and supporting one another at times of need, can strength your relationship. However, before you move your relationship to the next level referring to marriage at least you have to like him, or be attracted to him right?? You can’t expect to fall in love with him after you get married? Am not saying that isn’t possible, anything is possible if Allah wills, but don’t take your chances. Make sure you like him to some extent before you get married, and love will happen after that insha allah.

[Skipper]

Most women I know when asked about why they're not married, say "they'e waiting for Mr. Right" What if you found 'IT'? but Don't want it? There is a guy who has basically everything I asked in a man!, If it was Education, He got it, Diin, he got it, Personality, Politeness, Kindness, Romantic, Looks, Ambition, Respect for me and my family. you name it, he got it. On top of that, He loves me So much,I mean Deeply Head over hills in love with me. what is the problem you ask?. I have No love for him whatsoever! the guy loves me truly and I knows that but, I'm not Attracted to him at all.It's like your Favorite Food, only you don't have the appetite to eat it!

 

My question is.... What would you ladies or gentleman's do in this situation Would you over look your own happiness to be with someone your heart desires and instead go for this person that Loves you more then Live it's self or. Would you Decline their Offer and take your chances with someone you love instead??

 

I'm really in a serious dilemma, If I decline his love for me and instead take my chance in perhaps someone else? I'm afraid that I will miss a chance for real love, but if I go with the man that truly loves me, also I'm afraid that in the long run I won't be happy with him, since my heart doesn't want him?

 

PLease Give me your advices/opinions. I'm really a sister in need of good advice right about now.

 

Waad mahadsantihiin Nomadz

 

 

Abaaay qalanjo let me break it for you as easily as possible. Let me get this straight first, you say this unlucky dude is so in love with you that he took the art of loving to a whole new level,ajeeb.

For instance say you get a job in post office, and the very first day of your job you are brought at your office a hot cup of cappucino, you bow, say thanks and and start drinking it wondering what you done to deserve this hospitality made in heaven. So as an act of making you feel at home you are brought a cup of cappucino every day. After a while you start getting annoyed if the cappino lady is 2 minnutes late or if the cappucino doesnt taste as it usually does. So this farax poured you with all the love he could offer you and the consequence is that you started unappreaciating it. My only prediction is that the fella became too wussy, clingy, and made you qalanjo the centre of his universe. If the guy played alittle bit hard to get then i am very sure that you would have told us about how he is your romeo and how dearly you love him rather than this tragedy story, that only belongs in indian heart break movies. Being a somali fella myself my heart goes out to this unlucky farax who is clueless, no disrespect there by the way. Reality is indeed harsh. If you tell him you dont love him and you both go saparate ways. I know he would get heart badly but he will come over it in time, dont worry there, i gurantee it. Qalanjo at the end of the day you are the biggest looser in this relationship.

 

Am out

[Skipper]

Ismahan when i read all the post i couldnt help but notice your honesty. You are like this fella who qalanjo is dating. Honesty has no place in this world. So ismahan you should take some much needed classes from Rudy. You will be amazed at his depth of knowledge espeacially about faraxs and xalimos.

[Ismahaan]

Ismahan when i read all the post i couldnt help but notice your honesty. You are like this fella who qalanjo is dating. Honesty has no place in this world. So ismahan you should take some much needed classes from Rudy. You will be amazed at his depth of knowledge espeacially about faraxs and xalimos.

 

SKIPPER lols bro, iga daa rudy maba ii dirtey wah, maxuu soo wadaa lie lie muu i dhihi rabaa ?? :rolleyes:

 

Horta why why people lie on the first place ??why lie? and what is lie ?

Horta let us clarify "lie". Basically a lie is a false statement deliberately presented as being true (could be big or small doesn’t matter). 2 types of lies are well-known the white lies, which do little or no harm, and the black lies, which can do detriment to the deceiver and to the recipient. So the question is why people lie about serious things?? Like wiil baa bananka kugu arkaya waan ku jeceylahay abaa, habeenkii adi kugu riyoodaa, bas bas indhaha la iga shubaan bala bala bala www.farax.com . Gabar baa 3 sano will la socoto waxaa dhici karto only in aay interest ula socoto and then she will tell him back “babe I love you 2”. Occasionally most people lie about things but they don’t do it unless they see it is necessary but some people have practically a satanic-level skill of lying. Also there are many factors that play an important role behind lying such as biology factors as well as the environmental factors .Hypothetically I believe those who come from chaotic and dysfunction families have a greater tendency to lie than those who grew up in a caring household. In my opinion, we should not lie about anything, we are Muslim and we know honest is the best policy. An absolute honesty is as absurd an abstraction as an absolute temperature or an absolute value as William Bernard said. However some times absolute honesty can lead to trouble, risking causing offense to others who may not want or need to hear the complete truth. So be careful. Whatever the case, we should always be honest to ourselves and to others.

[Xalimopatra]

Lol Lily she may have lakiin it's good for people to express their opinions because other members might be going through the same thing themselves.