wife jokes

[rudy-Diiriye]

A man is talking to the family doctor. "Doc, I think my wife's going deaf." The doctor answers, "Well, here's something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. Then you'll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is."

 

The man goes home and tries it out. He walks in the door and says, "Honey, what's for dinner?" He doesn't hear an answer, so he moves closer to her.

 

"Honey, what's for dinner?" Still no answer. He repeats this several times, until he's standing just a few feet away from her.

 

Finally, she answers, "For the eleventh time, I said we're having MEATLOAF!"

[Jacaylbaro]

[Sherban Shabeel]

loooooool

[Cara.]

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married.

 

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

 

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

 

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

 

The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."

[NGONGE]

Son asked his mother:

 

"Mom, why are wedding dresses white?"

 

The mother looks at her son and replies,

 

"Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure."

 

The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.

 

"Dad why are wedding dresses white?"

 

The father looks at his son in surprise and says,

 

"Son, all household appliances come in white."

[rudy-Diiriye]

lol! good one...an appliance which works for 14 days in month and down for the rest!!

[Indhoos]

Marrying A Minnesota Girl

 

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their

new wives duties.

 

The first man had married a woman from Alabama and bragged he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning. He said it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and

the dishes were done.

 

The second man had married a woman from Florida. He bragged he had given

his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. On the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done and he had a huge dinner on the table.

 

The third man married a girl from Minnesota. He told her that her duties were to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed

and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything. But by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye; enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher and telephone a landscaper.