Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? Politicians and media personalities weigh in

[- Femme -]

SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.

 

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

 

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

 

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.

 

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

 

DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?

 

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

 

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

 

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

 

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now and will remain against it.

 

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

 

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken doesn’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how ****** he’s acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

 

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

 

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

 

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

 

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

 

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

 

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

[chubacka]

Classic Dr. Phil

 

thanks for da laugh.

[SCORPION_SISTA]

so right on

[ANTARA]

Somali pirate : The chicken entered our oceans and cut our leg. Furthermore, the chicken was stealing our marine resources and dumping nuclear waste on our shores.

[MellowBird]

^ haha.