Reporting on Single mothers

[Janna]

Divorces happen, which means the ultimate end of Calaf. This topic is not intended to offend single mothers but rather to discuss their unusual behaviours and their poor parenting skills. Single mothers located in Australia are mothers in hunt for a lover. A mother, at most times, who neglects her child/ren. Single mothers should not be told to care for their child/ren but to know their motherly instinct. I cannot comprehend why many single mothers prefer to pursue a second husband when the first was no good. Are they not able to place their needs on hold?

 

From my two year observation on single mothers, I have concluded the majority are party goers. Party goers who imitate younger girls. Many single mothers are beauties without a sense of direction who confuse themselves with 20 year olds. It amazes me hearing about single mothers attending Somali parties and weddings. Who is caring for the child/ren? I have had many heated debates about single mothers with people. All agreeing single mothers should remarry while their child/ren are young.

 

Someone needs to send out this message to all single mothers; it is not the end of the world if a man is not by your side.

[- Femme -]

Are you a sociologist Janna? You seem to be conducting all these studies/observations. Most of the single mother's I know are hard working, brave and responsible women who have been wronged. Perhaps, you have been hanging out with the few bad seeds.

 

Anways, I agree with them taking time alone with their children to bond with them and raise them without the hassles of a new man and his new rules. I keep kidding my mom to get remarried before she gets too old but deep down I'm so glad she is satisfied with just us. I know plenty of kids who'd rather keep their mom to themselves for just a few more years. The shock of divorce or their dad dying coupled with a new marriage is sometimes too much.

[Aaliyyah]

Asalaamu alaikum,

 

Janna I understand clearly your point, as I have also observed similar observations. I know many single mothers, who happen to attend weddings, parties, while they either hire a baby sitter, or leave the kids with a family members (mom, sisters, aunts etc). And certainly what is the point of partying when one has a responsibility over their shoulders, especially when that responsibility is parenting? From my perspective, there is no greater responsibly than parenting, and Somali women do need to learn the importance of parenting, guiding, and keeping up with their children’s lives. One must know when having kids that they are the guidance of future generation, one that they need to take seriously. Basically, if one doesn’t have the time to guide their children, help them out with school work, raise them to be a good Muslims, then one should not have children to begin with.

 

However, this is not just something that Somali women are short of; I have also observed that Somali men are also lacking the proper parenting ways. I think Somalis in general both women and men need to learn how to parent. You would see fathers staying at the maqaahi drinking their hot tea, and discussing politics ( war lord hebel xaguu ku dameeya, qabiilke qabiilke wax u geystay iyo wax loo joogin) . While the wives choose to party with their girlfriends and that leaves the kids without parenting supervision. This issue certainly need to be reflected on, but mostly is over looked. The cause of the problem that Somali youth have is mostly correlated with western influences, but starts within their family.

 

As for single mothers getting a second husband, I personally don’t see anything wrong with it. However, there are many ways of finding a husband, without attending every Somali party/wedding that takes place. Femme had raised that deep down she wanted her mom to stay single, so she can find the time to raise them. As selfish as that might sound, perhaps moms are better off staying single and meeting their children’s needs, and if they find a husband that would facilitate that goal than alhamdu lilah that is even better of, but that would be a rare case. I guess I have said enough for now, till next time insha-allah.

 

 

wa salaam

[Janna]

From a sociology point of view, single mothers are troubled because the presence of a father is missing. Studies have showed children without their father display deviant behaviour at school and in relationships. However I personally believe otherwise. A child needs nothing more then their mother, a carer and emotional healer.

[Saalixa]

ANd what makes you think you will never (god forbid) be in thier shoes one day??

No one chooses to be a single mother so stop defaming them.

[Captain Xalane]

I would like to see the response of a man who is married to a single mom.So far from what i have heard,single moms rock.

[Fanisha]

I would put part of the blame on the missing dad. He too has some responsibility.

[Che -Guevara]

Aaliyah416 says,

I think Somalis in general both women and men need to learn how to parent.

Somalis do know how to parent, and our parents have raised us to the best of their abilities. Their system of parenting worked well for the country, the culture , and people it was meant for. And for most part,children that grew under that system did turn to be well adjusted adults. What parents in the diasparo failed to understand is that we no longer live in Somalia. One has to adjust to reflect the new realities facing our society. Old methods won't work here in the west, new ones have to be deviced to better accomadate our kids, and raise them as responsible and viable beings. I guess one could say, we are still adjusting.

[Janna]

Originally posted by Hannibal Barca:

So far from what i have heard,single moms rock.

The bed.