No Dissing..... Just Kidding

[Child of Dune]

1. You make ( shah ) before leaving home,when getting to the

office,after lunch, when having guests, before the guests leave,

after the guests leave and before going to bed.

 

2. When shops have sale they call your mom.

 

 

3. You still have, stored in suitcases, clothes that you used to wear

when you were five .

 

 

4. You call an older person you've never met before "eedo"

or "abti".

 

 

5. You hide everything from your parents, but they still think they

know everything about you, and make you believe that they actually

do.

 

 

6. People are never happy with what you've achieve;

 

if you Graduated from school they'll tell you "Inshaallah shahadadda jamicadda", and when u get that "Inshaallah carosadda ", and when

 

you get that "Inshaallah cyal badan", and when you get

that "Inshaallah shahadaddoda jamicadda aad ko faraxdid", etc...

 

7. If you are a boy you start worrying about the Mukhabarat when you

reach puberty.

 

8. Getting a visa to Europe or the States is like getting a baby,

everybody tells you "mabrook"

 

9.You learn how to beg the personnel at the airport to allow the

excess baggage you've got as soon as your father stops doing that for

you.

 

10. Your dream is holding a different passport.

 

11. When you FLY BACK home you find 20 people waiting for you at the

airport.

 

13. Every time you fly back home you meet relatives you never knew

existed, and they look nothing like your family.

 

14. You look for universities as far away from home as possible.

 

15. You always curse at somalies when you are back home, but when you

live abroad you only make somalies friends.

 

16. When you come back from University you still have to live with

your parents, and fight over curfew allover again, as if you never

left them before.

 

17. Your relatives alone could populate a small city.

 

18. Everyone is a family friend.

 

19. You fight over who pays the mony bill.

 

 

20. You teach Westerners to swear words in your language.

 

21. When you go on a date you start thinking of lousy places where

nobody would go to so you wont bump into family or friends.

 

 

22. You end up in a lousy place and still bump into the relative with

the biggest mouth.

 

 

23. You think you are liberated when you can't even smoke in public

 

 

24. If you are 25 and not married yet, your parents make you feel

that you are getting too old.

 

 

25. Getting married becomes the only way you can escape your parents.

 

 

26. You tell your friends how to rebel against their parents when you

can't even stay out past midnight.

 

 

27. You always say "Open the light" instead of "Turn the light on"

or "get down

 

from the car" instead of "get out of the car."

 

 

28. You pronounce your p's as b's (bebsi and bolice)

 

 

29. You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you a story of

how he hadto walk miles just to get to school.

 

 

30. Your parents were ranked first in school.

 

 

32. Your dad swears at you with words that affect himself (

kalab)

 

 

33. You tell everyone that you are a successful businessman back

home" when you are really just an unemployed goat herder.

 

 

34. You feel uncomfortable saying the word 'tease' in English.

 

 

35. You smoke as if there is no tomorrow and you only smoke MARLBORO

REDS.

 

 

37. You only walk on the streets in groups of seven or more people

and talk really really loud in somali together.

 

 

38. You wear a black leather jacket, even when it is 100 degrees

outside.

 

 

39. you think its cool to dance and smoke at the same time

 

 

40. If you are an somali girl you give the look of death to another

somali girl who looks better than you.

 

 

41. Your aunt is always asking when she can dance at your wedding"