checkmate Posted February 24, 2006 Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car Mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress £3000. Tux rental-£80. People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A 5 day holiday requires only one suitcase . You can open all of your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is £5.00 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter what how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. No wonder we are happier. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.Faarax Posted February 24, 2006 ^^^ahhhhh thanks for reminding bro' Now i can feel good the rest of the day. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades. kix kix kix Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cara. Posted February 24, 2006 Originally posted by checkmate: No wonder we are happier. On the contrary, almost all those "perks" sounded sad to me. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Women begin dreaming about their wedding before they are old enough to understand that weddings --> marriage. I remember planning the ceremony, the dress, exactly how many guests and which of my friends would be the maid of honor, etc. The groom was a necessary prop, like a table or something. Hmmm, I think I might have a sketch or two in my old diaries. Chocolate is just another snack. Chocolate is ambrosia, gift of the gods to deserving mortals. Men just have inferior taste buds. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. Yes, I can see how being George W. Bush is preferable to bringing life into the world. Car Mechanics tell you the truth. Car mechanics almost always throw in a free tune up or battery test if I take a deep breath. Slowly. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky. But can you hold it for 6 hours as you search for a bathroom that doesn't make your gorge rise? Wrinkles add character. Only if you are a bulldog or geography. Wedding dress £3000. Tux rental-£80. A black tube really shouldn't cost that much. People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them. We are just more discreet New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. Mmmm, new shoes... Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. Along with other kinds of interactions You know stuff about tanks. Very useful knowledge in your cubicle, Dilbert. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. Acts of thoughfulness come thoughlessly. Your underwear is £5.00 for a three-pack. Cotton boxers vs. silk camisole? Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. Perish the thought. You almost never have strap problems in public. Kix kix. I understand men have to adjust things on occasion though. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Others don't have the same handicap, and can see you also don't know how to use a washing machine. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades. How awful. You only have to shave your face and neck. Daily. You can play with toys all your life. But do your toys compliment you, and buy you gifts and give you back rubs? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baluug Posted February 25, 2006 That's quite the good list...... Originally posted by Callypso: You only have to shave your face and neck. Daily. Try once a month!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cara. Posted February 25, 2006 ^You only need to shave once a month? Shouldn't you see a doctor? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Oz Posted February 25, 2006 Originally posted by checkmate: Your last name stays put. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades. One wallet and one pair of shoes one colour for all seasons. No wonder we are happier. hehehe Thank GOD !! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baluug Posted February 25, 2006 Originally posted by Callypso: ^You only need to shave once a month? Shouldn't you see a doctor? I need to shave every 3 or 4 days, but that doesn't mean I actually do it!! That's the point......Men can look good while unshaven, but a woman with hairy legs just looks wrong. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cara. Posted February 25, 2006 I see. The men I work with shave pretty much every day, otherwise they look unprofessional. One Monday, my supervisor came to work without shaving all weekend. Everyone kept coming up to him and asking him if he was okay. I think he bought a razor by lunchtime. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted February 25, 2006 By lunchtime..did he for an oFf Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Urban Posted February 25, 2006 Originally posted by Callypso: Car Mechanics tell you the truth. Car mechanics almost always throw in a free tune up or battery test if I take a deep breath. Slowly. You almost never have strap problems in public. Kix kix. I understand men have to adjust things on occasion though. LOL callypso! funny sh!t it takes me about an hour to shave my head and face, every other day! its a pain i tell ya Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted February 25, 2006 Originally posted by Callypso: ^Pardon? I asked ...So did he go for the Lunch break!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baluug Posted February 26, 2006 Originally posted by Callypso: I see. The men I work with shave pretty much every day, otherwise they look unprofessional. One Monday, my supervisor came to work without shaving all weekend. Everyone kept coming up to him and asking him if he was okay. I think he bought a razor by lunchtime. LOL Trust me where I work, I don't have to look professional, I could look like a bum with a month's beard growth and holes in my shirt, jeans, shoes, whatever........And no one will say a thing!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
