Sijui Jokes!!!!

[Xargaga]

This joke really made my day it happened way back during Nayayo Era. The then Head of state Moi payed a visit to wajiir District (NFD) He was welcomed as usual by the area Member of Parliament and it was before Multi partism so all MPs were satunch Nyayo supporters. This Somali MP was eager to please the mzee. So after greatings and lots of hailing to his excelency the president he started talk about the ills of Shiftas. and here is what he said

 

In swahili.

 

"Mtukufu Rais hii watu naitwa shifta habana silamu, Hawa ni Christian. Wewe kwisha ona watu islamu nabita ndani ya qaaburini hata abana soma qulwallahu?. hii watu abana silamu.

 

This guy was dumb that he forgot that Moi himself was a christian.Although ppl say that he could not find the word for non believers in in swahili except that word Christian.

[Malika]

Lol@hii watu habana silamu..Lol

 

Poor guy!

[umu zakaria]

lOOOOOOOOOOOL@ Wewe kwisha ona watu islamu nabita ndani ya qaaburini hata abana soma qulwallahu?. hii watu abana silamu.

 

Hah, he really tried.

[Skipper]

After several years in Europe i notice that my swahili is becoming poor and poor but i dont have any regrets about that. Am learning french so to hell with swahili.

[Paragon]

^^A short trip to Kenya or TZ would iron-out everything for you, trust me.

 

"Mtukufu Rais hii watu naitwa shifta habana silamu, Hawa ni Christian. Wewe kwisha ona watu islamu nabita ndani ya qaaburini hata abana soma qulwallahu?. hii watu abana silamu.

 

Looooooooooool Xargaga lool damn...Una hakika huyo MP ni mwana Wajiir? Si dani mzee, hata! Lol@Christian..Somali mentality is hilarious...hata hawa somi qulhuwalle

 

Never laughed that much for a long time Walahi.

[Faarax-Brawn]

Originally posted by Xargaga:

This joke really made my day it happened way back during Nayayo Era. The then Head of state Moi payed a visit to wajiir District (NFD) He was welcomed as usual by the area Member of Parliament and it was before Multi partism so all MPs were satunch Nyayo supporters. This Somali MP was eager to please the mzee. So after greatings and lots of hailing to his excelency the president he started talk about the ills of Shiftas. and here is what he said

 

In swahili.

 

"Mtukufu Rais hii watu naitwa shifta habana silamu, Hawa ni Christian. Wewe kwisha ona watu islamu nabita ndani ya qaaburini hata abana soma qulwallahu?. hii watu abana silamu.

 

This guy was dumb that he forgot that Moi himself was a christian.Although ppl say that he could not find the word for non believers in in swahili except that word Christian.

Actually,This is not a true story. Just so you know...it has different variations for different towns. Garissa has its own "MP" who said that & so does Mandera & all the rest. LOL

 

Btw,Xargaa,You plagiarized this joke right? I know the author who made this joke over in Karmel

[juma-nne]

Actually,This is not a true story. Just so you know...it has different variations for different towns. Garissa has its own "MP" who said that & so does Mandera & all the rest. LOL

 

Btw,Xargaa,You plagiarized this joke right? I know the author who made this joke over in Karmel

 

ooh really where the hell is karmel by the way? I didnt know Sijui Jokes are copy right protected? Just an advice to Faarax brawn please dont report our brother xargaga to your local chief cause kibandeba maqabo.

[SeeKer]

• Ati guka yako ni mzee mpaka chest yake imeandikwa 'THE END'

• Ati TV yenu ni small mpaka iko na scrollbars.

• Hao yenyu ni ndogo, ukiingia, umetoka.

• Wewe mweusi mpaka ukirushiwa mawe, mawe inarudi kuitisha torch

• Wewe mgondi mpaka ukishikilia ten bob Moi anabaki na vest peke yake

• Budako ni fala alienda airport akauliza kama kuna ndege pick-up

• Budako fala alipaint aerial ya TV yenu ndiyo ireceive color

• Paka wenu ni mnoma mpaka aki shika panya inaitisha chumvi

• Nyinyi ni mababi mpaka mnapikanga chapo na Robb ndio zikue chapo menthol

• Ngombe yenu ni mzee mpaka inatoanga yogurt.

• Nyinyi kwenu mmesota mpaka mna-kunywanga chai kwa kifuniko ya Bic.

• Budako ni fala, alienda kubuy ngombe akaona ikikojoa akasema, sitaki hiyo, imetoboka.

• Nyanyako mzee mpaka chawa za nywele yake hutembea na bakora.

• TV yenyu ndogo mpaka mkiwatch 100m athletics mnamalizia kuiona kwa ma

  neighbours.

• Doggy yenu noma, inabark ikitweng 'werf!! werf!!''

• Budako mrefu mpaka anauza mahindi kwa watu kwa plane

• ati wewe mweusi mpaka unaacha fingerprints zako kwa makaa

• ati mathako mnono akivaa nguo ya yellow watu hufikiria ni taxi

• we ni mweusi mpaka mabeste wakikupita wanasema"haiya cheki shortcut!"

• Brother yako ako na skin tight mpaka aki-wink mguu moja inainuka

• Nyi muko wengi hadi mukipigwa family photo wengine wanahang kwa frame

• ati wewe ni mweusi mpaka badala ya wasee kukuita wao huimba ile advert ya

  kiwi" hebu jitokeze , jionyeshe simama mbele ya watu..."

[hodman]

Walahi dat MP thing had me laughing mpaka I had machozi

[mz-alpha-soup]

seeker...you made me laugh so much pple think i'v gone mad...wonder where u got these jokes from..

[Geel Jire]

This one Ethiopian guy came to NY and the only English phrases he knew was "who owns this" and "who is this" One day he was walking down town new york and he asked this lady walking by who owns this building (skyscraper)and she said "I don't know".

He went to a restaurant and asked "who owns this"? and the man said " I don't know"

He went home and told his family that today, he came to know the richest man in NY and his name is " I don't know" The next morning he wakes up and sees this accident near his house. He rushed to the place like he was the fire fighter or something and asked "who is this"? someone replied; "I don't know" he was shocked and told his family that the richest man, " aka I don't know" died in a car accident.

[alisom]

Good!

[Maxaatiri]

"Mtukufu Rais hii watu naitwa shifta habana silamu, Hawa ni Christian. Wewe kwisha ona watu islamu nabita ndani ya qaaburini hata abana soma qulwallahu?. hii watu abana silamu."

 

hahaha thats a good one

 

Reminds me of a white guy ordering a drink at a restaurant in Arusha...badala ya kusema 'ningepena glassi moja ya mvinyo nyekundu or glassi moja ya red wine' Alisema "naomba glassi ya mkundu tafadhali" ( I would like a glass of rectum please)