RendezVous Posted January 26, 2006 HII NI KALI MAZEE!!!!!!!!!!! Four Kenyans were on death row for a very serious felony offence. They were given four types of the death penalty options to choose from: 1.Electric chair 2.Firing squad 3.Hanging 4.HIV Injection. On the fateful day, the 4 Kenyans were taken straight to the Executioner to get killed. The Jaluo man chose the electric chair; and boom he was gone! The Kao(kalenjin) man chose the firing squad; A shot was fired, and boom he was gone. The Kiuk man was lifted onto the noose by the Executioner and boom! he was gone! The Luhya man walked confidently to the Executioner and selected the HIV Injection option.They inject a bottle of the deadly virus into his veins and off he goes! He walks confidently to his cell(body)and tells his cellmates, pointing at the Executioner: "Abandu abajinga,shivamanyire khufwala ikondom!" (****** people, they do not know that I am wearing condom). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted February 2, 2006 Kikuyu Romance Gikuyu: Umekura Nyama Shoma? kadame: DIO Gikuyu: Si fombe Umekunywa? kadame: DIO Gikuyu:Na si umekura thambutha tena ya firifiri? kadame: DIO Gikuyu: BASI RAZIMA SHUMA IRARE DANI !!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kinsi Posted February 4, 2006 "BASI RAZIMA SHUMA IRARE DANI" Lol.. basi hio ni noma jo! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted February 5, 2006 Is it really a "Shuma"..or a Rod.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kinsi Posted February 6, 2006 ^^ Lol..the Gikuyu jamaa anajua better. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted February 7, 2006 IN INGKHO HOTELS PEST MENU Tonut na maantasi 5.00 /= Homelet Plain 4.50/= Jai na zgonji 5.00/= Tenku na ukali 6.00/= Jabati Pantika 6.40/= jabati na karanka 15.00/= Gugu ya ingo 50.00/= Gugu ya genjik 25.00/= Mgade Poflo 6.50/= mapawa ya ingokho(chumusha)10.00 pop mapawa ya ingokho( choma) 15.00 pop IZdrungi kafu 1.50/= Matonto na Mihoko 30.00/= Zamagi ntoko 23.00/= Enchoy your meals bay at te counder Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted February 7, 2006 A SCENE: KENYA AIRWAYS "What is all the fuss about?" Weseka Sambu asked a hastily convened news conference at Jomo Kenyatta International Airport. "A technical hitch like this could have happened anywhere in the world. You people are not patriots.You just want to cause trouble". Sambu, a spokesman for Kenya Airways, was speaking after the cancellation of a through flight from Kisumu, via Jomo Kenyatta, to Berlin: "The forty-two passengers had boarded the plane ready for take-off, when the pilot noticed one of the tyres was flat. Kenya Airways did not possess a spare tyre, and unfortunately the airport nitrogen canister was empty. A passenger suggested taking the tyre to a petrol station for inflation, but unluckily the jack had gone missing so we couldn´t get the wheel off. Our engineers tried heroically to re-inflate the tyre with a bicycle pump, but had no luck, and the pilot even blew into the valve with his mouth, but he passed out. "When I announced that the flight had to be abandoned, one of the passengers, Mr Mutu, suddenly struck me about the face with a life-jacketwhistle and said we were a national disgrace. I told him he was being ridiculous, and that there was to be another flight in a fortnight. And, in the meantime, he would be able to enjoy the scenery around Kisumu, albeit at his own expense." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted February 7, 2006 REAL KENYA: how do you know if your in kenya? when you put your hand out of the window of a matatu and when you bring it back in, your watch is gone... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Astral Posted February 11, 2006 "Abandu abajinga shivumanyire khufwala ikondom!" Lol...maskini! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Beige Posted February 11, 2006 Veve's jokes are paying off i can see! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted February 12, 2006 Originally posted by The Rendezvous...: Kikuyu Romance Gikuyu: Umekura Nyama Shoma? kadame: DIO Gikuyu: Si fombe Umekunywa? kadame: DIO Gikuyu:Na si umekura thambutha tena ya firifiri? kadame: DIO Gikuyu: BASI RAZIMA SHUMA IRARE DANI !!!!! Chuma as in ROD or a LOG...that is serious Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted February 13, 2006 An African chieftain flew to the United States to visit the president. When he arrived at the airport, a host of newsmen and television cameramen met him. One of the reporters asked the chief if he had a comfortable flight. The chief made a series of weird noises: "Screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z..." Then he added in perfect English, "Yes, I had a very nice flight." Another reporter asked, "Chief, do you plan to visit the Washington Monument while you're in the area?" The chief made the same noises: "Screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z..." Then he said, "Yes, and I also plan to visit the White House and the Capitol Building." "Where did you learn to speak such flawless English?" asked the next reporter. The chief replied, "Screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z... From the short-wave radio." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
raula Posted February 14, 2006 "Gikuyu: BASI RAZIMA SHUMA IRARE DANI !!!!!" Ngai fafa..aterere..tupeleke mos mos basi. The INGOKHO jokes hits close to home aha jamani..Rende..watutukana au nini..as the Luhya would say:UQOLASHINA mwene Na kweli nimemiss kilugha. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viking Posted February 14, 2006 Originally posted by The Rendezvous...: Gikuyu: BASI RAZIMA SHUMA IRARE DANI !!!!! Rende, loool...We ni sheikh bomu kweli! Unahubiri pande moja na huku unatoa ma jokes kama hizi? Noma! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted February 15, 2006 Originally posted by Viking: quote:Originally posted by The Rendezvous...: Gikuyu: BASI RAZIMA SHUMA IRARE DANI !!!!! Rende, loool...We ni sheikh bomu kweli! Unahubiri pande moja na huku unatoa ma jokes kama hizi? Noma! Com si com sa!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
