Noah and The New Ark

[sigma]

In the year 2004, The Lord came unto Noah, who

was now living in South Africa, and said, "Once again, the earth has

become wicked and over-populated and I see the end of all flesh

before me. Build another Ark

and save two of every living thing along with a

few good humans."He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six

months to build the Ark, before I will start the unending rain for 40 days

and 40 nights". Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw

Noah weeping in his yard....but no ark !!

"Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start the rain!

Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have

changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing withthe inspector about the need for a

sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that I've

violated the neighbourhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and

exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a

decision. Then South African Transport and Eskom demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power, trolley and

other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea.

I argued that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear

nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There's a

ban on cutting local trees in order to save the Giant Spotted Owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save

the owls. But no go! When I started gathering the animals, I got sued

by an animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals

against their will. As well, they argued the accommodation was too restrictive

and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined

space. Then Kort Broek of Environment Affairs ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact

study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the

Human Rights Commission on how many previously disadvantaged individuals I'm

supposed to hire for my building crew.

Also, the Trade Unions say I can't use my sons.

They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark building experience.To make matters worse, the Customs and Revenue via

the Scorpions seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least

ten years for me to finish

this Ark." Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched

across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and

asked, "You mean You're not going to destroy the world?".

"No", said the Lord. "The South African

Government beat me to it!"

[Yoonis_Cadue]

Very Funny!