Foxy Posted September 27, 2005 shit Happens •Taoism: Shit happens. • Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens." • Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit. • Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not. • Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening? • Hinduism: This shit has happened before. • Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah. • Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible. • Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel. • Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it. • Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else. • Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen. • Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it. • Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it. • Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another. • Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another. • Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it. • Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!) • Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay. • Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again. • Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us? • Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work. • Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday. • Creationism: God made all shit. • Secular Humanism: Shit evolves. • Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray! • Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind. • Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit. • Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit. • Utopianism: This shit does not stink. • Darwinism: This shit was once food. • Capitalism: That's MY shit. • Communism: It's everybody's shit. • Feminism: Men are shit. • Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us... ???†?????????????? Cheers Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Foxy Posted September 27, 2005 A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job." The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year." The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're bullshittin' me!" The social worker says, "Yeah, well... you started it." cheers Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Foxy Posted September 27, 2005 A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job." The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year." The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're bullshittin' me!" The social worker says, "Yeah, well... you started it." cheers Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MR ORGILAQE Posted September 27, 2005 Classic stuff Foxy missed your quacky jokes Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Keyz 1-8-7 Posted September 27, 2005 • Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rudy-Diiriye Posted September 27, 2005 foxism: my shit dont stink!! lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
J.Lee Posted September 27, 2005 Wordetteism: Shit happens unless you're constipated. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FatB Posted September 28, 2005 Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us? lol how true! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Caano Geel Posted September 28, 2005 ^^ wahhabism shit!, what shit? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
