Men Women Jokes

[Conspiracy]

There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his

money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he

died, he said to his wife,

"When I die. I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket

with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me." And so he

got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she

would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket; his wife was

sitting

there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they

finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close

the casket, the wife said,

"Wait just a minute!" She had a box with her; she came over with the

box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket

down, and the rolled it away.

So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all

that money in there with your husband."

The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't go back on

my

word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket

with him."

"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?

"I sure did" said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my

account and wrote him a cheque. If he can cash it, he can spend it."

 

 

Women Are Smarter Than Men

Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, Charles

decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.

Going to a singles' bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his

breath away.

"I'm just an ordinary man," he said, walking up to her, "but in just a

week or two, my father will die and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

The woman went home with Charles, and the next day she became his

stepmother.

 

 

Understanding Women (A Man's Perspective)

I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how

you

can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair

out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

 

You Know who you are girl!! you big coward

 

 

Words

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a

day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to

be

because we have to repeat everything to men. The husband then turned

to

his wife and asked, "What?"

 

 

****** And Beautiful

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so ******

and so beautiful all at the same time. "

The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you

would be attracted to me; God made me ****** so I would be attracted to you!

 

 

Coffee

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the

coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get

up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you

should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my

coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in

the

Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't

believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him

at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.... "HEBREWS"

 

BIG SMILE NOW LADIES, ITS JUST A JOKE