New Answering Service at the Mental Health Institute:

[Foxy]

New Answering Service at the Mental Health Institute:

 

Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline

 

*If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

 

*If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

 

*If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

 

*If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

 

*If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

 

*If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

 

*If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press - no-one will answer.

 

*If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.

 

*If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.

 

*If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.

 

*If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

 

*If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

 

*If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

 

*If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.

[Baluug]

Originally posted by Foxy-brown:

 

*If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

that's a good one lol

[Warrior of Light]

Originally posted by Foxy-brown:

*If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.

 

Thats a lost case , cant remember even why they called, will just put the telephone down or if they r lucky 2 reach the operator conversation will go , Who can I help you? errhm Im sorry I forgot, whats your name ... I dont know, where you live, I dont know..... .

[MR ORGILAQE]

LOOOL

i actuallu heard this real life on an answering machine at a hospital a few years ago.Very funny

[Baluug]

Orgilaqe,what problem did you have that you needed to call the mental health dept.? LOL just joking.

[Animal Farm]

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.

That's funny