How to Speak About Women And Be Politically Correct

[QUANTUM LEAP]

How to Speak About Women

And Be Politically Correct

She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED-AMERICAN.

 

She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.

 

She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.

 

She is not HALF NAKED - She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.

 

She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.

 

She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.

 

She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.

 

She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.

 

She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

 

She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

 

She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

 

She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

 

She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.

 

She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.

 

She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.

 

She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

 

She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.

 

She does not GET YOU EXCITED - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.

 

She is not KINKY - She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.

 

She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.

 

She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.

 

She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

 

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

 

She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.

 

She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.

 

She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

 

She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.

 

She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is GRAVITY RESISTANT.

 

She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE

 

She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

 

She is not LOOSE - She is MORALLY IMPAIRED.

 

She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

 

She does not have THIN LIPS - She is COLLAGEN DEPENDENT.

[Paragon]

Lol What can I say? Thank you, for PC's sake...